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Pandas are Evil
"Pandas (better known as "piranhas of the bamboo") are one of the world's most vicious creatures. As Sun Tsu (famous non-panda) wrote, "Know your enemy as well as yourself.""
15 Points Per Correct Answer - No time limit
I know what you're saying. "Pandas aren't evil - they're so cute and cuddly. They've never attacked humans." Is this true?
Which of these weapons does the vicious panda NOT have in its arsenal?
Sharp needle-like teeth
Modified wrist bones
The panda menace once invaded most of Southeast Asia. Currently, the pandas have consolidated their forces and taken what part of China as a stronghold?
Arid areas near Mongolia
Valley areas in Manchuria
Moist areas on the Pacific Coast
Mountainous areas of the South
As part of their diabolical plan to confuse the world, they have created controversy as to what animals they are related to. What are the pandas' closest relatives?
Mongooses and Koalas
Raccoons and Bears
Lemmings and Opossums
Wombats and Lemurs
The panda was noted for its prey stalking ability in 1870 when Alphonse Milne-Edwards named the panda after this accomplished (yet diminutive) hunter.
Which of these social habits do pandas have? - yet again showing their evil nature.
They live in packs where the older pandas continually maul the defenseless cubs.
They are loners and solitary creatures, like so many other serial killers.
Pandas are habitual adulterers with the males cheating on their mates any chance they get.
When they give birth to twins, one of them becomes breakfast for mama panda.
Pandas are facing starvation since they eat only one type of bamboo and that species is due to go dormant in a few years.
The panda is (of course) the personification of a major controversy in the United States today. The two books, "The Panda's Thumb" and "Of Pandas and People", take opposing views on what issue?
Nature preservation vs. Human expansion
Evolution vs. Creationism
Vegetarianism vs. Non-vegetarianism
Pro-life vs. Pro-choice
The panda is infamous for clearcutting the bamboo forests in China. Coincidentally, this organization adopted the panda as its logo and advocates the logging of Tasmanian old-growth forests.
World Wildlife Fund
How are pandas classified by their eating habits (not their Linnaean classification)?
Vegetarians. Given half a chance they'd eat up the Amazon rain forest.
Cannibals. The only good thing about a panda is that they kill and eat each other.
Carnivores. The more cute and helpless an animal is, the tastier the panda finds it.
Omnivores. They'll shove anything into their slobbering maws.
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Compiled Dec 19 13