1. "Ladies, what's with putting perfume on the inside of your wrist? What's happening here? Is that so if you slap some guy he'll still find you intriguing?" Jerry Seinfeld Steve Martin Paul Reiser A. Whitney Brown

2. "I saw Huey Lewis and the News on MTV yesterday. They were playing "It's Hip to be Square". It's hip to be square? That must be the same place it's hip to be named Huey." Richard Belzer Sinbad Sam Kinison Jay Leno

3. "I watched the President's press conference yesterday. A reporter said, 'Mr. President, in the dictionary under redundant it says see redundant'. The President said, 'Well, you can say that again.'" Jim Carrey David Letterman Robin Williams Johnny Carson

4. "I asked this guy, 'What's so great about doing cocaine?' He said, 'It intensifies your personality'. I said, 'Yes, but what if you're a jerk?'" Richard Belzer Janeane Garofalo Bill Cosby Wayne Gotter

5. "They have so many channels for TV now. When I was a kid, we had 3 channels, that's it! And if the President was on, your night was shot!" Kevin James Drew Carey Jeff Foxworthy Ray Romano

6. "You know how sometimes, when you're brushing your teeth, some of the toothpaste falls off and lands in the sink? Here's what I like to do: I wait till it hardens, then serve it as an after dinner mint." Denis Leary Steven Wright David Letterman Robin Williams

7. "How come when you find a lump or something a little different on your body it always makes you feel better if you find the same thing on the other side?" Kevin James Ray Romano Andy Kaufman Drew Carey

8. "I took the headlights out of my car and replaced them with strobe lights. Now it looks like I'm the only one moving." David Letterman Bob Goldthwait Steven Wright Sam Kinison

9. "Whenever I see somebody order the New York steak in a restaurant, I wonder if they think the steak actually comes from New York. Like there are cowboys riding around New York City yelling, 'Get those strays off the Chrysler Building!'" Jerry Seinfeld Ellen Degeneres Chris Rock Larry Miller

10. "When you're going out for the evening, you only take the stuff you know you're going to need: comb, keys, pen, smokes, lighter, hanky, condom, and change. Well, only the stuff you hope you're gonna need!" Dave Chappell Andrew "Dice" Clay George Carlin Denis Leary