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1470 replies. 1 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 74
Legal / Conditions of Use
Subject: A tribute to Advice For Bachelors
Posted by: lesley153
Date: Apr 24 12
That was the funniest thread we've had all year.
Posted by: lesley153
Date: Apr 24 12
That was the funniest thread we've had all year.
1470 replies. 1 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 74
13LuckyLady 
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Adult women wash their hands more often than males after using the restroom. I've never seen an adult woman apply makeup in the bathroom. If you use a toilet seat cover or must clean up after the previous occupant, it adds to the time a woman is in the restroom. The few times I've been privy to a conversation, the topic was geared more toward 'hateful remarks' than relationships. Reply #1241. Jul 25 16, 6:16 PM |
| 13LuckyLady
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From what I've been told, men do not look each other in the eye while using the restroom. Is this true? Reply #1242. Jul 25 16, 6:17 PM |
rockinsteve
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MOSTLY true. If it's someone I know, I look them in the eye. If I don't know them, I tend to avoid eye contact. Reply #1243. Jul 25 16, 6:29 PM |
brm50diboll
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More "Bro Code" material, which, like most comedy, is simply an exaggeration of what actually happens. Of course men do not make eye contact in the bathroom. Urinals are usually open, unlike stalls, so to actually look at another male while in the bathroom suggests .... For the uninitiated, my "Bro Code" references refer to the Barney Stinson character in "How I Met Your Mother" TV show. Barney Stinson was a stereotypical cad (played by Neil Patrick Harris in what is interesting irony given ....) who in most episodes of the show is attempting to seduce a female with a series of increasingly strained lies that he wants his buddies to go along with. Part of Barney's "wisdom" is announcing a series of rules as to how men should behave, collectively known as the "Bro Code" and compiled in book form later. If you're interested, just Google Bro Code. Anyway, these tidbits of "wisdom" are each enumerated, and yes, males shall not make eye contact with other males while using the urinal is part of the Bro Code (forget which number), and although it is satirical, does in fact actually represent typical male behavior. Reply #1244. Jul 25 16, 6:35 PM |
| 13LuckyLady
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I've seen the set up for urinals and can understand the no eye contact agreement. Barney is a blast. So many rules, it's a wonder he can function at all. Reply #1245. Jul 25 16, 7:18 PM |
Mixamatosis
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I'll stick my neck out here with another generalisation and say that on the whole I think women are better communicators than men. I can't say why that is. Perhaps women value communication more and men may regard it as displaying some kind of weakness. In work situations I've heard men complain about each other or something happening within a team when they could have prevented it or could sort it out with a bit of communication but they seem reluctant to do so. Women have fewer qualms about communicating to avoid problems or ensure good outcomes or that everyone is signed up to what a team is doing. As usual generalisations don't apply to all individuals but there seems to be a tendency among men and women to behave this way. Perhaps it will change in future as things develop. Reply #1246. Jul 26 16, 5:19 AM |
| Mixamatosis
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Many men do have communication skills - look at all the great authors, but writing books is not the same as communicating in interpersonal or social relationships. Reply #1247. Jul 26 16, 5:23 AM |
| 13LuckyLady
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I believe when women talk to men, some men think we wish them to fix whatever topic we are addressing. Often we are seeking information or want YOUR opinion. For example, floral sheets, ruffles and fancy towels are not for everyone. If you fellows don't listen, or don't express your preferences, you force us to make ALL the choices. That does not always make a happy relationship. People should listen if they want to be heard...both male and female. Reply #1248. Jul 26 16, 10:18 AM |
| brm50diboll
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Many men are perfectly happy with letting women make choices on matters they don't have much of a preference for anyway. Satire follows: W: Do you think the guest room should be decorated in shades of red or blue? M: Whatever you want, dear. W: But I want your opinion. M: Blue then. I like blue. Decorate it in blue. W: But red is a much warmer, more open color than blue. Blue is frosty and forbidding. M: You're right dear. I don't know what I was thinking. Obviously it should be red. W: I think you're just telling me what you think I want to hear. M: Oh, no. Red really is a better choice. You convinced me. W: You don't convince me, though. M: Then decorate it in green. W: Now you're just being argumentative. Moral: The man had no real preference at all. What should men learn from this? Be more convincing when you agree with your girlfriend. What should women learn from this? Who am I to dare suggest they could learn anything? They're perfect already. (But if they didn't bother forcing their boyfriend to take a position on something it is clear he has no preference on, but just choose for him, which is what he wants anyway, things would go smoother.) Reply #1249. Jul 26 16, 11:15 AM |
| 13LuckyLady
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Good heavens! Such a discussion would take FOREVER! Me: Colors - rose and blue, no ruffles, no fluffy loo seat covers and no delicates hanging in the loo? Husband: Agreed! Reply #1250. Jul 26 16, 11:23 AM |
| 13LuckyLady
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A revision... W: But I want your opinion. H: I gave you my opinion. What you do to make our house a home is acceptable to me. Then, dear gentlemen, do not complain about the result! Reply #1251. Jul 26 16, 11:28 AM |
| brm50diboll
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The source of conflict is not when the man is fine with what the woman chooses. The source of conflict is when the man expresses an opinion the women disagrees with. In that case, the possible results are: man changes his mind (unlikely), man pretends he has changed his mind (more likely, but not honest, and women can sense that), man sticks to his original opinion but says he will accept the woman's choice anyway (may not satisfy some women, who may be concerned the man will, at some point, bring up the issue again saying he told her he never liked it), or man sticks to his original opinion and doesn't agree to whatever the woman wanted (more likely a response of bachelors than husbands). You will note that the theoretical possibilities of woman changing her mind or pretending to change her mind were not listed because they're about as likely as pigs flying. Women do change their minds, though. Just not about something they disagree with a man on. They're very consistent on those points. The man was wrong, is wrong, and always will be wrong on this point in the future. As to other things men don't have a preference for one way or another, women will change that frequently and expect the man to notice the change as an improvement, whatever the change was. A natural brunette dyes her hair blonde. Man: I love the new blonde look! She then dyes it back to brunette. Man: Yeah, the blonde look was getting old. I'm so glad you changed it back. Oceania is at war with Eurasia. Oceania has always been at war with Eurasia. Oceania is at war with East Asia. Oceania has always been at war with East Asia. Reply #1252. Jul 26 16, 12:22 PM |
| 13LuckyLady
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If males don't have a preference, they need to say so and not beat about the bush. Disagreeing is part of a relationship. Marry a 'yes man'? No thank you! People change their minds when more information or a different perspective appears (or the color of paint they want doesn't exist yet). I could paint a wall in tie-dye in our home (if we owned it). Husband would notice, express his actual opinion and then either it would disappear or more walls be painted. I suspect "whatever you want, dear" or "it's up to you", for example, may be taken as "I don't give a rat's backside, why are you bothering me and I'm not listening further". Is it males don't care about their surroundings or just choosing paint/fabric/etc. colors? Reply #1253. Jul 26 16, 12:55 PM |
| Mixamatosis
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I have to say that before I make a decision about something important or expensive I like to find out as much as possible. This may involve googling but I also like to hear other people's opinions both men and women. I may even argue with what they say but it's not necessarily because I am rejecting it. I like to tease out the pros and cons so I feel well informed before deciding. I understand from the point of view of the people I'm asking it may not look that way and they may misunderstand what I'm doing or find it frustrating. Sometimes I even know what I want to do really but I'm testing it out - just like test driving a car. Reply #1254. Jul 26 16, 12:56 PM |
| 13LuckyLady
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Why would changing hair color be considered an improvement? This discussion is very enlightening! Reply #1255. Jul 26 16, 12:59 PM |
| 13LuckyLady
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Mixamatosis, a different perspective can really help. Often people are resolving the issue while discussing it with others. It's frustrating when people expect you to listen yet they don't know how to listen. Reply #1256. Jul 26 16, 1:02 PM |
| brm50diboll
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My previous post was an attempt (weak though it may have been) to be light-hearted. But as to your point that when men don't express an opinion on something, it's because they don't give a .... You may be totally right on that, in some cases. I, for example, will say I don't care at all about wallpaper. Some women may be disturbed that I don't care about that, but I don't. I'm not Oscar Wilde. Reportedly, he cared about wallpaper. Darn it! I shouldn't have mentioned that. Another rule of the Bro Code is that bros never quote Oscar Wilde. (Can the brotherhood forgive me if I argue that technically, I didn't actually quote Oscar Wilde, I just alluded to a quote attributed to Oscar Wilde. No, I don't think so. Even mentioning the name of Oscar Wilde is a grave offense to the brotherhood.) Slightly more seriously, however, when men don't express an opinion on something, yes, it may be they don't give a .... But, it may also be they do have an opinion, but on their list of priorities, this particular item ranks #3763, but they already know that their girlfriend would disagree with their opinion if they expressed it, and they also suspect their girlfriend's priority list has this item at #4. So, in the male mind, it is better not to express your opinion on this since it's not all THAT important to the man, but he knows it is much more important to his girlfriend. Here, "diplomacy" trumps honesty. Reply #1257. Jul 26 16, 1:09 PM |
| 13LuckyLady
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It's like playing Chess! Is this the right move at this moment or should I bide my time and wait for a more opportune time to....... How exhausting! I'd rather play FT! Reply #1258. Jul 26 16, 1:47 PM |
| brm50diboll
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Well, here I'm definitely not attempting to speak for all males. To the extent that my "stratagem" resembles chess, I cop to it. It is a function of my nerdiness and obsessive-compulsive tendencies. I am a fan of Game Theory (actually a branch of mathematics for which John Nash won a Nobel Prize in Economics, which was dramatized in the movie "A Beautiful Mind"). I enjoy constructing "optimal strategies" for all sorts of things. Actually, FunTrivia itself is quite amenable to Game Theory. In the "Impossible Badge" thread of the General section of these FT boards, I have frequently shared my viewpoints on "optimal strategy", and on other FT games, as well in other threads. But human relationships are not games to be "optimized", you say? What is wanting things to be better but "optimization"? My background just makes the mathematical analogies so obvious. Reply #1259. Jul 26 16, 2:09 PM |
| 13LuckyLady
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Work smarter not harder? Reply #1260. Jul 26 16, 2:12 PM |
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