M*A*S*H - Quotes Trivia

1. "Letters" Klinger: (delivering mail) "And the winner of this week's Truss Award is none other than our own Eye of the Hawk." Margaret: "What?" BJ: "Looks like a "Dear John" letter from the ______."

From Quiz Season 9 Quotes

Answer: Rockettes

Hawkeye: "No, it's from Amy Clark, a friend of mine who's a teacher back in Crabapple Cove." Charles: "Finishing elementary school in your spare time, Pierce?" Hawkeye: (reading a letter) "You said in your last letter how boring it can get for everyone there so I thought it might be nice for my fourth-graders to write to all of you." The group gets a small stack of letters from the students. Mulcahy tells a story of how he got a drunk dog to go on the wagon. How Margaret got close to a patient who was dying but felt no pain as he was paralyzed. Charles' letter had a leaf in it reminding him of New England.

From Quiz Season 7 Quotes

Answer: Stomach

Soldier: "Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I touched it and he screamed. But they thought he was fakin'." BJ: "Fakin', huh? Radar, get him inside. I'm goin' back up there." Radar: "Yeah. Wait a minute! Don't you think you'd better tell Captain Pierce where you're going? BJ: "You tell him. I can't get an appointment." With Charles sick Hawkeye was appointed Temporary Commanding Officer while Potter was on R&R. Hawkeye got stressed out being CO of the 4077th so much so BJ left for the aid station where a wounded soldier was waiting.

From Quiz Season 5 Quotes

Answer: Cracker Jacks

Except for Hawkeye, Margaret, Radar and a patient the 4077th bugged out because the Chinese were coming. Frank kept blowing his whistle despite everyone being annoyed by it.

From Quiz Season 4 Quotes

Answer: Ferret Face

Both Hawkeye and BJ are clearly drunk when they got to the camp. A drunk BJ says, "What say you Ferret Face?" Then collapses, still laughing, on Major Houlihan's lap/arms.

From Quiz Season 3 Quotes

Answer: General

Hawkeye: "Yeah, in a rubber truck." General Steele got Hawkeye charged after calling him out on the chopper pad. Then during the hearing General Steele danced out singing a song.

From Quiz Season 2 Quotes

Answer: Bombed

Trapper: [holding up his martini] "One good bombing deserves another." Only Margaret and Frank take the bombing raids seriously but everyone else was betting on where 5 O'Clock Charlie's bomb would fall. Hawkeye and Trapper took lawn chairs and martinis to watch the bomb dropping.

From Quiz "M*A*S*H" - Quotable Quotes

Answer: unless absolutely necessary

This quote is from "Carry on Hawkeye". It was an announcement made over the PA in the beginning of the episode, which sees the whole camp contract the flu.

From Quiz "MASH" Trivia-a-thon 5 Quotes

Answer: Hawkeye

This is a very touching and profound quote. Hawkeye was trying to convince Frank of coming with him to find the sniper in the episode "The Sniper", explaining to him that it takes more than showing off to be a hero.

From Quiz Season 3 Quotes

Answer: Laverne

Klinger: "We've been dating since high school. Of course she's seen me." Henry: "I mean recently." Mail call at the 4077th - Klinger got word that he girlfriend Laverne wanted to marry him. Frank once again insulted Hawkeye and his extremely grateful patient got tired of Frank's insults and knocked him out.

From Quiz Season 2 Quotes

Answer: Daughter

Trapper was in the middle of operating when Hawkeye's patient got off the table and broke something of Trapper's patient contaminating the field. The prisoner was told by Mulcahy "bung chow" thinking it meant something nice but it really meant something entirely different.

From Quiz Season 1 Quotes

Answer: Frank

Trapper: "I thought you were Frank's bag!" Trapper was working out using Frank's duffel bag as a punching bag hoping to beat a sister MASH camp's boxer.

From Quiz "MASH" Trivia-a-thon 5 Quotes

Answer: Captain Chandler

One can surely say that this is a logical quote. It was mentioned in "Quo Vadis, Captain Chandler". Captain Chandler was a disturbed soldier who thought that he was Jesus himself. Sydney had a very compassionate look on his face, feeling very sorry for the poor soul.

From Quiz Season 11 Quotes

Answer: Mortgage

Hawkeye: "Well, I guess the cat's out of the bag now." Potter: ""Paid in full"? How on earth did she do it six months early?" Mulcahy: "Well, I believe she wrote in her letter that she saved the egg money." Potter: "Well, I'll be. And to think I got nervous when Mildred opened a charge account at the pharmacy." Mildred Potter sent a letter to Hawkeye with the mortgage and her idea for celebrating paying it off early. He tried to get the letter from Klinger before he delivered it to Hawkeye only for Klinger to all but say, "Unless you're Captain Pierce. No." Then he tried getting it from Hawkeye first by going through his things then asking for it.

From Quiz Season 10 Quotes

Answer: Boxing

Charles: "Absolutely no one. Klinger, in England, a country of which you may or may not have heard the day after Christmas is called Boxing Day. It is the custom for the masters and the servants of the manor to trade places." British Officer: "And in the case of the military the officers trade jobs with the other ranks, uh, your enlisted men, for a day." Klinger: "Hey, that's my kind of tradition." Klinger was put in charge with Potter as Company Clerk, BJ and Margaret was put on KP, Kelly was made Head Nurse, Charles was put in the kitchen, Hawkeye and Mulcahy were orderlies.

From Quiz Season 5 Quotes

Answer: A doctor

At the start of the episode Frank was listening to a baseball game which would be replayed later and bet on by many members of the 4077th. A couple of the nurses came to the Swamp asking for Hawkeye's help in lighting their stove. He lit the match and a super flash of light blinded Hawkeye temporarily.

From Quiz Season 4 Quotes

Answer: Stop

After Hawkeye was mistakenly declared dead his dad called the 4077th for BJ to ask, "How and why?" The phone then went caput. Seeing how Eisenhower was coming to Korea no phone calls, he wasn't getting his mail or his paycheck much to Frank's delight. Klinger's idea was to send a telegram but it wouldn't go through.

From Quiz Season 3 Quotes

Answer: Jewish

Trapper: "Can Father Mulcahy do Jewish?" Hawkeye: "Only if he can read Latin from right to left." A Korean lady walked into camp with a baby saying "labbi forbris" and handed a piece of paper to Hawkeye. After reading it he immediately knew what she wanted. "Labbi forbris is "Rabbi for Bris."

From Quiz Season 2 Quotes

Answer: Latrine

Hawkeye operated even though he was beyond exhausted and acting more strange even for him. Like taking a picture of the latrine. He aimed his camera toward Frank and Hot Lips with Frank blocking his face from being in the picture. Hawkeye: "What am I doing now?" Frank: "What are you doing?" Hawkeye: "Still taking a picture of a latrine. It was a trick question."

From Quiz Season 1 Quotes

Answer: Ten mile hike

Henry named Hawkeye Chief Surgeon telling Frank, who wanted it, that Hawkeye was far more qualified than Frank. Frank with Margaret's urging called General Barker. Hawkeye and Trapper in trying to get Hawkeye not in trouble got General Barker to help in the OR. General Barker was appreciative of Pierce making him work

From Quiz "M*A*S*H" - Quotable Quotes

Answer: Could you at least bleed?

This is said in "It Happened One Night", after Klinger was grazed by a bullet. Klinger later attempts to get pneumonia.

From Quiz "MASH" Trivia-a-thon 5 Quotes

Answer: Warner

This is a pretty weird question, right? Actually, that was one of Klinger's first attempts to get a section 8 in Potter's presence. That took place in "Change of Command", right after Potter came.

From Quiz Season 10 Quotes

Answer: Egg

Hawkeye: "Eggs? In Korea? Impossible. Korean chickens only lay powder." Margaret: "Pierce, shut up already. Talk, sir." Potter: "Thank you, Major. It seems the farmer is so grateful, he's donating an entire day's egg production to all the G.I.'s in the area." Patient: "Does that include us?" Potter: "Yup. Tomorrow, at a special Sunday brunch, officers, enlisted men and wounded will get fresh eggs." But since an AWOL soldier was declaring sanctuary the brunch had to be moved to the outdoors. The fresh eggs were being served until the AWOL soldier fired a gun causing the MPs looking for him to toss the table to make cover.

From Quiz Season 5 Quotes

Answer: Hawkeye

Sidney came for a long visit to the 4077th after losing a patient to suicide. He was writing to Sigmund Freud telling him all about some of the 4077th inhabitants. Sidney discovered that a practical joker was going after some of the inhabitants who turned out to be BJ. BJ told Sidney to shout "Air raid!" at the Swamp causing a panicked Frank to run out and fall into what he thought was an empty foxhole. Instead he fell into a small pool of water. A bomber pilot got off a local's cart at Rosie's bar when Hawkeye was coming out.

From Quiz Season 4 Quotes

Answer: Klinger

Klinger: "I gave it up for Lent." A group of orphans come to bunk with the 4077th but dropped off an expectant mother at her family's home. She later walked into camp wounded. Nurse Cratty and BJ performed a caesarean section and delivered a healthy baby.

From Quiz Season 2 Quotes

Answer: M

Radar: "Because they're under "B" for "boom."" Kim had wandered into a minefield unhurt and only Margaret could tell him to stop and stay in Korean. Trapper had run to get the kid only to be told to stop. Hawkeye ran to Henry's office to get the maps of the minefield. Radar found the map and Henry shouted directions to Trapper only to be told he'd be safely in the heart of Downtown Berlin.

From Quiz Season 1 Quotes

Answer: Constructive criticism

Hawkeye: "Oh, you want a constructive criticism. You're right. How about, you stink! And so does this little movie show and Lieutenant Bricker." Frank with Margaret's help was rehearsing his lines for the planned movie about MASH doctors ending with Hawkeye and Trapper laughed at him.

From Quiz "M*A*S*H" - Quotable Quotes

Answer: Hawkeye

This quote is from "38 Across", an episode from season 5, which sees Hawkeye and BJ try to complete a "New York Times" crossword, and Klinger attempt to eat a Jeep. In this quote, Hawkeye is talking to Klinger after he comes into the OR, sick from eating the Jeep.

From Quiz "MASH" Trivia-a-thon 5 Quotes

Answer: Frank

This quote is taken from "Private Charles Lamb". "Silly Goose" was one of his few catchphrases, along with "you guys!", "pheew!", and others.

From Quiz Season 6 Quotes

Answer: Bathed

Hawkeye: "He finds our offensiveness offensive." Winchester: "Your odor is taking the curl out of my horn." BJ: "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Hawkeye: "If you're thinking what I'm thinking. Are you thinking of stinking?" BJ: "Make you a deal, Winchester. You knock off the horn, we shower." Winchester: "And if I refuse?" Hawkeye: "The more you blow, the worse we'll grow." After an OR session BJ and Hawkeye were exhausted but needed a shower. Just then Winchester began playing on his French horn much to everyone's chagrin. Hawkeye and BJ offered to shower only if Winchester stopped playing his French horn.

From Quiz Season 5 Quotes

Answer: Hawkeye

Potter left for Tokyo for a few days of R&R where Mildred was meeting him. After Potter left Sophie was lying down in her stall with an illness. BJ phoned his father-in-law in Oklahoma who was a farmer. Floyd told BJ it was colic and she needed to be cleaned out. Hawkeye had one end of a hose telling BJ, "Hook this up to the spigot up there." "It looks awful high." "You want the other end?" "It's not so high."

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Last Updated Nov 07 2026 5:46 AM

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