1. Often times my wife and I will give each other a massage when one of us may be feeling sore or just a little down. The only draw back to this is that my favorite place to get a massage is a place where my wife hates to touch and has a fear of. What is the condition of "fear of feet" that my wife has called? podophobia pedophobia feetophobia papaphobia

2. Now it's time to get a little deeper into the characteristics of my wife. Generally my wife will go to the salon about once a month to get unwanted facial hair removed. What is the growing of hair in places where hair is not usually found on a woman called? propecism hirsutism fu manchuism man hair syndrome

3. My wife cannot always wear the color black when she wants to. What is the condition where dead skin cells shed from the head called? dandruff ketoconazole lice nastiness

4. After I joined the U.S. Navy and graduated from boot camp, my wife (then my girlfriend) decided to get a belly button ring because I thought they were sexy. Unfortunately she found out the hard way that she is allergic to nickel. What is the periodic table of the elements symbol for nickel? Nk Ne Ni Nc

5. Talk about scary; a tapeworm can grow up to 59 feet long while living inside of the human body. The dermatobia hominis, or bot fly, can actually lay an egg on the human skin and body heat will make it hatch. These kind of things strike fear in my wife. What is the term for the fear of parasites? Paraphobia Parasitophobia Parthenophobia Pterononphobia

6. Ok, enough of the nasty things, lets talk about something funny. My wife loves movie musicals. One particular cheesy movie musical she loves was made in 2001 and is about Satine and Christian, played by Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor. In what movie musical does Christian, a poet, fall in love with Satine, a cabaret singer? Cabaret Moulin Rouge Chicago Newsies

7. I don't really understand why my wife has such an obsession with any film that Ewan McGregor has starred in, but she has made me sit though such films as "The Pillow Book", "Velvet Goldmine" and "Down with Love". My thought is that it has something to do with his accent. What country was Ewan McGregor born in? Scotland England Ireland Spain

8. My wife's taste in wine is not all that great. In fact, she prefers a bottle of this cheap wine to a nice bottle of Merlot or Sauvignon Blanc. What is the brand name of the flavored apple wine product with the flavors Snow Creek Berry, Strawberry Hill and Sun Peak Peach? Mad Dog 20/20 Boone's Farm Steel Reserve Olde English 800

9. My wife's feet smell really bad. It doesn't matter if she wears three pairs of socks or if she puts a Dr. Scholl's Odor Destroyers insole in her shoe, they still reek. What kind of cheese does the odor producing bacteria Brevibacteria smell like? Limburger Cheddar American Cottage

10. Although my wife sometimes stinks up our house with her putrid feet or she worries of parasites living in our meat. When giving her a massage, I don't wear a glove because my wonderful wife is the one that I will forever ____. Answer: (One Word, Rhymes with Glove)