'Making Money' by Terry Pratchett Quiz

Answer: Golems

Yes, real ancient golems, built by golems. At one point it is thought they are made of gold. Dwarfs are traditionally miners, but so far Terry hasn't concerned himself with things vermian in Discworld.

Answer: Trying to break into his own Post Office

Moist is bored, Adora Belle is away, so he's keeping his hand in by reverting to his old habits. He still has his wonderful gold suit, and he still designs stamps. He doesn't get the chance to really make money until he meets Lord Vetinari.

Answer: The Dyslectic Alphabet Killer

According to Vetinari, the editor of the 'Tanty Bugle' appeared to think that it was 'not a proper crime unless someone is found in three alleys at once' and Moist (as Albert Spangler) had not been hanged for murder - of course, he hadn't been hanged at all. You may recognise the real murderers I distorted for the wrong answers.

Answer: They're made of gold

Ankh-Morpork has gold-ish coins, not gold ones. They had to stop making gold ones, because of nefarious practices like 'clipping and sweating'. Mr Shady describes the mites as the really hard ones to make. (Not his actual words, but paraphrased for a family-friendly site!)

Answer: A jammy dodger

She also calls him a thief, a trickster and a liar and says that she wouldn't trust Moist with a bucket of water if her 'knickers were on fire'. Despite this she still likes him! For the benefit of the biscuit-ly (or cookie-ly) challenged, a jammy dodger is a much-loved biscuit in the UK, consisting of two biscuits sandwiched together with chewy jam (jelly) and (in the better biscuits) a sort of cream.

The top biscuit has a hole so you can see the jam. Sometimes the hole is heart-shaped, but this is not compulsory.

Answer: Yes

It was said that '...they had been born with their little hands around one another's throats, like true Lavishes'. The other main Lavish players were Topsy's brother-in-law Marko Lavish and his wife Capricia Lavish.

Answer: Mr Fusspot

Mr Fusspot, who is part Spoondog with a lot of different fathers and who Moist thinks is the world's ugliest dog, is the new owner with 51% of the shares. Unfortunately for Moist, he is Mr. Fusspot's new owner (and the new Master of the Mint). But the chairman goes 'Woof'. Malvolio Bent is the chief clerk and is a man with a secret.

Answer: Breaks out into a nasty rash

Aimsbury can handle garlic, he can even eat it, but the sound of the word makes him do all the wrong answers. Hence his lofty position as canine chef, as he's not likely to hear it from his diner! He has written a book, 'Cooking with Brains'.

Answer: Extremely pecunious

The youth, who worked the steam clean and stretching machine, had previously been impecunious. When Cranberry found out about this episode, the young man had died in a 'drunken brawl' the next night, short of money and even shorter of breath. Cranberry claimed it had been a fair fight, but Heretofore wondered how much being very drunk with a small knife counted against a professional killer...

Answer: gargoyle

The picture that this conjured up made me laugh out loud! Gargoyles are downspouts on (mostly) historic buildings and are notoriously ugly. Notre Dame cathedral in Paris has some excellent examples. Mr Fusspot does play with a marital aid later in the book, with Hilarious Consequences.

Answer: Nose and ear wigs

Spectacles were an obvious choice. Moist didn't like moustaches, as they could come off with a tug - presumably so could a nose or ear wig, but not many people would like to try this!

Answer: The Man In The Pub

How many people have given you information as Gospel, and it turns out they 'heard it from a man in a pub'? The Man On The Clapham Omnibus is an expression supposed to represent the average man - particularly a voter. Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells is the sort of person who writes to the newspapers about things he doesn't approve of and Steven Hawking, author of 'A Brief History of Time' is probably a good bet as one of the 'most knowledgable of beings' in Roundworld today.

Answer: Pedals

Dr Hicks apologised afterwards and explained he had two left feet sometimes.

Answer: Cigarette smoke

Unfortunately, when Moist prayed to her, Spike had spent more than ten minutes in the room, so it smelt of cigarette smoke already and Moist didn't know if his prayer had been granted. However, the ladle had unstuck from the drawer, which Moist took as a Good Sign.

Answer: He was a clown

Both Moist and Miss Drapes thought they'd worked out Mr Bent's secret (leading to Miss Drapes wearing a necklace of garlic when she next talked to him), but he was actually a clown. He got over it eventually, but not before trying to hit Vetinari with a custard pie - which would have been his last act had he managed it. I hope you've enjoyed my fiftieth quiz!