Trivial Job Interview

15 Points Per Correct Answer - No time limit  

1. Alas! The time has come for another job interview. You assumed that it would be time to take a change from your boring, menial job, but after realizing that demand is no longer what it used to be for over-the-top, risky occupations, you're back to fight for a paper-clip-counting desk job at a new office. Before you go in for your interview, you recall your earlier plans to use carabiners on buttresses. What type of job could you have wanted with that idea in your head? Proctologist High-Rise Window Washer Skydiver Rock Climbing Instructor

2. The interviewer steps outside the office and calls your name. Quickly, you rise from your seat and shake her hand, saying it's nice to meet her. She has you come into her office and you hold the door for her (to make a good impression, of course). As she walks behind her desk, she asks you to take a seat in the 'vermilion' chair. You twinge for a moment as you realize that there are three different coloured chairs in front of the desk. Which one do you sit in? The red one The green one The blue one None of these; you decide to take her seat

3. After you sit down, the interviewer says that you'll begin by telling her about yourself. You decide to go into your hobbies, and then you decide to tell her that you once lived next door to 'that figure skater who got silver in the Nagano Olympics'. The interviewer is surprised, asking if you are referring to Tara Lipinski. Who were you really referring to? Michelle Kwan Sarah Hughes Kristi Yamaguchi Oksana Baiul

4. Next, the interviewer asks if you have had any previous job experience, to which you reply: yes. You can never forget the past eight years of office work, no matter how dull. You also make note of the fact that you know BASIC. She says it's not required, but it's nice to know. What is BASIC? A Contract Procedure used by Law Firms A Universal Filing System A Computer Programming Language A World-Famous Motivational Speaker

5. "Where do you see yourself in two years?" the interviewer asks. You'd hate to tell her your real feelings, but you say that you see yourself advancing through the ranks. Goals are important to you. It's then that you think of the Dakar Rally... probably not the best thing to put in your mind at the time. Is Dakar most commonly regarded as the finish line for the rally? Yes No

6. "For your job," she says, "you'll be required to do a fair bit of running around, usually for other people... copies, appointments, getting lunch. Would you be opposed to this?" You say that it's fine. You really want to promote teamwork and build strong, reliable bonds with other members of the staff. She seems pleased by your answer. You can't help but think however, of "Pac-Man", what with the running around and eating objects. Of course, Pac-Man did it for personal gain; you just want the job. You remember and ponder the question: How many dots does Pac-Man need to eat in order to advance to the next stage of the game? None of them All of them Seven-eighths of them Three quarters of them

7. "What are your hours of availability?" she asks. Quickly, you say that you're available anytime, but you would enjoy a good 9-to-5 job. She also asks if you would be opposed to working overtime. After you say no, that gets you thinking about a certain song in your head. Which song discussed 'working overtime' in its lyrics? "I've Been Working on the Railroad" - American Folk Song "Takin' Care of Business" - Bachman Turner Overdrive "Money" - Pink Floyd "Five O'Clock World" - The Vogues

8. "Your job," the interviewer continues, "could mean long hours away from home. You could be traveling all around North America." You aren't too concerned by this. It might be nice to see new places. You ask where and she quickly names off a few major cities that have been impacting the company. You think for a minute and realize that only one of the places she mentioned is real. Which place could you actually visit during your employment? Castle Rock, Maine Glastenbury, Vermont Innsmouth, Massachusetts Stoneybrook, Connecticut

9. "How committed are you to being a team player?" she asks. You dread this question. You find that your work gets done best when you are the one responsible. "I manage," you reply (noting the double entendre). "I'm not opposed to a team environment, in fact, I'm actually good in a team setting. I just happen to adapt well to whatever situation is thrown at me. I used to play on various sports teams." "Oh really," she replies. "What did you play?" "Croquet, mostly." Has Croquet ever been an Olympic sport? Yes No

10. The interviewer stands at her desk and holds out her hand for you to shake it. Politely, you do. "I have a good feeling about you," she says. "I'd like you to start on Secretary's Day." As you leave, you ask yourself. When is your first day of work? Sunday Wednesday Monday Friday