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Subject: Lesley is here now.

Posted by: lesley153
Date: Nov 09 09

I'd always thought that once you got a blog you had a blog in perpetuity, and could continue to add to it, whether you were a paying member or not. That may have been right at one time, but it isn't now.

I wrote an update yesterday, a few hours after I'd had an email to tell me that my paying membership had expired, and got an "access denied" message. I thought it was a shame to waste it. Off I go...

6100 replies. 1 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 305

Professer

Gary, please let me know how you get on with the rubber hammer. Or would a new friend be more useful?

Is that a offer Lesley? I am sure the person who suggested rubber hammer was joking.

Last night was in bed at 10:10, fell asleep woke uo thinking id been asleep for ages looked at clock was 12:15.

Oh well rubber hammer may have to be used lol

Reply #81. Nov 17 09, 10:04 AM

lesley153

I reckon your friend was joking too - but sometimes we get so desperate we'll consider anything. I hope we never have to consider hitting ourselves!

Reply #82. Nov 17 09, 10:19 AM

lesley153

My sister-in-law got the results of her mammogram today, and my No2 niece got the results of her genes test - both negative. Only eight more children who may or may not want to get genetic testing.

Alternatively, my bro and SIL could go for genetic testing - it's only a blood test - and they have a phone number and reference which would get them fast-tracked into the test system. If by a miracle they both came back negative, it would save eight offspring going for the test. My SIL got a letter offering her the test and she screamed, tore it up and threw it in the bin. She got a reminder, missed out the screaming, and just binned it. I don't know if my brother even knows about this - I suspect that he doesn't - but we do know that he won't do anything, even if he knows.

When my SIL was waiting for her results, one of the things she said was "if God wants me to live..." My bro seems to have the same attitude. It means that you never have to take responsibility for anything, or to put yourself out for your children, because their time will be up when it's up too. My son regards knowledge as strength. They would rather bury their head in the sand than know, because knowing would mean a big shadow hanging over the rest of your life. Hang on - isn't ignorance an even bigger sgadow?

Reply #83. Nov 17 09, 4:07 PM

longcoolwoman2

My parents were both of the school "what we don't know won't hurt us." Having tended to both of them before they passed away, I always wondered how much of their suffering could have been eased had they taken better care of themselves.

Reply #84. Nov 17 09, 4:39 PM

lesley153

Quite a lot of it, I expect.

I wouldn't be surprised if my No1 niece could have had less radical surgery if she had been prepared and aware, and worked out what was going on even a little earlier.

Not long after I was told that I had diabetes, and realised that my bro was as much at risk as I was, we were visiting them and I told him that I had my blood testing kit with me, and offered to test his blood sugar. No thanks, he said. His wife's more at risk than he is - there's a lot of it in her family. I asked my SIL if she'd like me to do hers. No thanks, she said, she's OK - but she's very worried about my bro. Test his.

People have the right to make their own minds up what they do for themselves, but I can't understand why my bro and SIL are unwilling to give a sample of blood for a test which could benefit all their children. I wonder if they even need to know the results. They may be able to give the blood sample then step back and authorise the testers to give the results to their children. At least, that's what I was wondering out loud while I was talking to No2 niece this evening. Obviously they're frightened but there are more frightening things than knowledge. Like a positive diagnosis.

Reply #85. Nov 17 09, 7:53 PM

lesley153

Maybe the most frightening thing of all is taking responsibility?

Reply #86. Nov 17 09, 7:54 PM

bionic4ever

That, and facing the unknown.

Reply #87. Nov 17 09, 8:28 PM

lesley153

You're right, Beth. The unknown is the scariest.

Reply #88. Nov 17 09, 8:43 PM

lesley153

I hate builders. Really. I didn't hate builders, but I do now.

I didn't realise till the couple next door decided to build an extension. They showed me the plans and I wished them well and said it would be a brilliant change to the house. No, I don't like noise but this would be functional noise and it wouldn't last for ever.

Gratuitous noise is much worse. The man who lived there before had a couple of hand-knitted sports cars. When he checked the oil, which he did regularly and frequently, he needed a warm engine, which meant running the engine for at least five minutes. Sometimes it was five minutes, and sometimes it was five minutes plus a cigarette and a phone call. Meanwhile, I am deaf and all my windows are shaking. My suggestion that running the car on the road for five minutes would spare my ears and windows, and be much more fun for him, was met with much eye-rollage and incredulous laughter. But I digress.

Here come the builders, parking wherever they feel like it. If I want to go for a drive, I emerge onto a B road just by a blind bend, with most of their vans parked outside my house, and I just have to hope I stay alive. And they do all their noisiest work at around 8am. I have heard hammer to scaffolding at 7.30. They beat the living daylights out of the masonry, cut piles of roof tiles, and disappear at 9am. Today they were banging from 8.30 till 1pm, and then they were off - O bliss - for the weekend, with luck. No, they were back at 3.30 till it got dark.

I am now wondering if builders are born terminally selfish, and that's what attracts them to the industry, or if they start out normal and gradually morph into thoughtless pigs.

In fact, I even wonder sometimes if they're human. Over the last couple of months, I've had my doubts. I wouldn't be surprised if they're really stumpy little hobbity creatures from Middle Earth, who learn to look and sound like humans when they emerge to work. Something like these strange, subterranean creatures:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vk10Q4UoQCk&NR=1

Reply #89. Nov 20 09, 6:54 PM

veronikkamarrz

With the possible exception of "Bob the Builder" friend of children everywhere, builders and contractors are notoriously evil! They make promises they can't keep, and worst of all for neighbors, they're rude, and noisy.

Earplugs, and cautious driving are the only advice. Oh, and of course a timely end to the project...Ha! ;)

Reply #90. Nov 20 09, 8:22 PM

satguru

Oh dear, how long has it taken me to find this? I noticed the absence of the star but only just put 2+2 together. I really think there should have been a link at the top of the homepage: quizzes games people services me Lesley's blog, but got here in the end. I'll keep up now.

Reply #91. Nov 24 09, 2:53 PM

lesley153

Sorry, David. I promise not to disappear again. Do you think Terry would add another tab if we asked nicely?

The last few days have been a bit irritating, but shouldn't be too difficult to resolve, as long as I can get intelligent people answering the phone at the hospital.

Last year, I went for my first retinal screening. The camera wasn't working very well, and they kept me back for another go. That's better, it worked this time, go home, results in the post in 5-6 weeks. A couple of weeks later, they wrote and said that the camera hadn't got complete images and would I come back for them to do it again, with a slit lamp this time. I have to do this journey by taxi because they put drops in which dilate my pupils till my irises disappear, so I can't (mustn't) drive till the drops wear off, which takes about six hours. The slit lamp worked, my eyes were OK, come back for more of the same in a year's time.

This year they sent me an appointment for a screening. Ten minutes with the camera, go home and wait for results. This time it took them about three days to write and say come again for another attempt with Different Equipment. Next year I shall phone first. No point having two appointments every year, which is what I can see happening.

I've also had a follow-up appointment at Haematology booked for months. It was to be yesterday at noon - perfect - I can do that. Their letter was franked and delivered with the other letter - they've put it off from 12 o'clock on Tuesday to 9.45 on Thursday. Hollow laughter at the thought of being anywhere but bed at 9.45 am. The only saving grace is that the letter says it's a very busy clinic so I must be prepared for delays in being seen. Even worse - they haven't said anything, but I bet they're expecting me to roll up half an hour or an hour early for blood tests. Think I'd better phone them!

I have a couple of concerts to go to - Jonathan's playing in a college orchestra on Friday, and Emma Johnson is doing a recital in Bedford on Saturday. But the assignation that's going to be the most fun is going to Stanmore on Sunday, to retrieve something from the flat that belonged to my uncle who died in March. My mother said she loved him, because he was her brother, but she didn't like or respect him, and I don't think I've ever met anyone more unreliable, untrustworthy, cowardly, and manipulative. The more I heard and learnt about him, the less I wanted to do with him, and I shouldn't have to go there at all on Sunday. Making arrangements for this is bringing back memories of all his execrable behaviour over the years. More about that when my blood pressure's gone down a bit.

Reply #92. Nov 24 09, 7:48 PM

lesley153

Well, that was easy!

I rang Haematology, to ask for a later appointment, and also to ask if the fact that blood tests weren't mentioned meant that I didn't need one.

Twelve o'clock yesterday would have been OK, 9.45 tomorrow is too early. Sorry, I can't do it.
What time would you like?
A good time would be... 4pm.
Aah - we don't do afternoon clinics. Our latest appointment is midday. Would you like to come at 12 tomorrow?
Yes please.
Come at 12 for your blood test, and you'll talk to someone at about 1pm.
That would have been my next question - do I need a blood test - because there's nothing in either of the letters.
You *always* need a blood test.

Then I rang about the retinal screening.

I said I'd made two trips last year, and will be making two this year. I hate paying cab fares but the drain on NHS resources, having an appointment which is as good as guaranteed to be a waste of time, must be huge - much more than a couple of cab fares. Is there a way to mark my file so I can skip the Camera appointment, and go straight to the Slit Lamp?

I learnt that I am not alone. There are a lot of people like me, and they are in the process of persuading the powers that be to invest in a third clinic we can go to, so we need go only once. Like everything in the NHS, it takes time, and the powers that be take a lot of persuading that the investment will be worth it. Talks are going on now, and the new arrangement is expected to be in place in time for my return in a year's time.

Sorted. :)

Reply #93. Nov 25 09, 5:48 AM

Professer

Well done Lesley for sorting that will be a lot easier for you.

I am not surprised about the hematology department at the hospital, as not only do they have to deal with out paitients but they also deal with in patients, it is one of the busiest hospital departments busier in my view then xray.

Last time i was there myself went at 9am was 12 am before i got seen. Hope the results are what you want.

Reply #94. Nov 25 09, 6:06 AM

lesley153

Thanks, Gary. It's just for monitoring, but you never know, they may have some bright ideas they didn't have last time I went. If it takes forever, I shall just go and get food.

And I'll try and remember to take a book this time. Hospital reading tends to be old car magazines, dog-eared copies of National Geographic, and celebrity-worship mags. Sob.

Reply #95. Nov 25 09, 6:52 PM

veronikkamarrz

Always take a book! Any 'appointment' is sure to have waiting time. You should have reading material of your own choosing. I keep a book in my bag at all times. Doesn't matter what it is. Surprise is good, and it's mine!

Happy to hear your vision screening turned out well.

Have fun at Jonathan and Emma's concerts!

Reply #96. Nov 25 09, 9:04 PM

lesley153

That was fun. The Haematologist gave me a lot more information, all of it interesting, none of it casting any light on what's happening. He did go back to the results of my CT scan, which said that I have scoliosis (I knew that), and that my kidneys and pancreas all appeared to be perfectly normal (I was pleased to hear that).

His own opinion is that my breathing difficulty is partly all the years I smoked (I stopped in 1996) coming back to bite me on the bum: and partly my scoliosis stopping my chest expanding as much as it otherwise might. He asked if I had a peak flow thingy, and was open-mouthed with amazement when I said no, the only person who had ever given me a peak flow thingy was him.

All the clever-clogs specialist tests my GP has sent me for have come back negative. This is good news for me, but also a huge waste of my time and NHS resources. If something looks like a horse and sounds like a horse, how do I persuade my GP that it's a horse - not Pegasus? I think I want a new one, please. GP, not horse.

Reply #97. Nov 26 09, 3:49 PM

longcoolwoman2

I am glad, Lesley, that your tests seem to have went well. Now, if we can just get you more sleep!

Reply #98. Nov 26 09, 4:27 PM

lesley153

Thank you! and yes please, if you can do that, I'll be yours forever.

Actually, there was a glimmer of hope this morning - I slept for five hours. I remember waking up after two, but only for a minute or so, which is normal, and so much better than the two hours it's been taking me recently.

There's not much a good night's sleep won't help!

Reply #99. Nov 26 09, 4:57 PM

Professer

Same here Lesley, but saying that i did somehow manage 6 hours unbroken sleep maybe due to fact i took some pain relief last night.had a wasted trip to the doctors today will mail you about that later.

Reply #100. Nov 27 09, 12:46 PM

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