1. What are the first words of "Ball Four?" [Nuts!] Benched again I'm 30 years old and I have these dreams "Ball four." Two words that no pitcher wants to hear I can't believe it... just cannot believe it

2. What is "The Flame?" A "restaurant" used in a practical joke The 96 mph fastball thrown by a 17-year-old who worries Bouton The "mother of all hot-foots" That look that Sal 'The Barber' Maglie gives when he's mad at you

3. "One of these days, maybe I'll figure out how to" do something, writes Bouton at one point. "It sounds like a valuable pitching weapon." Do what? Zitz a guy Bean someone and make it look like an accident Smoke him inside Focus

4. What is Joe Schultz's seemingly constant companion whenever Bouton wants to discuss getting more time in the pitching rotation? A can of tuna fish A goldfish who receives more of Schultz's attention than does Bouton A fifth of Jack Daniels A liverwurst sandwich

5. During Bouton's stint in the minors, what form of poisoning does he claim to suffer? Arm rot Food Mai tai AAArsenic

6. What cartoon character impersonation did Marty Pattin frequently draw laughs with? Porky Pig as an English Lit professor Elmer Fudd explaining how to throw a "cuwve ball" Mickey Mouse talking back to Joe Schultz Donald Duck having an orgasm

7. Eddie O'Brien is called "Mr. Small Stuff" because of: His anatomy His obsession with meaningless matters His batting average as a player His bottlecap collection

8. What does Joe Schultz say when he sees a player's wife drinking a Coke? It's the real thing! You'll never make it on that, my dear. Can I get you some rum for that, honey? Hey! When'd they run out of Pepsi?

9. What could be better than a Fourth of July double-header in Kansas City? How about a Fourth of July double-header in Kansas City where you're not blown out by the third inning? Everything up to and including a kick in the [rear] Throw in some of that great KC barbeque between games and you're talking! Oh, death maybe. Or facing Boog Powell three times in one inning

10. Who were George Saviano and Al Gornie? The founders of the Jim Bouton fan club They both claimed to be married to the same woman The last two American League batters Bouton faced The original batboys for the Seattle Pilots

11. What does "ding dong" mean in the book? A fan who talks too much and doesn't know what he's talking about The sound of the bullpen phone ringing A pitched ball hitting the catcher in his protective cup A home run

12. When Mike Hegan is filling out a public relations questionnaire, what is the first answer he proposes to the question "What is the most difficult thing about playing major-league baseball?" Answering questions like this Hitting, pitching, running, throwing Explaining to your wife why *she* needs a penicillin shot for *your* kidney infection Keeping a straight face in my ridiculous uniform

13. At Cafe Bohemia in Washington DC, what did Eddie O'Brien have for dinner? Fried chicken Buffalo burger Steak Lambchops

14. Which of the following is most closely-related to "chin music?" Tweener Hose Kicks Purpose pitch

15. Which player listed below never roomed with Jim Bouton in "Ball Four?" Tommy Davis Steve Hovley Mike Marshall Bob Lasko

16. The Pilots' official team photo was taken between July 25 and July 27. What is one thing below that does NOT help us know this? The scoreboard in the photo Bouton's stories about the photo session The players in the photo The Pilots' schedule

17. What children's TV show did Bouton mention frequently in the book? Captain Video Romper Room Tom and Jerry Howdy Doody

18. During an insult contest, who or what does Merritt Ranew say Fred Talbot looked like? A plumber A perch Woody Allen Joe Schultz

19. Why did baseball players love Washington DC's Shoreham Hotel so much? The room service The location The layout The bar

20. Where was Jim Bouton when he found out he'd been traded to Houston? Hosting his son's birthday party Baltimore Cleveland Chicago

21. What was "Proud to be an Astro?" The Astros' official fight song The title of the last section of "Ball Four" A drinking game A raunchy ditty that the Astro players sing

22. Where did Jim's family live in September 1969 while he was with the Astros? In the visiting NFL locker room at the Astrodome At Astroworld Hotel With his wife's grandfather At a NASA training facility that hadn't been used for two years

23. Jim was traded to Houston for Dooley Womack. How else does Dooley Womack make an appearance in "Ball Four?" The Yankees invented a dance based on Womack's on-field mannerisms He'd get mad when Joe Pepitone would call him "Wooley Domack" He was on the bullpen's "All-Ugly Team" Jim's manager compared him to Dooley Womack after he had a splendid spring training

24. In scolding the team after a sloppy loss, who did Harry Walker say they looked like? Barney Fife Molly Putz Tom Thumb Captain Kangaroo

25. Finish the book as Jim did: "You see, you spend a good piece of your life gripping a baseball..." and in the end it turns out that it was the other way around all the time. but it's baseball that takes a big piece out of you in the end. and then, one pitch and... Ball Four! but then it IS only baseball. Time to move on.