Life at Lawndale's "The Cutting Room Floor"

15 Points Per Correct Answer - No time limit  

1. They sat around the far table at "The Sheep and Idiot". It was a normal Wednesday, and the Lawndalers were busy slaving over a hot quiz. As Blethar examined his Fuzzy Navel (he knew he should stop shaving in the shower), he had a flash of brilliance. This was overshadowed by EmJ's flash of brilliance, which was better. "How about", she said, flicking an olive, "A thematic. We can all get involved." Flynn nodded. "So, what about a topic?" They all laughed at his accent. It's not easy being a Yorkshireman. "How about 'Other People's Amputations'?", clucked Maggie. Here comes the question (which we have cleverly woven into a loosely fact-based story). On the topic of other people's amputations, we have the castrati singers. From where did this tradition come? An Italian idea, it was started by poor families who wished their children to become famous singers. Started by the Catholic Church, who wanted high voices, but followed strict scripture forbidding women from singing. Eunuchs, who were really of little use after they had finished serving the Chinese royalty, were used as entertainment. The castrati men were in fact 'guevedocos' - male pseudohermaphrodites who, after puberty, developed regular male genitals, but no testes.

2. The table was a sea of blank faces. EmJ ordered another tray of Martinis (with all the olives to be put in her glass), and sat quietly in the corner. Meanwhile, Maggie and Sazzaw were stuck in a debate over how much power 500 people in ‘Free Deirdre Rashid’ T-shirts have to sway the British judicial system. Drider had ordered lunch when EmJ came back to the group. "What you eating?", she murmured. "Vichyssoise" said Drider, spraying leeks. And lo! The group had their second hot idea, "Ways to Avoid Paying for Soup". According to a survey in Champaign, Illinois, soup indicates personality. Which of the following soups is not matched to its personality trait? "Vegetable - a homebody at heart, less likely to be a world traveler or spontaneous and more likely to read family and home magazines." "Chicken-noodle soup - high on the church-going scale, fond of pets and more likely to be stubborn and less outdoorsy." "Flavourless broth - would much rather be eating something else. No defined personality. Possibly Anthea Turner." "Minestrone - more likely to be physically fit, nutritionally conscious, family-spirited, unlikely to own a pet and on a restricted diet."

3. While they all agreed that it might make a good quiz, no-one could agree on the semantics, and so everyone moved onto their own little conversations again. Sazzaw blamed Flynn for the idea as they got back to their discussion about Nana Mouskouri. The night was still young, however, and even though happy-hour was becoming bitterly ironic, the group still had plenty to discuss. The conversation moved onto cleansing products and how badly the public smelt, and so... "Soap Brands of Paraguay!" There was a brief silence, followed by angry looks and intermittent yelling. Drider, meanwhile, had passed out from all the excitement. As the group dismissed another plan, someone mentioned dictatorship. Which of these is not true about Paraguay's dictator, Stroessner? Stroessner was of German origin Stroessner hated the Americans, but loved the Chinese Stroessner despised Communism and suppressed the PCP during his rule. Stroessner was a soldier during the Chaco War against Bolivia

4. People were milling around the table. Drider was trying to pick herself up using a pool cue and a packet of custard creams that were conveniently placed beside EmJ's stool, and it was getting desperate. 'Life at Lawndale' had no new quiz, and it was starting to get late. "Did anyone ever watch 'Camberwick Green'?" offered EmJ. "I never liked Windy Miller. He was such a pervert." The group nodded in agreement, and so the idea for the next quiz came about. "The Morality of Camberwick Green"! Which of these moral issues was never raised on "Camberwick Green", however? That drugs are bad - put across when a bleary-eyed Windy Miller does things that can't even be mentioned in a polite quiz. That chickens and other farm animals ought to be treated well - made obvious when Farmer Jonathan Bell's eggs are rejected because his birds are not free-range. That drinking and driving is never clever - shown by Windy Miller's adverse reaction to a glass of home-made cider. That when you work together, you can achieve anything - this was pointed out when the village stopped an unwanted electrical sub-station being installed in the village.

5. "Does anyone want a cashew?" asked Blethar, passing his nuts around the table. Sazzaw took a handful and started to scribble notes down on a gin soaked serviette. "Has anyone done a quiz about raisins?" she queried. "So... how about 'Dried Fruit in a Permissive Society', then?" The pub quiz was just starting and Maggie was trying to get a team-name from the group, so no one had heard this idea. But not all fruit are the same. Medlars, for example, must rot internally and then be left to dry before they are edible. What is the name given to this unique process of rotting and drying the fruits, and how best are they eaten? Gurking - after gurking, throw the medlar away. It's a rotten, dried up fruit... Spelting - after spelting, you should use the fruit for pies. Bletting - after bletting, eat the medlar fruits whole with a nice glass of port. Spelunking - after spelunking, consume the medlar boiled in milk.

6. More drinks were needed. Flynn walked to the bar while the rest of the group were discussing why the subject of Paraguayan soap brands was brought up when no-one knew anything about either. But it became irrelevant when Flynn appeared with a tray of gin and tonics. "So how's the garden been, Maggie?" he chirped. "Those earwigs are back. Something's got them in the mood!" The group flinched. Except Blethar, he thought it was a great idea. Now, I'm not saying it isn't a good idea, but it is too... graphic, so let's go with some entomological etymology. Which of these has been offered as a reason for the name 'earwig'? All of these three. It's a pretty versatile thing, the lowly earwig. Derived from the English ear and wiggle, "from the notion that it penetrates into the head through the ear." Earwigs were pulverised and used in ear medicines by the Romans. The shape of the hind wings, when unfolded, prompted the name 'ear-wing' to be used, and it stuck in its slightly altered form, 'earwig'.

7. "Ick", exclaimed Sazzaw, as she got back to her dried currants. The clocks read 10:23, and the pile of "idea napkins" was starting to take over the table. "Where do you want to go for food after?" asked Maggie. The group quickly agreed on the new Moroccan place down the street. "Maybe we can do a quiz on Moroccan food, then." said Flynn. "Well, then. Couscous it is" stated Blethar. "Couscous - the food so nice they named it twice!" The name couscous comes from a Maghreb word, 'kuskusu', but in the Maghreb, they call it by a more general name. What do they call it? tajine'na - since it is often served with a tagine bez'zéf - meaning 'a lot', or 'plenty'. ta'aam - which means 'food'. berkoukes - a name referring to the bullet like form of couscous.

8. "Why have we got so many ideas about food?" complained Flynn, chewing on the edge of a beer mat. Drider and EmJ, meanwhile, were discussing backhanded compliments, and how EmJ didn't really like being called dry (like some mad desiccated piece of coconut). Rain began beating down on the windows, and Maggie looked down at her jacket. "I wish I'd brought my... hey! Has anyone done a quiz on raincoats?" No-one had had enough to drink to give this suggestion a serious response (and it was for the best. Language like that could get you barred.) Someone had to say something, however, and so it came down to Flynn. "We could call it "Cagoules, Cagoules, Cagoules!", or something... but then that would be quite confusing." Why would it be confusing? "La Cagoule" were also a violent French political party in the 1930s. "Cagoules" was a main character in Amélie Nothomb's "Acide Sulfurique". A 'cagoule' is also a small fish found in the Senegal and Gambia rivers. . The name of the quiz is also the name of a French-language album by Nana Mouskouri!

9. Regulars were starting to collect their coats at the door, but the Lawndalers were sat around their table as they had been all night. EmJ was sat in front of another Martini (trying to spark up a conversation with the olive - it's been a long night), while Drider and Flynn were arm wrestling over nothing. Between quiz ideas, the group had been discussing the English language. "We could do a grammar quiz. Everyone hates grammar. That could be tedious" whined Drider. "Let's call it 'Grammatical Dangly Bits', then. That should attract people" muttered Maggie. The group snickered. On the subject of grammar, we have dangling modifiers. Which of these sentences, taken from national publications, does not suffer from a dangling modifier? From "Time" magazine - "In addition to being cheap and easily obtainable, Crotti claims the bags have several advantages over other methods." From "The Independent" - "I couldn't have seen what was going on around me, as the weather was poor that day." From "The New York Times" - "Slim, of medium height, and with sharp features, Mr Smith's technical skills are combined with strong leadership qualities." From "The Elements of Style" - "Being in a dilapidated condition, I was able to buy the house very cheap."

10. It was extremely late. EmJ was paralytic as Sazzaw and Flynn were arguing whose fault it was that Aunt Nora fell out with Aunt Dora in 1986, and Maggie was pulling on her coat. As the group got their bags together, Blethar popped out from behind a pile of brochures. "Where you going for your holiday, Mags?" he asked as he grabbed his umbrella. "Iceland" she replied. "Like they say. 'There's Something About Althing.'" Suddenly, there was a flash of light! A power surge had taken out the lighting and the rafters were on fire. But that was the sign they sought. "The Althing! No-one will have done a quiz about that!" cried Maggie. The Icelandic system of politics has for a long time been dependent on symbolic geographical features. Which of the following geographical features was not important to the early members of the Althing? The 'thingvellir', which were flat plains where the assemblies were held. Hekla, a notable Icelandic volcano, used for animal sacrifices. The 'lögberg', which was a rocky outcrop where the 'lögsögumathur' would recite the laws. 'Búthir', which were camps on flat land around the rocky outcrops where laws were read.