Special Sub-Topic: Terry Pratchett's Igors - What Goes Around... Click Here To Play: Terry Pratchett's Igors - What Goes Around...

Where did the Duke of Ankh-Morpork meet his first Igor, in 'The Fifth Elephant'?

The Ankh-Morporkian Consulate in Bonk. Hence Igor's first words to Sam (the Duke) 'Good evening, marthterth, mithreth...Welcome to Ankh-Morpork'. Although they meet in Bonk, it is technically Ankh-Morpork territory. Sybil thinks Igor is 'a fine figure of a man'; Sam replies 'More than one man, by the look of him'.

From 'The Fifth Elephant'; who would have paid good money to have Igor pronounce sausages?

People in drought-stricken areas. He pronounces it 'thauthageth'. Try saying it out loud...now wipe your monitor screen!

When Vimes visited Lady Margolotta in 'The Fifth Elephant' and the door was opened by an Igor, how did Sam realise it wasn't the same Igor he had met previously at the Consulate?

The second Igor's eyes were both the same colour and his scars were different. The Igor Sam had first met was this one's cousin. It is here that Sam learns that all the family is called Igor ('It avoidth confuthion') and that everyone who is anyone in Uberwald has a servant called Igor.

When Sam met the third Igor in Uberwald at the Baron's Castle in 'The Fifth Elephant', what did he ask Sam to take back to the First Igor?

A hand (wrapped in ice to 'keep it nithe and freth'). 'He athked me if I could lend him a hand'. This is where Sam learns (from Cheery) that Igors fulfill a function, and that people in Uberwald are always happy to donate bits of themselves to Igors in their wills, so they can be used on the living. Igors think that 'putting bodieth in the ground ith rather gruethome. All thothe wormth and thingth'.

The first Igor patched up Tantony (fleth woundth) and Carrot (broken arm) in 'The Fifth Elephant' and went off to join the Ankh-Morpork City Watch.

f. The first Igor (Igor at the embassy) was killed by Wolfgang, although having given away his liver, brain, right hand, various entrails, left eye, right knee and hip joints on his death bed, no doubt he would be soon 'be up on someone else's feet'. His nephew (Igor!) goes to work in Ankh-Morpork as Sam has seen how useful they can be.

In 'The Fifth Elephant', what is not one of the things that Igor (the nephew) took to Ankh-Morpork?

His uncle's hands. 'Bio-artificing for the next century, thur. None of that out-moded cutting up of old bodies'. His father thinks him useless, as he's got a speech impediment (doesn't lisp enough) and doesn't consider him 'worth breaking down for thpareth'. Vimes, however, is open-minded enough to take a nose-breeder 'in exchange for surgery that didn't include screaming and buckets of boiling pitch'. Oh, and he's got his grandfather's hands!

In 'The Truth' we met Igor of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, who had a tank full of swimming potatoes. What was he trying to invent?

Instant fish and chips. Igor's a bio-artificer and is trying to breed instant fish and chips. We also learn he has a quiff that could put a man's eye out and two thumbs on his right hand.

In 'Carpe Jugulum', what did the Magpyrs tell their Igor to take off the coach as they drove to Lancre?

The black plumes. The Magpyrs are very modern vampires, which is anethema to Igors, who are very traditional! Igor longs for the old Count, who was a gentleman.

Which one of the witches did Igor in 'Carpe Jugulum' take a shine to?

Nanny Ogg. When Nanny warns Igor that if he hasn't been straight with them, she'll have his guts for garters, he murmurs 'Oh, that'th more than a man could pothibly hope for'.

What did the uncle Igor of Igor in 'Carpe Jugulum' die of?

Buffaloeth. 'A herd fell on him. A freak acthident. We don't talk about it'. This is where we learn Igors also do surgery on themselves, with someone to put a finger on the knots. It isn't painful - the Igor 'alwayth tell them to take it away jutht before they pull the thtring tight'.

What was Igor's pet called in 'Carpe Jugulum'?

Thcrapth. Some of him is 78 years old! He's 'several dogs rolled into one' and just a big softy - either wagging people to death or drowning them in slobber. He's also happy as dog with two tails, as Igor had one spare. He doesn't so much 'play dead' as remember!

Igor's pet was killed in 'Carpe Jugulum'. Why did Death let him get reanimated by Igor and go back?

It looked as though it was the only way Death would get his scythe back. Won't stop playing 'Fetch' with Death's scythe, so although Death normally disapproves of this sort of thing (reanimation, things returning from the dead), he wants his scythe back!

How did the Igor in 'Thief of Time' arrive at Jeremy's workshop?

In a wooden crate, posted by express package. Eight days from Uberwald with no problems, then they left him upside down on the doorstep!

The Igor in 'Thief of Time' was part of 'We R Igors'. What was their c-mail (Clacks) address?

Yethmarthter Uberwald. They're based at The Old Rathaus, Bad Schuschein.

Who was not one of the former employers of Jeremy's Igor in 'Thief of Time'?

Mad Lord Snapcase. A certain thread runs through here. Mad Lord Snapcase, though possibly a suitable employer for an Igor, was a former Patrician of Ankh-Morpork. Jeremy, on the other hand, carries a piece of paper that says he's not insane! Something wrong here, I suspect! I hope you enjoyed this Igor quiz - please let me know if you'd like to hear more about these fascinating characters.