Special Sub-Topic: Presidents Say the Darndest Things Click Here To Play: Presidents Say the Darndest Things

Which President, in response to an accusation that he was two-faced, replied, "If I was two-faced, would I be wearing this one?"

Abraham Lincoln. This great retort was made to Stephen Douglas during one of the famous Lincoln-Douglas debates of 1858, in which the two men battled it out for the Illinois senate seat (Douglas won). Another Lincoln witticism: After being told by doctors that he had variola, a type of smallpox, he stated, "There is one good thing about this. Now I have something I can give everybody."

Finish the statement by Franklin Roosevelt, 32nd President: "A ____ is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned to walk forward."

conservative. Roosevelt, our only four-term President, made this statement during a radio address on October 26, 1939. He was a good friend of another witty politician of his time, Winston Churchill of Great Britain. "It is fun to be in the same decade with you," he wrote in one of many letters to Churchill.

Which President said in an interview, "I've looked on a lot of women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many times."?

Jimmy Carter. This famous statement was made during an interview for the November 1976 issue of "Playboy". At the time of the interview, he was Governor of Georgia (the Presidential election hadn't been held yet). The rest of the statement was, "This is something that God recognizes I will do--and I have done it--and God forgives me for it." Carter was one of our few chief executives who was not suspected of having extramarital affairs either before or after his stint in the White House.

Which President, in what may in retrospect be one of the most ironic statements ever made, reflected, "You know, I always wondered about taping equipment, but I’m damn glad we have it, aren’t you?"

Richard Nixon & Nixon. He was heard making this statement to H. R. Haldeman, his Chief of Staff- presumably before the Watergate Hearings. Another Nixon gem: "When the president does it, that means that it is not illegal." This, of course, was in reference to his participation in the scandals collectively known as Watergate.

Finish the statement by William Howard Taft: "Politics, when I am in it, makes me ____."

sick. Taft, our heaviest President and only one to serve as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, was actually reluctant to enter politics. His first appointment came in 1900, when President McKinley sent him to the Philippines as Chief Civil Administrator. He was made Secretary of War by Teddy Roosevelt in 1907, and nominated to be Roosevelt's successor in 1908. Another political witticism comes from Rutherford Hayes, who said, "Nothing brings out the lower traits of human nature like office seeking."

"Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There's nothing to do but to stand there and take it." Which eloquent President uttered this lovely sentiment?

Lyndon Johnson. Lyndon Johnson, our 36th President, was known for his "folksy" (or crude) humor, Texas-sized ego, and legendary persuasiveness. His legacies include many improvements in civil rights and the creation of Medicare.

Which President made the astute observation, "When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results"?

Calvin Coolidge. This statement appeared in a newspaper column that Coolidge had written on unemployment. "Silent Cal" was perhaps destined to occupy the Oval Office, as he was born on the Fourth of July, 1872. The taciturn Vermonter was known for his remoteness and frugality, although he had a soft side. He knew several languages, and in his spare time translated Dante's “Inferno” into English (Who said he didn't know how to have a good time?) My favorite Coolidge quote: Reporter: "It isn’t likely you’ll say anything tomorrow at the fair?" Coolidge: "No. I am just going as an exhibit."

"I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting" was the instruction of which President?

Ronald Reagan. Born in Illinois, Ronald Reagan would appear in 53 movies before entering politics, first as Governor of California in 1966. He proved to be a favorite among the people for his humor and charisma, and was noted for his love of jellybeans.

Complete the statement by Gerald Ford: "I watch a lot of baseball ____."

on the radio. This likable guy from Michigan's claim to fame is being the only person to become President without ever having been elected either President or Vice President. He became VP upon the resignation of Spirew Agnew, Nixon's VP, in 1973, and became President the following year as a result of Nixon's unprecedented resignation. Prior to that he was House Minority Leader. Many people believed that his pardon of Nixon for any criminal acts cost him the 1976 election.

Which tone-deaf chief executive once told a reporter, "I only know two tunes. One of them is ‘Yankee Doodle’ and the other isn’t"?

Ulysses Grant. Born in Ohio in 1822, Ulysses Grant proved himself to be a better military commander than President. He became known for his leadership of the Union army in the US Civil War, being appointed General-in-Chief in March 1864. Although honest himself, he tended to surround himself with people who were not, which resulted in a less-than-stellar Presidency. Ironically, he died in 1885 shortly after completing his memoirs.

Which President uttered the prophetic words: "My God, this is a hell of a job! I have no trouble with my enemies . . . but my damn friends, they're the ones that keep me walking the floor nights."

Warren Harding. And what friends he had! The genial 29th President had made some bad choices in Cabinet members, who embroiled themselves in the scandal known as Teapot Dome. He died of a heart attack in 1923, only halfway through his term.

To whom was Abraham Lincoln referring when he made the tongue-in-cheek statement: "If ____ is not using the army, I should like to borrow it for a while"?

General McClellan. That Abe! This statement was supposedly made during a Cabinet meeting on January 10, 1862. It was known by this time that Lincoln was unhappy with the performance of George McClellan, whom he had appointed as Commander-in-Chief of the Union army in November 1861. On November 5, 1862, Lincoln placed the Union forces under the command of General Burnside, of sideburns fame.

"He advocated with skill, intelligence and good breeding the outworn doctrines which are responsible for four-fifths of the political troubles of the United States." The speaker was Teddy Roosevelt. About which President was he speaking?

Woodrow Wilson. The outspoken Roosevelt made this statement about Wilson, former president of Princeton and our only President with a PhD. Another observation from TR: "A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad."

Which President made the honest and modest observation, "I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens"?

Dwight Eisenhower. Dwight Eisenhower (1890-1969) was another of our chief executives who started out as a war hero. A West Point graduate, Eisenhower distinguished himself in World War II by commanding Operation Overlord, the Allied assault on Nazi-occupied Europe, and later as the first Supreme Commander of NATO forces in Europe. Upon returning home in 1952, he declared himself a Republican and chose to run for President with a young Californian named Richard Nixon as his running mate.

This President, when rebuffed after trying to seduce historian Dr. Margaret Louise Coit, was asked, “Do you do this to all the women you meet?” To which he replied, "“My god, no- I don’t have the strength”.

John F. Kennedy. John F. Kennedy was famous for his charisma, freshness, and compulsive skirt-chasing. Fellow senator George Smathers once said that he had "the most active libido of any man I’ve ever known". Another JFK witticism: Kennedy to supporters during the Presidential campaign: "Do you realize the responsibility I carry? I’m the only person between Nixon and the White House."

Which President made the observation, "All the president is, is a glorified public relations man who spends his time flattering, kissing, and kicking people to get them to do what they are supposed to do anyway"?

Harry Truman. This folksy Missouri native has proven more popular in retrospect than he was during his Presidency, 1945 to 1953. He found himself thrust into the role upon the death of Franklin Roosevelt in April 1945, and was faced with the agonizing decision to drop atomic bombs on Japan.

"Tell him to go to hell". This statement was made by Zachary Taylor in 1847; who is the "him" referred to?

General Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna. Zachary Taylor, our twelfth President, became a national hero for his role in the Mexican War. He defeated Mexican General Antoino Lopez de Santa Anna at the Battle of Buena Vista in February 1847, earning him the nickname "Old Rough and Ready". When, prior to that, Santa Anna surrounded the Americans at Angostura Pass in Mexico and demanded an immediate surrender, Taylor's reply was, "Tell him to go to hell". Taylor's group of about 6,000 then beat overwhelming odds, defeating 20,000 Mexican forces. A popular favorite, "Old Rough and Ready" was the winner of the 1848 election. Sadly, he died in 1850, serving only 16 months of his term.

Which President made the brilliant observation, "They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program"?

George W. Bush. There are actually entire websites dedicated to stupid quotes from this guy, our 43rd President. This particular brilliant statement was made in St. Charles, Missouri on November 2, 2000. A couple more Bushisms: "Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" and "They misunderestimated me".

Which President made the clever statement, "About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends"?

Herbert Hoover. Unfortunately for this Iowan, our 31st President, the stock market crashed during his Presidency in October 1929. Many people unfairly blamed him, helping him to lose the 1932 election to Franklin Roosevelt. Later, historians reported that Hoover had actually seen the stock market crash coming and had tried to do something about it by attempting to get bankers to stop making loans to brokers who were recklessly encouraging speculation; unfortunately, nobody listened.

Which President recalled, "As to the Presidency, the two happiest days of my life were those of my entrance upon the office and my surrender of it"?

Martin Van Buren. This New Yorker, nicknamed "The Little Magician", was elected Vice President on Andrew Jackson's ticket in 1832, and won the Presidency in 1836. Defeated by William Henry Harrison 1840 for reelection, he ran again unsuccessfully on the Free Soil ticket in 1848. He died in 1862. A similar view on the Presidency came from James Polk: "With me it is exceptionally true that the Presidency is no bed of roses."