Absurd French 1002

I beg a pardon from you. I did not mean to make a bouquet of your petunias. I took them to church for Mardi gras.

I demand a pardon for my husband's behavior on the train. He really hasn't been the same since I let him plant those petunias. He cannot seem to stop eating foie gras.

I beg your pardon, but your goslings are digging up my petunias. If this keeps up, they'll end up in the goose liver pâté!

You ask me to pardon you, but, your husband has been digging up my petunias by the roots and if this keeps up, I'll have him in for a nice glass of wine and some foie gras!

Look darling! The postman's left us a sample packet of Eau de Cologne called Popeye! There is a note attached that says, 'a hint of spinach and a burst of olive oil, please use with caution.'.

Look, darling! The cicada left a baby stork at the door whose name is Popeye. There is a note attached that says, 'I nest in pine trees only please.'

Look, darling! The stork brought us a baby called Popeye. There's a note attached that says, 'Spinach please'.

Look, darling! The swan left us a baby named Popeye. There's a note attached that says, 'Don't put me in the thorn bush please'!

The water is blue and the sun is magnificent! How you must miss me!

The sky is blue and the sun is magnificent! How I miss you!

The sky is blue and the sand is magnificent! How much you're missing!

The heavens are blue and so are you! Because you're not with me!

Alphonse had always dreamt of taking a trip to the Amazon on a raft.

Alphonse still dreamt of a ravishing Amazonian woman on board a raft.

Alphonse had always raved about a trip to the Amazon as he raked leaves.

Alphonse was forever dreaming of an Amazon warrior with a mighty shield.

The babies started smiling when the babysitter gave them mashed up bananas.

The children started to laugh when the teacher slipped on the banana peel.

The children began to laugh when the Jedi Master slipped on his light saber.

The children began to cry when they heard the puppet master's voice.

We heard the wolf vomiting not far from our tent, and, because the moon was full, I suddenly felt like going to get my hunting gear, just in case he came back to bite my neck!

We heard the wolf's cry not far from the bus stop and, because the moon was full, I suddenly had the urge to hunt it to make a coat out of it...in case the winter got too cold!

We heard the wolf howl not far from our shelter, and because the moon was full, I suddenly got the urge to look for my razor, just in case I...needed it to shave my neck!

We threw the wolf's trap to not far from the shelter in which he was hiding, and as the moon was full, we waited for him to come out and get a shave!

Mean old owl, you really aren't a lark ! Go eat some whipped cream !

Mean old lark, you really aren't very nice ! Get out of here or I'll whip you !

Bleach blonde bird, you really aren't very nice ! Get out of here or I'll tell my mom !

Mean old witch, you really aren't very nice ! You better watch out or I'll turn you to ice

Suddenly, what do I see? A dove who had made its nest in my straw hat!

Suddenly, what road do I take? The tractor led me to the straw haystacks!

Sudan, oh desert of my dreams! A dove suddenly appeared with an olive branch in his beak!

Suddenly, what did I see? Christopher Columbus arriving in his ship wearing a straw hat!

Did you know there was egg yolk on your tie?

Do you know that egghead wearing a tie?

Did you see the yellow in that painting?

Did you know there was a yellow Easter egg hidden under your horsewhip?

I'm going to leave, as this person's loved you, in Vienna in the rain and the sunshine.

I'm gonna love you, like nobody's loved you, come rain or come shine

I'm gonna tame you, like nobody's tamed you, but the rain's coming and the sun.

I'm going to live in Vienna, where the rain never stops and the sunshine never comes.