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Absurd French 594

Created by Bruyere

Fun Trivia : Quizzes : French
Absurd French 594 game quiz
"Here's yet another absurd French quiz for those Francophiles at FT. Simply choose the best equivalent in English for the French sentence. After all, how else will you say no to a 500 kilo gorilla"

15 Points Per Correct Answer - No time limit  



1. What is the English equivalent of this sentence?
Non, non et non! ! Tu as beau être un gorille de cent kilos, mais nous ne servons pas le dîner avant sept heures et demie au plus tôt !!
    No, no, no! You are a beautiful five hundred pound gorilla, but, we dine at seven thirty instead!
    No, no, no! You have a beautiful five hundred kilo gorilla there, but we can't give it dinner until seven thirty sharp!
    No, no, no! You may be a beautiful five hundred kilo girl, but, we don't serve dinner until seven thirty at the earliest!
    No, no, no! You may be a one hundred kilo gorilla, but we don't serve dinner till seven thirty at the earliest!


2. Choose the best English equivalent: Alphonse? Pourriez-vous venir m'aider avec ma loutre, s'il vous plait? Elle refuse de sortir de la baignoire.
    Alphonse, could you please come help me with my otter? She refuses to get out of the bathtub.
    Alphonse? There's something rotten in the State of Denmark, don't you think? There must be refuse building up.
    Alphonse, could you please come help me with my mother? She refuses to get out of the bathtub.
    Alphonse? Could you please help me with my fight? It's difficult to get out of the ring.


3. What's the English equivalent of the following sentence? Elle vend des coquillages au bord de la mer.
    She sells seashells by the seashore.
    She sells property by the seashore.
    She makes mistakes when she's on board a boat.
    She picks grapes in the autumn.


4. Lorsque j'ai soulevé le capot de ma voiture, il y avait un serpent à plumes. Je l'ai vite fermé, je me suis passé de l'eau fraîche sur le visage et ensuite, c'était parti quand je suis retourné. Il faut que j'arrête de regarder ces vidéos gags.
    When I lifted up my car's hood, there was a pink plumed cockatoo in there. I quickly plucked it out, put cold water on its face, and then it flew away. I must stop opening the hood without my video camera.
    When I opened my car door, there was a snake in there writing with a quill pen. I quickly closed it, sprayed my face with cold water, and then, it was gone when I returned. I must stop keeping those quill pens in the car.
    When I lifted up my car's hood, there was a feathered serpent in it. I quickly closed it, put cold water on my face, and then it was gone when I went back. I've got to stop watching those home video programs.
    When I lifted up my car's trunk, there was a stuffed snake in there. I quickly closed it, passed the water fountain on my way, and then realized there was a party going on. I must check my calendar more often.


5. J'ai compté un troupeau de moutons hier soir, mais sans aucun succès. Je n'ai pas réussi à dormir. What's the English equivalent?

    I counted a flock of geese last night, but to no avail. I couldn't manage to catch them to make pillows out of them.
    I did my accounts last night for the sheep I sold, but, we didn't succeed this year. It kept me from sleeping.
    I counted a flock of sheep last night, but to no avail. I couldn't manage to get to sleep.
    I saw the Count Troupeau with his sheep last night, but he didn't see me. I couldn't manage to flag him down.


6. Le mystère est où est donc passé le mari de Madame Lupin ? Un jour il promenait leur rhinocéros dans les rosiers, et puis hop, il est parti. What would the English equivalent be?

    The mystery is who is Mrs Lupin's husband? One day he was walking around with roses in his arms and then oops, a rhinoceros was left in his place.
    The mystery is with whom did Mrs Lupin's husband run off? One day he was taking roses to the neighbor with a rhinoceros and then, oops, he was gone.
    The mystery is where did Mrs Lupin's husband go? One day he was walking their rhinoceros in the rose bushes and then oops, he was gone.
    The mystery was who was Mrs Lupin seeing when she disappeared? One day she was walking her husband through the rosebushes, then they were seen with a rhinoceros and ooops, they were gone.


7. Que celui qui a mis le chewing gum sur la chaise de Monsieur Dupin lève la main! Il va falloir chercher des glaçons. English equivalent?
    Anyone with chewing gum under their seats, come see Mr Dupin!
    The one who put the chewing gum on Mr Dupin's chair should raise his or her hand! We'll have to go get some ice cubes.
    What is happening to Mr Dupin's chewing gum is that it is turning blue. He will have to go get us some ice cream now.
    Whosoever placed the gum on Mr Dupin's head get up out of their chair! He will have to replace his toupee.


8. Ma mère a un chihuahua qui joue et chante du Beethoven mais seulement la sonate au clair de lune. Il ne joue pas 'L'Hymne a la joie'. English equivalent 's'il vous plait'.
    My mother has a chinchilla who plays and sings Beethoven but only the Midnight Sonata. He doesn't play the "Ode to Joy".
    My mother is from Chihuahua and she can play and sing Beethoven but only the Midnight Sonata. She cannot play the "Ode to Joy'.
    My mother has a chihuahua who plays and sings Beethoven but only the Moonlight Sonata. He doesn't play the "Ode to Joy".
    My chihuahua's mother can play and sing Beethoven even the Moonlight Sonata. She can't play the 'Ode to Joy.'


9. What is the English equivalent of this sentence? Savez-vous compter les feuilles de chou ou les ecureuils roux?
    Do you know what your stock portfolio in the savings and loan bank?
    Do you know if cabbage leaves can hide red squirrels?
    Do you know if squirrels eat red cabbage leaves?
    Do you know how to count cabbage leaves or red squirrels?


10. Nous serions très heureux de vous inviter à dîner ce soir si seulement notre horoscope nous le permettait. Malheureusement notre lune est en verseau.
    We will be terribly overjoyed to invite you to dine with us tonight if only your horoscope were not in particularly bad aspects: your moon is in Pisces.
    We would be very happy to invite you to dinner tonight if only our horoscope would permit us to do so. Unfortunately, our moon is in Aquarius.
    They would be very happy to invite you to dinner if only your clock weren't set to lunar time and you were unfortunately so late.
    We would be very interested in inviting you to a diner tonight only to do your horoscope with your permission. Unfortunately, it is raining on the moon.


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Compiled Jun 28 12