Subject: Laughter is the Best Medicine: JOKES
Posted by: paulmallon
Date: Dec 23 23
Once upon a time, a pilot asked a beautiful princess, “Will you marry me?
The princess said, “No!”
And the pilot lived happily ever after and played golf and flew airplanes all over the world and drove hot cars and chased skinny, long-legged flight attendants and hunted and fished and went to topless bars and dated women half his age and drank Belgium beer and forty-year-old single malt scotch and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony and kept his house and guns and never got cheated on while he was at work and all of his friends thought he was unbelievably cool. And, he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.
The end
Posted by: paulmallon
Date: Dec 23 23
Once upon a time, a pilot asked a beautiful princess, “Will you marry me?
The princess said, “No!”
And the pilot lived happily ever after and played golf and flew airplanes all over the world and drove hot cars and chased skinny, long-legged flight attendants and hunted and fished and went to topless bars and dated women half his age and drank Belgium beer and forty-year-old single malt scotch and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony and kept his house and guns and never got cheated on while he was at work and all of his friends thought he was unbelievably cool. And, he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.
The end
18 replies. On page 1 of 1 pages. 1
fado72 
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Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up? Because DEC 25 = OCT 31 Reply #1. Dec 23 23, 6:36 PM |
paulmallon
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I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know what comes first. Reply #2. Dec 26 23, 1:53 PM |
| fado72
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What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause. Reply #3. Jan 01 24, 6:41 PM |
Cymruambyth
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What did the table say to the chair? Nothing. Furniture can't talk. Reply #4. Jan 02 24, 8:00 AM |
| paulmallon
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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers. If you do find one, what’s your plan? Reply #5. Jan 09 24, 4:03 PM |
| paulmallon
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I woke up this morning determined to drink less, eat right, and exercise. But that was four hours ago when I was younger and full of hope. Reply #6. Jan 10 24, 3:39 PM |
MarchHare007
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Why can't pirates learn the alphabet? Because they get lost at 'c'. Reply #7. Jan 12 24, 12:14 AM |
| paulmallon
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Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: CLOSE ENOUGH. Reply #8. Jan 12 24, 1:31 PM |
| paulmallon
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Last night the internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people. Reply #9. Jan 15 24, 9:32 AM |
| paulmallon
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We celebrated last night with a couple of adult beverages …… Metamucil and Ensure. Reply #10. Jan 15 24, 4:01 PM |
| paulmallon
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ARGUMENTS · A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. Reply #11. Jan 29 24, 4:09 PM |
| paulmallon
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Folks who have reached their 90th birthday should probably think twice before ordering any food "well done". Reply #12. Feb 27 24, 3:45 PM |
| fado72
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark? As far away as possible! Reply #13. Feb 29 24, 7:32 PM |
H53
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Q: What did one Frenchman say to the other while they waited for the crosswalk light? A: I have no idea. I don't speak French. Reply #14. Mar 10 24, 7:20 PM |
| Cymruambyth
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I'm so relieved. My doctor says I can buy green bananas. Reply #15. Mar 11 24, 11:47 AM |
| paulmallon
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Subject: Fw: Aging - A Process - I'm not laughing ?ROMANCE Barb was lying in bed one night. Al was falling asleep but Barb was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me...Al Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep. Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my Neck..." Angrily, Al threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. "Where are you going?" Barb asked.. "To get my teeth!" Reply #16. Mar 23 24, 3:40 PM |
frinkzappa
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I say I say I say! my friend has started twitching and swearing a lot lately and is convinced he is part of a tank.. so I says you have got Turrets syndrome ahem Reply #17. Apr 24 24, 12:21 PM |
| frinkzappa
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o.k then, I see Richard Dawkins has invented a new monster Atheistzilla cue tumbleweed Reply #18. Apr 28 24, 3:24 AM |
18 replies. On page 1 of 1 pages. 1
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