1. What are the first words of "Ball Four?" I'm 30 years old and I have these dreams "Ball four." Two words that no pitcher wants to hear [Nuts!] Benched again I can't believe it... just cannot believe it

2. What is "The Flame?" The "mother of all hot-foots" A "restaurant" used in a practical joke The 96 mph fastball thrown by a 17-year-old who worries Bouton That look that Sal 'The Barber' Maglie gives when he's mad at you

3. "One of these days, maybe I'll figure out how to" do something, writes Bouton at one point. "It sounds like a valuable pitching weapon." Do what? Smoke him inside Focus Bean someone and make it look like an accident Zitz a guy

4. What is Joe Schultz's seemingly constant companion whenever Bouton wants to discuss getting more time in the pitching rotation? A liverwurst sandwich A fifth of Jack Daniels A can of tuna fish A goldfish who receives more of Schultz's attention than does Bouton

5. During Bouton's stint in the minors, what form of poisoning does he claim to suffer? Food Mai tai AAArsenic Arm rot

6. What cartoon character impersonation did Marty Pattin frequently draw laughs with? Donald Duck having an orgasm Mickey Mouse talking back to Joe Schultz Porky Pig as an English Lit professor Elmer Fudd explaining how to throw a "cuwve ball"

7. Eddie O'Brien is called "Mr. Small Stuff" because of: His obsession with meaningless matters His batting average as a player His anatomy His bottlecap collection

8. What does Joe Schultz say when he sees a player's wife drinking a Coke? You'll never make it on that, my dear. Can I get you some rum for that, honey? It's the real thing! Hey! When'd they run out of Pepsi?

9. What could be better than a Fourth of July double-header in Kansas City? Everything up to and including a kick in the [rear] Throw in some of that great KC barbeque between games and you're talking! How about a Fourth of July double-header in Kansas City where you're not blown out by the third inning? Oh, death maybe. Or facing Boog Powell three times in one inning

10. Who were George Saviano and Al Gornie? The original batboys for the Seattle Pilots The last two American League batters Bouton faced The founders of the Jim Bouton fan club They both claimed to be married to the same woman

11. What does "ding dong" mean in the book? The sound of the bullpen phone ringing A fan who talks too much and doesn't know what he's talking about A home run A pitched ball hitting the catcher in his protective cup

12. When Mike Hegan is filling out a public relations questionnaire, what is the first answer he proposes to the question "What is the most difficult thing about playing major-league baseball?" Explaining to your wife why *she* needs a penicillin shot for *your* kidney infection Keeping a straight face in my ridiculous uniform Hitting, pitching, running, throwing Answering questions like this

13. At Cafe Bohemia in Washington DC, what did Eddie O'Brien have for dinner? Fried chicken Lambchops Steak Buffalo burger

14. Which of the following is most closely-related to "chin music?" Hose Tweener Purpose pitch Kicks

15. Which player listed below never roomed with Jim Bouton in "Ball Four?" Bob Lasko Mike Marshall Tommy Davis Steve Hovley

16. The Pilots' official team photo was taken between July 25 and July 27. What is one thing below that does NOT help us know this? The Pilots' schedule The scoreboard in the photo Bouton's stories about the photo session The players in the photo

17. What children's TV show did Bouton mention frequently in the book? Captain Video Howdy Doody Tom and Jerry Romper Room

18. During an insult contest, who or what does Merritt Ranew say Fred Talbot looked like? Joe Schultz A plumber A perch Woody Allen

19. Why did baseball players love Washington DC's Shoreham Hotel so much? The room service The location The layout The bar

20. Where was Jim Bouton when he found out he'd been traded to Houston? Baltimore Cleveland Hosting his son's birthday party Chicago

21. What was "Proud to be an Astro?" The Astros' official fight song A raunchy ditty that the Astro players sing A drinking game The title of the last section of "Ball Four"

22. Where did Jim's family live in September 1969 while he was with the Astros? At Astroworld Hotel With his wife's grandfather In the visiting NFL locker room at the Astrodome At a NASA training facility that hadn't been used for two years

23. Jim was traded to Houston for Dooley Womack. How else does Dooley Womack make an appearance in "Ball Four?" The Yankees invented a dance based on Womack's on-field mannerisms He'd get mad when Joe Pepitone would call him "Wooley Domack" He was on the bullpen's "All-Ugly Team" Jim's manager compared him to Dooley Womack after he had a splendid spring training

24. In scolding the team after a sloppy loss, who did Harry Walker say they looked like? Barney Fife Molly Putz Tom Thumb Captain Kangaroo

25. Finish the book as Jim did: "You see, you spend a good piece of your life gripping a baseball..." and then, one pitch and... Ball Four! but then it IS only baseball. Time to move on. but it's baseball that takes a big piece out of you in the end. and in the end it turns out that it was the other way around all the time.