"South Park" - "Eek...!" Trivia Quiz

Answer: Oprah

Ms. Garrison was sobbing openly to her class about her confusion: "I admit it, I was... I was sexually lost. And then I see this person on 'Oprah'... she's a woman but then she got a sex change and became a man, but... then she got pregnant and is having a baby which means she's still a woman all along. That means I'm really still a man, I'm... I still feel like a man." All Butters wanted to know was if they were going to be tested on the material! The "Oprah" guest to which Ms. Garrison was referring was named Thomas Beatie, and he did indeed make a big splash in the news when he came forward with his pregnancy!

Answer: pointer

As soon as he walked to the front of the class, he grabbed hold of the teacher's pointer and started cracking it like a whip. Then he called Clyde up to the front, saying, "Yeah, you're gonna take it, Clyde."

Answer: ear

The news was reporting on the lab, which had come "under fire for genetically engineering body parts onto laboratory mice." They showed a picture of a mouse with a human ear growing out of its back and reported that the scientists claimed "the process could help thousands of people who've become disfigured and need ears or noses." Ms. Garrison was astonished, and quickly made her way to the lab to find out about growing herself new male genitals.

Answer: Latino

Cartman arrived in the class and introduced himself (in an accent) as "Eric Cartmenez." He'd also gone in for a little physical transformation, shaving a bald strip into his head, which he then combed his other hair over. He added glasses and a briefcase to help look a bit more respectable.

Answer: Bill Belichick, coach of the New England Patriots

Cartman handed out syllabi and told the kids he was going to get them into college. The kids complained that they were never going to get into college, but Cartman stood his ground: "The reason that you think you can't get into college is because you haven't been taught... how to cheat properly! How do you think white people always get ahead? Because we cheat all the time - I mean because they cheat all the time.

This is Bill Belichick, coach of the New England Patriots. He's won three Super Bowls. How? He cheated.

He even got caught cheating, and nobody cared. Bill Belichick proved that in America it's okay to cheat, as long as you cheat your way to the top!" One of the kids complained that she didn't want to "be called a cheater." Cartman assured her, "No, no. If you cheat and fail, you're a cheater. If you cheat and succeed, you're savvy."

Answer: basketball

Cartman found the boy on the basketball court and invited him to "a little pickup game." The boy agreed, but Cartman kept hitting him in the shins with a stick so he could score. The boy accused him of cheating, but Cartman pointed out that the scoreboard still had him in the lead. The student acknowledge Cartman's point but still disagreed, and limped off of the court.

Answer: Butters'

The rat ran through the kitchen where Mrs. Stotch was doing dishes. She hopped onto a nearby stool and shrieked "Eek, eek!" Mr. Stotch seemed a bit tired of his wife's response, saying "Heh, women. Always afraid of penises." He and Butters went to the kitchen, though, and Butters identified the member as his teacher's. Mr. Stotch put the rat outside, though, and it proceeded to run past the grocery store and through a hotel while Ms. Garrison chased it!

Answer: yes

He just likened it to cheating and brought her around to his way of thinking:
Cartman: "Alright, let's go get you an abortion."
Molita: "No, I'm Catholic! I think abortion is wrong!"
Cartman: "Abortion isn't wrong! What's the one thing I've been teaching you?"
Molita: "...That cheating is good?"
Cartman: "Yes! And abortion in the ultimate form of cheating! You're cheating nature itself! Why do rich white girls get ahead in life? Because they get abortions when they're young! They get pregnant, but they still want to go to college so, whatever, they just cheat! They cheat that little critter in their belly right out of a chance at life."
Molita: "I don't know, Mr. C..."
Cartman: "Mexicans are told not to cheat. 'Don't cheat! You got pregnant, you have to raise the child!' So then you have to raise the child while all the white girls get to go to college and probably have a bunch more abortions! It is at our most challenging times, that we must cheat our very hardest."

Answer: yes

In fact, all of them got 100% on the tests! Cartman had helped the students with a last minute review, beginning with "how to print out cheat sheets as labels for your bottled water." Cartman's "white people method" certainly worked for all of his students!

Answer: yes

After the rat jumped down a sewer drain, Ms. Garrison thought her penis was lost forever, but as she cried on a park bench, the lab rat came back to her. She had the surgery and shared what she'd learned with the school: "I've learned that I've really been a dude all along. Because the key difference between men and women is that women can have babies. If you can't have babies then... you're a man."