Mythological Dining Disasters

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1. Fatherhood can bring a number of concerns to divine fathers: proper care and feeding, baby toys, and the fact that your young godling could eventually supplant you. This god decided to deal with the problems in one fell, er, gulp. He swallowed them whole. Four children later, his wife wised up to this, and fed him a rock wrapped in baby clothes. Up came the rock and the kids, and everyone lived happily ever after. Zeus Apollo Uranus Cronus

2. This fellow, whom we could perhaps describe as "a few French fries short of a happy meal," invited all the gods to a feast at his palace. The entree was his own son, Pelops. The gods were not amused, and punished him in the underworld by making it "tantalizingly" impossible to eat or drink anything. Tantalus Ixion Sisyphus Atreus

3. Speaking of tots, and not of the "tater" variety, this would-be king of Mycenae served up the children of his brother Thyestes to none other than Thyestes. Atreus Oedipus Agamemnon Orestes

4. Now comes a "sad drinking accident." Glaucus, one of the sons of Minos, drowned in a pithos (great big jar) full of this yummy liquid. Wine Coca Cola Oil Honey

5. Cannibalism again! After the great battle of the Seven Against Thebes, Athena was so impressed by Tydeus' performance that she decided to make him immortal. Then Tydeus started eating his not-quite-dead-yet adversary's brains. What did Athena think of this? Overjoyed Honored Indifferent Lost her nerve

6. Icarius, who lived near Athens, was basically a nice guy. When Dionysus came by one day, Icarius treated him well, and in return, Dionysus gave Icarius a gift of wine. Icarius, in turn, was so nice he gave some of the wine to a group of nearby shepherds. How did the shepherds thank him for this? Threw a big party for him Gave him a couple of sheep Stole the rest of the wine Killed him

7. One of the major themes of Homer's "Odyssey" seems to be "Eat Wrong and Die." After all, even the poem of the "Odyssey" claims that Odysseus' men were destroyed by their own folly, by eating these divine bovines. Geryon's Cattle The Cattle of the Sun God The Bull of Minos The "Eat More Chiken" Cows

8. Their mommies told them to eat their vegetables. Sadly, it was a very bad idea. Some of Odysseus' men ate this delectable vegetable, which made them totally forget about returning to their dear home, dear wives, dear parents, dear mommies ... Cauliflower Broccoli Lotus Asparagus

9. Now we come to the host of Giants that Eat People. Of these not-necessarily-purple people eaters, which is the only one that Odysseus actually manages extract revenge upon? Laestrygonians Scylla Cyclops Charybdis

10. Sometimes, it's not what you eat, just how much. Odysseus gave it to this group of people for treating themselves to dinner chez Odysseus just about every night for twenty years. Priests Suitors Herdsmen Sailors