Absurd Italian 506

15 Points Per Correct Answer - No time limit  

1. Mi scusi Signora, ma c'e un coccodrillo nella Sua valigia. Excuse the lady, but she's got a coconut in her vest. Excuse me Madame, but there's a crocodile in your suitcase. Excuse me Madam, but there's a coconut in your suitcase. Excuse the lady but there's an oil rig in front of her window.

2. La notte, vedrete un centinaio di pipistrelli nel cielo dalla vostra finestra. At night, you'll see hundreds of stars in the sky from your window. At night, you'll see about a hundred bats in the sky from your window. At night, you'll see hundred year olds run to the lavatories in the gardens. At night, you'll see a hundred owls in the sky.

3. Lo scimpanze voleva unirsi alla squadra di calcio. The scampi is very good with rice today. The chimpanzee wanted to frame his med school diploma. The chimpanzee wanted to join the football team. (soccer US). The shampoo should be mixed with conditioner.

4. Il barboncino della Zia Maria teneva un biglietto per il teatro in bocca. Aunt Maria's poodle held a theater ticket in his mouth. Aunt Maria's unsightly beard required a quick trip to the barber. The barber in love with Aunt Maria held a theater ticket in his pocket. Aunt Maria had a barbershop and earned lots of money.

5. Nel paese dei sogni, le farfalle sono re. In the kingdom of dreams, butterflies are kings. In my village, we eat pasta often. The frivolous dream of becoming kings. Butterflies dream whilst you sleep.

6. Hai perso ancora la tua biro? Ebbene, scrivi pure col naso! You lost your beer again? Well your nose won't be as red! Lost your beer again? Well write to the bartender! You've lost your pen again? Well, just write with your nose! You used parsley in the soup again? Well next time use your nose!

7. Per piacere, posso avere un bicchiere d'acqua per la mia zanzara? Please may I have a glass of water for my mosquito? Please may I ride the jet-ski with my aunt? Please may I have a glass of water for the gypsies? Please may I have some bug spray for my mosquito?

8. Cappuccetto Rosso era triste, perche aveva perso il burro per la nonna nel bosco. The red-haired hairdresser was sad because he'd lost his granny's donkey in the forest. The donkey lost its little red cap when it spotted a nun. Little Red Riding Hood was sad because she'd lost her granny's burro in the forest. Little Red Riding Hood was sad because she had lost the butter for her granny in the forest.

9. La regina ha chiesto una cipolla per piangere meglio. The queen asked for a better crown. The Queen asked for some chips with her beer. The queen asked for an onion to cry better. The government requested a carnage.

10. Le scimmie al guinzaglio! Monkeys must be kept on a leash! Shimmering waves of water!! Dogs must be kept on a leash! Apes must be accompanied!