"South Park" - "A Ladder to Heaven" Quiz

Answer: candy

Stan, Kyle, and Cartman arrived at the candy shop to take advantage of the shopping spree they'd won in a raffle, but were told they couldn't get the prize without presenting their half of the raffle ticket. Unfortunately, they'd left the ticket with Kenny for safekeeping and he'd died!

Answer: cremated in an urn

At first, Cartman didn't understand, and asked, "You turned him into a teapot?"

Answer: drank them

When the boys opened the urn and spilled the ashes on the table, Cartman tasted some and determined it to be chocolate milk mix. After Stan and Kyle left, Cartman got some milk and stirred the ashes into it and drank them!

Answer: to see Kenny

The sweet naiveté of the endeavor brought every adult in South Park (except Mr. Garrison) to tears.

Answer: September 11th

The reporter introduced him: "Alan Jackson is, of course, the man who wrote the song, 'Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning?' about the tragedies on September 11th. And now he's here once again to capitalize on people's emotions."

Answer: brain cancer

Cartman seemed a little worried, but Stan wasn't terribly sensitive: "Don't get cancer on the ladder, Cartman. You're gonna fall off and break it."

Answer: Japan

The Japanese news correspondent reported, "Ahready, the Japanese radder extend faaar into space and is growing by a one thousand miles every day. As the endeavor continues it is becoming clear that Japan will reach a-hayben before the United States." Then, with the poise expected of a reporter, the correspondent stuck out his tongue and spit at the American effort!

Answer: no

They told the crowd that they had run out of "stuff" but could keep building if they tore down houses for wood. Their parents were preparing to tell them they'd never get to Heaven when the US military arrived on the scene, offering their services to help the boys "beat those Japs!"

Answer: pixie fairies

Cartman suggested that they weren't seeing Heaven because one of them didn't believe enough. Just like "the pixie fairies of Bubble Yum Forest, you only see them if you really believe in them." Stan was still confused, so Cartman explained his theory further: "You know, maybe we're not seeing Heaven because one of us is a J-O-O." Kyle rejected Cartman's logic, pointing out that Jews do believe in Heaven, "just not a Christian Heaven." Cartman retorted, "Right. Your idea of Heaven is getting five dollars off your matzah ball soup at Barney's Beanery by lying about a hair in it." Kyle, fed up, punched Cartman and induced another flashback.

Answer: In the Ghetto

This was seemingly a flashback to the episode, "Chickenpox", where the boys were sent to stay with Kenny in order to contract chickenpox. On the way to Kenny's house, Cartman sang Elvis Presley's "In the Ghetto". It clearly made Kenny mad, as he yelled angrily at Cartman.

As Cartman snapped out of the flashback, he was still speaking as Kenny, yelling "Shut up, Cartman, you blood-belching vagina!"

Answer: a seagull

The General explained that the recon team on the ladder had found evidence that Hussein was building weapons of mass destruction in Heaven. He showed the president photos, pointing out a missile silo and "what looks like a laboratory of some sort for making chemical weapons." Cheney looked at the photos of clouds and observed, "That... kinda looks like a seagull." The General agreed, "Yes.

It could be a laboratory disguised as a seagull." The General then advocated bombing Heaven!

Answer: Unplanned Parenthood

After realizing what he'd done, Cartman resolved, "I can't live like this. I... I have to find a place where they remove living souls from your body." He then walked into Unplanned Parenthood and tried to make an appointment. When a man, angry that Cartman's antics in the lobby had discouraged his girlfriend from going through with an abortion, hit Cartman on the head with a rock, it triggered another flashback.

This time, Cartman saw where Kenny had hidden the ticket!

Answer: Mormons

President Bush was trying to get UN approval to bomb Heaven, but was facing a tough crowd:
Bush: "Ladies and gentlemen of the UN, we have evidence that Saddam Hussein is up there building weapons of mass destruction. We have tried to communicate with Saddam through a psychic to ask him to let us see his warehouses in Heaven. But he has not responded."
Indian Ambassador: "Of course he has not responded because he's dead!"
Bush: "Right. Dead, and in Heaven."
Ambassador 2: "This is preposterous! Even if there was a Heaven, what makes you think Saddam Hussein's soul would be sent there?"
Bush: "Our intelligence tells us that when Saddam was originally killed, his soul actually went to Hell. But while in Hell, he began a homosexual relationship with Satan, the Prince of Darkness. Satan, however, decided he didn't want to be with Hussein anymore and broke up with him around August. When Saddam became jealous and tried to kill Satan's new lover, Chris, Satan had Saddam sent to Heaven to live with Mormons as a punishment. Questions? Yes?"
Ambassador 3: "Are you high, or just incredibly stupid?"
Bush: "I assure you, I am not high."

Answer: no

Though Japan reported having reached Heaven, and tried to claim it as part of Japan, it was just a set they'd created in their news studio with clouds and people hanging from wires.

Answer: yes

God visited him to check on his activities after hearing rumors that Saddam was building weapons of mass destruction in Heaven. Saddam claimed his project was a "chocolate chip factory." God persisted that it looked "like a chemical weapons plant." Saddam replied, "Look, God, if I was gonna secretly build a chemical weapons plant, I wouldn't make it look like a chemical weapons plant, would I? I'd make it look like a chocolate chip factory or something." God seemed a bit reluctant but ultimately accepted Saddam's logic, saying "...Alright, just checking" as he disappeared. Alone again to continue his business, Saddam snickered to himself, "Stupid asshole!"