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Which of these mnemonic devices is most accurate in naming our first five presidents?

Will Alfred Jump Mortimer's Monkey?. A mnemonic device, for those of you who don't know, is something that helps a person remember something. For instance, 'Every good boy does fine', to help us remember the notes on the bar lines of a treble clef. Our first five presidents were George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, and James Monroe, in that order. 'Will Alfred Jump Mortimer's Monkey?' 'Washington Adams Jefferson Madison Monroe.'

Which of these presidents once had a chandelier removed from the presidential study and placed in the vice president's office, claiming, 'He doesn't have anything to do, it will keep him awake'?

Theodore Roosevelt. Theodore Roosevelt was one of my personal favorite presidents. He was a firebrand of a speaker, with a strong sense of humor not often seen in such a high-ranking position as president.

Which of these men has actually run for the presidency?

Joe Walsh. Joe Walsh, guitarist for the Eagles, as well as an immense solo success, was a bit of a bizarre fellow. One of his campaign slogans was 'Free gas for everyone!' Not surprisingly, he lost both his first run for office as well as another attempt at holding an office in the executive branch: vice president. The catch was that he did not have a running mate for president, so again, he lost.

Which of these television shows has NEVER made fun of Ross Perot?

Alf. The obvious answer here, of course, is 'Alf'. After all, the show ran in the eighties, whereas Ross Perot gained 'popularity' in the 1990s. So, what about those parodies? 'All That', a popular kid's variety show, had Ross Perot (played by a little girl whose name escapes me) regularly featured in a skit called 'Earboy'. Perot, who constantly claimed that he 'has four billion dollars', taught Earboy how to dance, helped him start a trend in food, and did many other zany things. On the Jon Lovitz cartoon 'The Critic', Perot was featured as a pizza boy, showing just how miserably he lost the election (as if he even had a chance...) And, if you have seen 'Saturday Night Live', there's no need for me to explain how they make fun of Mr. Perot.

One of the members of the Wonders (formerly the Oneders, see 'That Thing You Do') referred to a particular group of objects as 'presidential flashcards'. To what was he referring?

Money. Obviously enough, the face of a president is on most pieces of legal tender that exists. Therefore, by 'presidential flashcards', our little buddy from 'That Thing You Do' was referring to a huge wad of cash being handed to him...

To which president did Forrest Gump show his 'million dollar wound'?

Lyndon B. Johnson. To quote the song 'Gump' by Alfred Yankovic, 'He went to the White House, showed LBJ his butt!'

On which late night television show did Bill Clinton show off his talent with the saxophone?

The Arsenio Hall Show. Of course, I used the word 'talent' very loosely in the question, but I'm sure you already knew that.

Which of these is the proper spelling of the word which was sometimes used by the media to describe Ronald Reagan's 'Star Wars Plan'?

vacuous. 'Vacuous' (meaning 'stupid') is the proper spelling. ex: Reagan announced his vacuous Star Wars Plan in the heyday of his administration.

Which of these is not an actual verbal gaffe of President George W. Bush?

What did Lincoln do anyway, besides invent a really neat car?. All of the aforementioned quotes are true except the Lincoln one. That's from the book 'W: the First Hundred Days, a White House Journal', a completely fictional account of Dubbya's first hundred days.

Lyndon Johnson, at one point or another, wanted to encourage immigration into the United States. What did the Smothers Brothers suggest he do to get an influx of people into the country?

Quit. Obviously, the Smothers Brothers did not encourage Lyndon B. Johnson's continued presidency.