Special Sub-Topic: The Ubiquitous Orange Traffic Cone Authored by: pu2-ke-qi-ri Sub-topic of: Roads & Highways

The orange traffic cone has a long and distinguished history. Charles P. Rudabaker of New York invented the first traffic cones in 1914. What were these ur-traffic cones made out of?

Cement. Drivers found that narrow roads and large, rocky objects did not make a joyful combination. Most traffic cones nowadays are made out of PVC. But the simple cone was not good enough for the world-- flashing lights and fluorescent bands now grace the humble orange traffic cone, thanks to patents issued in 1959 and 1972.

We perhaps think of the global economy in terms of steel production, agricultural produce, electronics, or other such things. But which two countries are powerhouses of orange traffic cone exportation?

China and Taiwan. Yes, most orange traffic cones begin their life in either China or Taiwan. I don't even know if there are any orange traffic cones in Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan, Rwanda, or Burundi. You know, this explains why my Volvo gets so lonely when I park her near a bunch of traffic cones. The cones, you know, don't speak Swedish, and she doesn't speak any of the languages spoken in China or Taiwan.

Let us consider traffic cones in biological terms. What is the favorite ecological niche of orange traffic cones?

Construction areas. This can get frustrating. Orange construction cones-- "They're everywhere you want to be." But please do not take your anger out on the traffic cone. Just because a traffic cone can bounce back after being run over doesn't mean it can't feel pain!

However, a new threat to the orange traffic cone has emerged in recent years: the Orange Traffic Barrel. Will orange traffic cones ever be placed on the endangered species list?

No. The endangered species list contains living organisms, mainly animals and plants. Cones are, to my knowledge, not alive, though I'm sure I could find someone to dispute that with me. And I don't think we'll be seeing the end of the orange traffic cone any time soon, despite the might of the Orange Traffic Barrel. Look at this! "These durable barrels have the appearance of a formidable obstacle. As a result, they command the respect of drivers. "Barrels feature anti-roll design so they're less likely than other barrels to roll into traffic zone. Plus, each barrel includes 4 stripes of engineer-grade reflective sheeting to improve visibility at night and in poor weather. "Barrels are able to display one or two type "A" or "C" lights. Features built-in handle for easy maneuverability. Barrels also stack for easy transporting. "Certified to meet NCHRP-350 requirements. Made of impact-resistant, low density polyethylene. Color is safety orange with ultraviolet stabilizer for fade resistance. Height: 42.5". Width: 18" at top, 23.5" at base." Ooooohhhhh...sounds scary. And a real steal for only $79.64!

If you wanted to buy an orange traffic cone, yes, a single orange traffic cone, about how much would it cost?

$10. Of course, there are less expensive cones, and more expensive cones, but I think the average price for a single cone is about $10. But there are other philosophical considerations. With or without reflective stripe? 28" or 36"?

Let us consider the ontological nature of the orange traffic cone. Need a traffic cone always be orange? Answer me this: Are there non-orange traffic cones?

Yes. One can also find blue, white, red, green and electric yellow traffic cones. But, of course, orange is by far the most popular color.

Traffic cones by the numbers: About how many traffic cones does that bastion of burnt orange, the University of Texas at Austin, buy every year?

600. Rhonda Weldon, a spokeswoman for the campus services department, assures us that "the University buys 600 cones each summer. There are cone catalogues, and the University looks for the best prices possible." UT is a proverbial 40 acres big, with about 50,000 students. This makes for about one new traffic cone per year per 83 students. I wonder what the per capita annual traffic cone purchases (PCATCP) are for other universities. Does PCATCP correlate with the academic excellence of a school? The SAT scores of its incoming class? Amount of grant money received? This calls for more research! Could I have a grant for that?

In the manual on Uniform Traffic Control Devices, what are orange traffic cones known (cone known?) as?

Cones. According to the Manual on Uniform Traffic Control Devices, cones shall be designed thusly (and this is very exciting reading, I might add): 2. Cone Design Cones shall be predominantly orange, fluorescent red-orange, orange, not less than 18 inches in height, or fluorescent yellow and shall be made of a material that can be struck without damaging vehicles on impact. Cones shall be a minimum of 28 inches in height when they are used on freeways and other high- speed highways, on all highways during nighttime, or whenever more conspicuous guidance is needed. For nighttime use, cones shall be retroreflective or equipped with lighting devices for maximum visibility. Retroreflection of 28-inch or larger cones shall be provided by a white band 6 inches wide, no more than 3 to 4 inches from the top of the cone, and an additional 4-inch-wide white band a minimum of 2 inches below the 6-inch band. Aye, sir, I have made a note of it!

Is there really a "Traffic Cone Preservation Society"?

Yes. According to their website, "Until the late 20th century, traffic cones were not thought worthy of scientific study. It is the Society's mission to counteract these centuries of neglect. By preserving and studying these 'Helpers of Humanity,' we hope to allow future generations the opportunity to enjoy these magnificent creatures in their natural habitats." Right-O. I must also recommend Kibo's Virtual Reality Tour of Orange Cones. The most impressive collection of photos of cones in their natural and unnatural environments that I have ever seen!

Somehow, the Duke of Wellington can't stop wearing his favorite orange traffic cone hat. This is, of course, the statue of the Duke of Wellington at the Gallery of Modern Art in which Scottish city?

Glasgow. Officials have tried removing the hat, but it always reappears after a few days. I don't know. Maybe he really does look good in orange. Art historian Gary Nisbet claims the cones are doing irreparable damage to the good Duke. I think he's a party pooper. So do the residents of Glasgow!