Schoolyard Taunts, Rhymes, and Songs 1 Quiz

Answer: One's pants

'Liar, liar, pants on fire, hangin' from a telephone wire.' (My wife insists the verse reads 'tongue as long as a telephone wire,' but we'll chalk that up to regional degeneracy). This taunt dates back to the Spanish Inquisition, when those who lied were made to suffer the 'auto de fe,' ie, burned alive.

The telephone reference dates back to 1890, when telephones were on a party system, and the veracity of your statements could be confirmed by eavesdropping neighbors.

Answer: In a tree

For instance: Czolgolz and Brittany, sittin' in a tree/ K-I-S-S-I-N-G/ first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Brittany with a baby carriage.

The tree in the song is clearly a reference to the Biblical tree of the Knowlege of Good and Evil, ie, lost innocence. See the book of Genesis for the complete story.

Answer: German

This is from the first World War, when all things German were suspect in America. German goods were considered sub-par, or counterfeit.

Answer: Monkey

'Happy birthday to you, you belong in a zoo, you look like a monkey, you smell like one too.' The song originated with the 18th century British navy. Sailors as young as eight years old would work as 'powder monkeys,' doing menial jobs on board. When they reached the age of twelve they would be eligible for more interesting work.

The older sailors would celebrate their promotion with this song.

Answer: Row, Row, Row Your Boat

'Row, row, your boat, gently down the stream/throw your teacher overboard and listen to her scream/ two days later floatin' down the Delaware/ chewin' on her underwear/ wish she had another pair/ five days later eaten by a polar bear/ that's how the polar bear died.'

The song dates from 1952. The bear is a clear reference to Communist Russia, and their military action against Finland.

Answer: Jingle Bells

'Jingle bells/ Batman smells/ Robin laid an egg/ Batmobile lost a wheel/ and Joker got away.' Alternate ending: Blow your nose in Cheerios and eat them right away.

This song dates from 1970. The Joker is Bob Dylan. See Don McClean's 'American Pie' for details.

Answer: On Top of Old Smokey

'On top of Old Smokey, all covered with blood/ I shot my poor teacher with a .44 slug.' Dated from 1963, it commemorates the murder of Lee Harvey Oswald by Jack Ruby ('Old Smokey' was the nickname of the Texas electric chair).

Answer: Deck the Halls

'Deck the halls with gasoline/ strike a match and watch it gleam/ watch the school burn down to ashes/ aren't you glad you played with matches?'

Reference: The 1949 Coconut Grove nightclub fire, where over 800 died.

Answer: A snake

'Cinderella, dressed in yella', went upstairs to kiss a fella'/ made a mistake and kissed a snake/ how many doctors did it take?'

1938. A reference to Chamberlain's appeasement of Hitler.

Answer: boo boo

This rhyme is meaningless. By the way, I completely made up all the stories behind the other questions as well. They're just silly little poems someone came up with.