Special Sub-Topic: Moist von Lipwig, Postmaster General Click Here To Play: Moist von Lipwig, Postmaster General

At the beginning of 'Going Postal', Moist is to be hanged under an assumed name. What was this name?

Alfred Spangler. All of these are names that Moist von Lipwig has gone by at some point, but Alfred Spangler is the con-man who was to be hanged in 'Going Postal'.

Moist has a criminal mindset. Vetinari understands this. Drumknott does not. What does Moist keep doing to Drumknott that proves this?

Stealing his pencil. By the end of "Making Money", Moist had stolen Drumknott's pencil no less than three times, despite the clerk being careful to ensure he put it back in his pocket before Moist could get to it the third time.

When Moist goes to the Unseen University library to find out more information about the power of words, he is strapped into a machine to help him find his perfect book, and warned that he may experience the feeling of being slapped in the face with a fish. What kind of fish does he identify it as?

Haddock. Apparently, most people say 'cod', but as the wizard says, there is no accounting for taste.

Sacharissa Cripslock wants to take an iconograph of Moist for The Times. After all, he is the man in the golden suit. Moist doesn't want to be iconographed, however. Although he gives two excuses, the one that he offers first is:

He does not want to be singled out. Although he eventually tells her that it is against his religion, the first excuse he gives is that "there is no 'me' in team" and he does not want to be singled out from all the other hard-working people trying to revive the Post Office. His real reason, of course, is that he does not want to be recognised as Moist von Lipwig when not wearing his golden suit.

Just prior to leaving with the mail for Sto Lat, Moist tells Sacharissa that he intends to eventually flavour the gum in a variety of flavours. Which flavour does he explicitly intend to leave out?

Strawberry. "Incidentally, we intend eventually to flavor the gum in licorice, orange, cinnamon, and banana flavors, but not strawberry, because I hate strawberries."

Gryle summarizes Moist's known backstory prior to coming to Ankh-Morpork neatly in fifteen words. What does he say?

Father dead. Mother dead. Raised by grandfather. Sent away to school. Bullied. Ran away. Vanished.. Neither Gryle, Gilt, nor anyone else can find what Moist was doing after he vanished but before he was appointed Postmaster. Of course, this is because he was operating under a series of pseudonyms.

When Moist meets her in the Mended Drum, Adora Belle Dearheart has one main question to ask him: "You hardly know me and yet you invited me out on a date. Why?" How does he reply (out loud; not in his head)?

Because I hardly know you. All three incorrect answers are things that crossed his mind as reasons why he asked her on a date, but he keeps all of that quiet.

Immediately prior to the race at the end of 'Going Postal', Moist publicly proposes to Adora Belle Dearheart. With what two words does she respond to his proposal?

Not yet. This response got a 'mixture of cheers and boos' from the gathered crowd.

At the beginning of 'Making Money', Vetinari tells Moist that 'a little bird' tells him that he (Moist) is tipped to become Chairman of the Merchants' Guild next year. According to Moist himself, what shall he get if this happens?

A very nearly gold chain. " "I shall get a very nearly gold chain," said Moist. "He will get a very nearly gold chain, Drumknott," observed Vetinari, paying attention to a new letter. "

A year prior to the events of 'Making Money', Moist asked Adora Belle Dearheart to be his wife. In response, she had explained, in fact...

He was going to be her husband. However she had phrased it, this meant he was a nearly married man, meaning he ought to put his mind to being steadfast and dependable, and not get caught up with the Lavish family. Of course, he does anyway, and likely no one expected anything different.

When Moist meets Topsy Lavish, she sees through his facade immediately. When she finds out about Adora Belle and, more to the point, her work with golems, she quips, "Great big clay men who are utterly trustworthy and don't have anything to declare in the trouser department? What does she see in you, Mr Lipwig?". In what (possibly) reassuring way does she answer her own question?

A contrast, I trust. However she answered it, Moist's mouth fell open at the fact that she had even asked the question.

What kind of food does Moist profess that he hates, when Adora Belle tells him that she has asked Aimsbury to prepare him some?

Food that stares back. In response, Adora Belle tells him that the dinner in question, a sheep's head, would be blindfolded. It ends up being cooked while wearing sunglasses. Surprisingly, this does little to reassure him.

What beverage, that Moist's granny used to make, does Igor offer him when they are working together in the cellar?

Splot. Splot is non-alcoholic and made from tree bark with herbs and all-natural ingredients. Of course, belladonna is a herb and arsenic is all-natural, and it's only non-alcoholic because alcohol can't survive in the mix.

Of course, everything had to come to a head at one point. During the court of inquiry over the gold missing from the bank vault, what does Moist give as his job prior to arriving in Ankh-Morpork?

A crook. " "Oh, sorry. I was a crook." "By crook you mean-" "Confidence trickster. Occasional forgery. I'd like to think I was more of a scallywag, to be frank." "

At the end of 'Making Money', Adora Belle and Moist go down to the vaults together, and Moist admits that he likes to flirt with risk. When she sashays towards him and asks him what he's thinking about, he replies:

"Money boxes.". " "Yes, in the shape of the bank and the Mint. To teach the kiddies the habits of thrift. The money could go in the slot where the Bad Penny is -" "Are you really thinking about money boxes?" "Er, no. I'm flirting with risk again." "