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Burn the Witch
Thematic 10Q Average
"I'm trying to get hold of a copy of 'Burn the Witch', but I can't be speaking too clearly as everyone seems to be misunderstanding me. Can you work out what's going on?"
15 Points Per Correct Answer - No time limit
The first person that I speak to seems to think that I'm trying to 'earn the flitch' and explains to me what should be done - apparently, "in twelvemonth and a day" a married couple must swear, that awake or asleep, they have "not wish't themselves unmarried again". A tough call, eh? This takes place periodically in the town of Great Dunmow in Essex. What do you win?
The freedom of the town
A free divorce
A side of bacon
A thousand pounds
The next person I speak to appears to think that I am saying 'fern the bitch' and eagerly tries to sell me the book 'Where the Red Fern Grows'. With apologies for turning the noun into a verb, what is the name of the bitch (female dog) whose grave was 'ferned'?
Unfortunately the next person I speak to seems to think that I have begun to 'gurn and twitch' and advises me to consult a doctor immediately as I have obviously been taking the drug MDMA. What is 3,4-Methylenedioxymethamphetamine more commonly known as?
The next person seems to believe that I want to 'turn to rich' and starts telling me a cautionary tale about some king who wanted to turn everything he touched to gold - what is the name of this king?
The next person I talk to, even though I speak as clearly as possible, seems to think that I want to 'learn to skritch'. Which famous beagle enjoyed being 'skritched' on the head by his master, who he referred to as 'the round-headed kid'?
Not again! This time someone thinks I need to 'turn a hitch'. Given that a hitch is a sort of knot used to tie a rope to something else, can you spot the hitch that I have made up?
I'm still not getting anywhere - the next person I talk to seems to think I am confirming directions somewhere and agrees that I should 'turn at the lych'. What, in Britain, is a lych gate the traditional entrance to?
A sports stadium
A post office
I just can't be speaking clearly enough. The next person thinks I am asking how to 'earn a stitch'! What is not likely to be a cause of a side (or anywhere else) stitch when exercising?
Contraction of the spleen or liver
Exercising on a Sunday
Insufficient warm up
At last someone understands the first word - admittedly they think I want to 'burn the snitch', but it's progress of a sort. In the unlikely event that I did want to burn a snitch, what would I not be setting fire to?
The golden object that has to be caught in a game of Quidditch
A baked custard in a pastry dish
At last, someone who understands that what I want to purchase a song! The trouble is, I've been on the telephone so long that I've forgotten which artist(s) sang 'Burn the Witch'...please can you tell me?
Kings of Leon
Queens of the Stone Age
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Compiled Jun 28 12