1. "--- on me, if you will; but, don't try to tell me it's -------." Fill in the blanks. "Pee" and "raining" "Hit" and "you're single" "Kiss" and "True Love" "Tell my Mama" and "for my own good"

2. What do we mean when we say Girlfriend is ?tukey? ?tookie? ?tukie? or ?tookey?? She is peculiar. She has two cars, ergo two keys. She is keyed up and nervous. She is extremely particular.

3. Girlfriend exclaims, ?That looks like Fido!? What does she mean? That looks like my boyfriend, Fido! That dog looks just like my dog, Fido! That's just plain tacky! That doghouse looks just perfect for my dog, Fido!

4. Girlfriend-1 says to Girlfriend-2, ?Don?t get your honey where you get your money!? What is this admonishment? Don?t date men with whom you work. Don?t let your boyfriend handle all that money your Mama left you, even if he is a stockbroker. Avoid picking up men at the casino in Biloxi. Don?t use the ATM down at the Piggly Wiggly.

5. Girlfriend-1 says to Girlfriend-2, ?Your dumplin?s are boilin? over.? What are we trying to tell her? The stove is too hot and her chicken and dumplin?s are cookin? too fast Her neckline is low, and much too revealing. She is overworked. Her secrets are known.

6. Girlfriend tells you, ?I feel like I?ve been dragged through -----, and beat over the head with a soot bag!? What's the word we're looking for? Hades Birmingham Wal-Mart A junkyard

7. What does Girlfriend mean when she says, "He was raised on a stump"? He grew like a bad weed. He was elevated to sainthood. He was not raised right. He was publicly humiliated.

8. ?He must have something under the hood,? is a cryptic communication about why Girlfriend is dating this boy. What does it mean? He?s running on all eight cylinders. He must have more money than he lets on. He must possess prowess and skills in the romance department. He must be smarter than he looks.

9. Girlfriend says to a man, ?Well, let me go to my purse and get you a dime!? What does she mean? She wants him to fetch her a gumball from yonder machine. He needs money real bad. He stated an obvious truth in a condescending pompous way, as though it was so obscure that she could not possibly figure it out herself. She?ll pay for the Bombay Sapphire Martinis Very Dry Up With a Twist, because she sure as heck is not going home with this particular boy!

10. What does Girlfriend mean when she says her Man is a "bank-walker"? He is a guard in a bank, and walks the lobby constantly He is justifiably proud of his body. Having just walked out of the bank, he is loaded with cash. He is destined to be president of the bank, and is progressing toward that end.