October 28, 2025... preparing for breaking news coverage... please stand by
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 | | ...tap tap... Is this thing on already? | |
Going on air in 10 minutes... get ready
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October 28, 2025 3:00pm
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| | Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. This is Kate Anchorous from the Quizzyland News Network with breaking information.
You may have heard rumors about war preparations going on around and beneath Quizzyland and we know you were all worried. It seems however that, at the last minute, some peacekeeping efforts have been successful and there are now rumors of a snap election happening for the office of... sorry, let me check my notes... lair?
Surely that must be wrong. Anyway, it seems that only two candidates have been nominated, Evi L. Twin and his son Junior. If you ask me, the latter should be too young to run for office, but he's been cleared, so let's just assume this all has been reviewed by the officials organizing this.
We shall bring you more updates as the situation becomes clearer.
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October 28, 2025 5:30pm
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| | Dear viewers,
the situation has been clarified some. We have received word that the two candidates have established campaign headquarters. Mr. Twin has of course set his in a meowsoleum on the central graveyard, while Mr. Junior decided to establish his premises underground.
The paths to these quarters are being kept clear so that anyone wishing to visit can do so at this time. However, we have received a warning that all scouting expeditions below the 19th floor of the Lost Levels are to immediately cease as the area has the potential to become a live-fire zone at short notice. If you should wish to access the Obsidian Tunnels or Lost Levels at this time, please use the west shaft only - the east one is being used for peacekeeping troop movements.
Please refrain from visiting the town hall to request voting documents for now; ballots will be distributed on election day.
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October 29, 2025 2:15am
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| | We have just received word of an important announcement by the Prime Guardian to the citizens of FunTrivia. Sir, can you enlighten us, please?
| |
 | | Good morning, citizens.
You may be rightfully concerned about this election suddenly happening, with two candidates that are not even citizens of Quizzyland. Rest assured this is not in any way related to a state office but rather a way to hopefully settle an ancient territorial claim dispute that continues to threaten our integrity. Please thus participate in the highest number possible and make the best choice for our future.
It should also not have to be mentioned that, if you consider funding candidates, you are requested to use only currency that you have legally obtained through sanctioned Quizzyland duties and activities and then changed at our official change bureaus. Any currency exchange fees have been waived for the duration of this event.
If you are not currently active in election affairs, please perform your duties and research as normal. There is currently no active threat situation except in the undiscovered reaches of the Lost Levels which have been cordoned off to all personnel.
May the knowledge be with you. Always. | |
| | Thank you so much for these words, Sir. Back to our regularly scheduled coverage.
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October 29, 2025, 9:10 am
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| | There has been some concern about a minor earthquake that shook the city at around 8 am. I have a direct line to the Tower Guardian now, he should have the best information for us. | |
 | | Good morning Mrs. Anchorous and thank you for inviting me to your broadcast.
Indeed, we have registered a small quake - magnitude 3.1 - in the Lost Levels. The reason is that one of the evil devices we had impounded and... repurposed against their constructors has been intentionally detonated at a reduced yield. Unfortunately this was not an act by our forces, but by someone else.
While this is no cause for immediate concern - we have several more - it still worries me a bit. It seems the enemy... or should I say enemies? does have some presence in the area and were able to get access to one of the bombs. I am however confident that the others are more securely located - the one that exploded this morning had gotten stuck in a shaft, so we had to arm it in place.
I repeat - there is no immediate danger to anyone. Continue with your preparations, citizens. | |
| | Thank you for taking the time to provide us with this update. I am sure these are distressing times for you. | |
October 29, 2025, 3:20 pm
BZZZT |
 | | ...nother of the explosives was set off, this time in room 20718. That leaves us only two... I fear we may not last until the 31st this way. | |
 | | Excuse me, what was that room number? | |
| | 20718, why? | |
| | *GULP*
That's where we keep the Masterpieces.... | |
| | Oh, don't worry, curator. We had them moved to the 18th level next to the castle furni... hello? Madam, this is a confidential meeting, how did you get in here? | |
 | | Excuse me, sir... I was coming for the press conference and needed to find the Ladies' room | |
| | Shen-Ze, you are on air! Could you please get where you need to be? And switch off that camera! | |
| | Oh no! There goes my career... | |
October 30, 2025 9:30 am
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| | Good morning dear viewers,
after a mostly eventless night, there has been another major subterranean explosion this morning and now we are receiving reports of gooish orange rain across the city. I am trying to reach someone at the control center for the latest information of whether this will require any protective measures...
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sound of phone ringing
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 | | Quizzyland Control, Sage Worison | |
| | Good morning sage and thank you for taking this call.
Do you already have any information about the orange matter that is raining on large areas of the city? | |
| | You are in luck, Mrs. Anchorous. We just received the analysis results and we found that this smelly substance is merely pumpkin - unfortunately it is also very old, stale and rotten pumpkin, so if anyone should get exposed, they should not try to eat it and take a good shower. | |
| | Old pumpkin? Just how old? | |
| | Our analysis places the estimate at eleven years, which makes it likely that this is the remains of the explosive pumpkins that have been discovered across the city in 2014. Unfortunately those were stocked directly beneath the western vent shaft and when they exploded, several tons of that matter blew out and is now raining down. | |
| | Oh dear. Half the city now looks orange... | |
| | Yes. But thankfully, this will wash off with the November rains. We estimate that only about three percent of the matter made it to the surface, so we are just glad they did not detonate back then. | |
| | Thank you for this update. I hope your remaining shift will not be too stressful. | |
October 30, 2025 HIGH NOON
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| | There has been another explosion! We are seeing massive plumes of smoke both to the north and the south of the city! Trying to reach the Guardian of the Tower... | |
| | Mrs. Anchorous? Sorry, this is a really bad time to call... I am dealing with some significant structural damage to the Diamond Dome! | |
| | You are up there. Can you see anything at those two locations where smoke is emerging? | |
| | Wait a second... yes... I see... a large zombie army emerging in the north led by the old silver menace. And... in the south... it looks like that golden guy is leading a similarly sized army of hypnotized humans... I would suggest that civilians evacuate immediately... sorry to run, but I have to secure some artifacts and call a Guardian meeting! | |
| | Kate Anchorous signing off... we're relocating to the emergency studio in the east. Tune in again in 45 minutes! | |
 | | STATIC | |
October 30, 2025 12:55 pm, QNN Channel 2...
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| | ...aaah there it is. Dang, I thought I would never need this manual.
Citizens of Quizzyland.
It saddens me to accounce that we came unprepared this year. In spite of all trust I placed on the Guardians and their preprations, the defenses have been breached and the battle is underway. Now we can only hope to survive. If you have not yet decided on a side, I can only recommend you choose the known evil over the unknown one. I am on my way to join Evi... see you on the other side... assuming you took the correct one. | |
October 30, 2025 12:55 pm, QNN Channel 1...
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| | Can anyone hear me?
It looks like QNN has not come back up yet. I am trying the emergency access...
We tried our best to prevent Catageddon... unfortunately the enemy was... the enemies were... stronger. We can now only play their game. After some lengthy soul-searching, I have decided to join Junior's side because mental enslavement might be reversible while zombification certainly is not. That's just the logical choice... so I hope you'll see it my way and we might someday break free. Let's hope something will be left over after this and I hope we can rebuild after this is over... Tower out! | |
October 31, 2025. 9:30 am
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| | Good morning again from QNN. I hope you have managed to get into a secure place.
If that should not yet be the case, you really should get on the move now as it seems both armies are getting ready to move. We are expecting them to reach the city by 2pm at the latest.
We have also heard that many notable citizens of Quizzyland have taken sides and are now at the respective army headquarters. We can only hope for their safe return, whichever side they have chosen. | |
October 31, 2025. 3:45 pm
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 | | This is Shen-Ze reporting in for QNN. I am at the main gate to the city and country where evacuations are still proceeding slowly but steadily. In spite of the impending war, there are also still knowledge-seekers wishing to get in. The attacks on the city, predicted for 2 pm, have so far not happened. I will try to speak to one of the displ... what was that? | |
A low, rumbling and stomping sound can be heard, quickly increasing in volume...
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| | Something is approaching from the north... it looks like a zombie army, with some light artillery support... they're trying to get to the gates! | |
 |
| | There is also something from the sou... oh no! Junior's army! They'll meet right... here! | |
 |
| | The armies look to be of even strength... it'll be apocalyptic... cat-astrophic... armageddon... just not good against evil but one evil cat against the other! Catageddon! | |
| | STATIC | |
November 1, 2025. 9:55 am
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 | | Shen-Ze reporting from QNN with a quick update. There has been intense fighting all night, but the armies seem limitless. Astonishingly, it seems that there are almost no deaths - the zombies and minions rather disintegrate when falling and both sides seem to be sparing the Quizzyland citizens. I have seen quite a few wounded, but that seemed to be rather unintentional and few look seriously hurt. It's just utter chaos however and I still cannot make out any shift in power towards either side.
At this time, we have not idea of the whereabouts of either of the evil overlords nor of any Guardians or other Quizzyland officials who have taken sides.
We'll keep you informed should things change! | |
November 2, 2025. 4:00 am
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| | Another battle update. There still is little change although the main front line has slightly moved north, which might indicate that Junior slightly has the upper hand. But it's too early to call.
I now have confirmation that Prime Guardian Terry is with Evi on the north while the Tower Guardian has been seen advising Junior at the southern headquarters. What however strikes me as odd is the behavior of the frontline commanders. They seem not to really take any actions - no one taking an initiative even in situations even some civilian like me would see a clear opportunity. As there is still numeric parity with those not-quite-human troops both side use, the only way something significant will happen if some of those commanders take the initiative. | |
Meanwhile, at the headquarters in the south... (don't ask who smuggled in the camera - the executive producer just said this has to be in the episode!)
|
 | | What I always wondered... where did you get so many minions? I mean, he has zombies. Those are easy to get. Dig up some graves and animate. But these minions... you gotta recruit them somewhere. | |
 | | Same source actually. Those millions who came to the gates of Quizzyland pretending to look for knowledge and then never progressing past the free food in the recruits' mess halls. When they finally move out, not having answered a question in years, they either wind up on his graveyard - or I get them first. Mweeheeheeheehee | |
| | Well, that means at least you aren't losing so far. Next question: Why are our front line commanders not really doing anything? From what I see from up here, there's so many advantages to be had. Actually, I wonder about his commanders as well. Everyone seems just happy to wait until both sides are out of resources - which, at this pace, could take months. | |
| | I've wondered that as well. But if I want their skills and judgement, I can't enslave them... they'll have to take the initiative on their own and carve out their own position in history. | |
| | So you mean, I could just... like go out there, get some flanking maneuvers done and this would be over? | |
| | You could. But you won't. Because, you see, even if they are not actually targeting commanders out there, it's still well too dangerous.
No, this is for them. Casting a vote, swearing allegiance. All fine and it if it's for me, I'll win at some point... but if they really want to change history, they have to get active. Guess that goes for his side, too.
As to you, I have other plans, for which I still need you in one piece... more wine? Mweeheeheeheehee | |
November 2, 2025 3:10 pm
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| | Good afternoon, citizens. There has just been a significant development: One of Junior's front line sections has collapsed. There looks to be a severely injured citizen general - a philosopher if I have read the rank badge correctly - on the ground, surrounded by... what's that? It looks like the minions got zombified and then fell on the spot. | |
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| | We have them surrounded! Attack! Now! With all you have! | |
| | What a clever ruse! A whole brigade of zombie troops, surrounded in minutes by a vastly smaller force. Lured into a trap... I hope we will find out later who that commanding officer is - what a brilliant move! And she's no slouch with the sword either... that's been at least twenty she has dispatched on her own... thirty... | |
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| | Advance! Fight! For Junior! | |
| | There's a serious gash in Evi's front line now. Neighboring units are exploiting the weakness and gaining terrain. Did we just experience the decisive move? | |
back in a certain headquarter where there should really be no camera...
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| | It's on! One of them found their courage... what a beautiful move! | |
| | picks up binoculars and takes a good at the evolving rout
I recognize her! Kaddarsgirl! One of the best and most talented out there. If anyone could have come up with something as sneaky as this "defeated zombie" disguise, it is her... you were right. Now we just need more of those! | |
| | Don't rejoice too early. Someone on his side might feel inspired to greatness too... it'll only be over when it's over. But this is definitely worth a toast! Chmweeheeheers! | |
November 3, 2025 just after midnight, in another headquarter, further north (there shouldn't be a camera there either, but somehow one made it in...)
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 | | This is not looking good at all... they're at the outer walls of the graveyard now. Let's have a last good dinner. | |
 | | Excellent fish for sure... my compliments. But I would not call it "last" dinner. I have seen a few things while I was checking out the flooded catacombs... I think those gold-fur fanboys and -girls might be in for a rude surprise... | |
| | They'd better get moving... that one wall section is not stable any more | |
Sound of a rather misaligned motorcycle engine, quickly getting louder... followed by munching, growling and shuffling sounds.
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| | Who are you? And why would you disturb us? | |
| | Technical Sergeant F6FHellcat at your service, sire... my enhanced zombie food is finally ready... they're ravenous... and ready to fight! | |
| | Just what we need. Take them outside, to the southern wall, and attack those invaders! | |
| | Good work for a young one like you. But, please make sure none of that gets into my pool.... I'm allergic to spoiled brains - I want only the finest minds, and, if I may say so, still inside their heads. Like yours! | |
| | Turning south, aye, aye! | |
The contraption, along with its owner, drives off, leaving more misfired engine noise and a smelly petrol cloud in its wake. From a distance, enthusiastic shouting can be heard...
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| | FEAST! GROW STRONGER ON ABNORMAL BRAINS! FOR EVI! | |
| | Where were we? | |
November 3, 2025 3:33 am. At the south wall. A QNN drone camera is recording a chaotic battle. Where, just minutes ago, Junior's minion troops were ramming through the walls, they are now fleeing from an onslaught of fresh, frenzied, super-strength zombies.
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 | | Finally! Some forces! I waited for that opportunity! Blow the trumpets! | |
An apocalyptic brass instrument sounds. Suddenly, in various places, prepared walls rise from the floor, confining the fleeing troops into a small space with nowhere to turn except right into the weapons of the frenzied zombies. The result is as one-sides as it has to be. The minions and their leaders soon have their back to the walls and their numbers are dwindling quickly.
|
| | picks up a radio handset
Sire! Princeps ponycargirl with good news for you. The double circumvallation is in place and it's not pleasant. For them, that is. I expect to be done with them by noon... and then we march! | |
| | Yes! Retake the Lair! Show Nermal, err, Junior what true evil looks like! | |
| | It's on! One of them found their courage... what a beautiful move! | |
November 3, 2025 2:30 pm. At that other place where there should not have been a camera...
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| | Kaddarsgirl sent a call for help! Some creative Evi followers have cornered her forces and they can't escape... she's desperate enough to prepare a suicide attack! Help her - when I joined you, you said you wouldn't let any of your followers die! | |
| | Did I really say that, mweeheeheeheehee? | |
| | Yes, you did! And I have it on video... so don't try to break your promise now! | |
| | Okay, fine, fine...
speaks into a microphone
General Lunitoonz? | |
 | | At your service, sire! | |
| | Are you ready to ride? | |
| | Any time you wish! But... there's this issue with the newly erected wall. I need to get over it. And I could use a weapon of mass zombie destruction, too. I am a mere valkyrie and I have a horse, not a Sleipnir, after all! | |
| | Zombies are affected by fire, right?
Turns to the Tower Guardian
You wouldn't happen to have a few fresh, unused, prestige available? This spell requires some and I have been... busy... elsewhere. | |
| | Let me see... you're in luck. I have four from an investment that matured today! Would that be enough? | |
| | Four? That's more than I need for both spells. Pretty much all of those things can get by with one... I think I can power them up some more than I thought! | |
Five minutes and some significant magical energy later...
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| | That would be this taken care of. Now ride and free Kaddarsgirl! | |
| | On my way! | |
Another twelve minutes and 26 seconds later... back at the wall where Kaddarsgirl is just preparing a last-ditch explosive pumpkin effort... the wall she thought would be the only one...
|
 | | Out of my way! Heavy incoming fire! Friendly troops, take cover! | |
Some all too quick action on the ground... especially in the vicinity of a certain, almost finished breach in the inner wall...
|
| | Is that what I think it is? If anyone is near that pumpkin... RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! | |
17 seconds later... a barrage of fire hits the prepared explosive which promptly detonates a bit earlier than its creator envisioned... taking a few thousand enhanced zombies with it
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| | YEE-HAW! That wall is history... now we just need to take care of the outer one! | |
