Answer: "Dying or about to die."
Later Alan 'proves' that the show is not moribund by asking the audience and by strapping himself to the 'Wheel of Death'.
From Quiz: Alan Partridge - The Man, The Myth, The Legend!
Answer: Return of the Saint
From the episode 'Never say Alan again', where he agrees to take Lynn to her mother's grave but only gives her ten minutes.
From Quiz: 'I'm Alan Partridge' A-haaaa
Answer: Sprunt
Alan's illegal advertisement of Sprunt goes horribly wrong for him when he finds himself in the jacuzzi with 'Hot Pants'. Alan had thought that they were women, but it turned out that they were not. He looks distinctly uncomfortable.
From Quiz: Alan Partridge - The Man, The Myth, The Legend!
Answer: Michael
Michael is a geordie who worked at the Travel Tavern where Alan stayed in the first series. Then at the petrol station in the second.
From Quiz: 'I'm Alan Partridge' A-haaaa
Answer: Fitness Instructor
'He drinks that yellow stuff in tins. He's an idiot'
From Quiz: 'I'm Alan Partridge!'
Answer: 'KMKYWAP'
KMKYWAP stands for 'Knowing Me Knowing You With Alan Partridge'.
From Quiz: Alan Partridge - The Man, The Myth, The Legend!
Answer: Back of the net
This is where Alan meets one his high school classmates and tries to impress him.
From Quiz: 'I'm Alan Partridge' A-haaaa
Answer: Knowing Me, Knowing You
From Quiz: 'I'm Alan Partridge!'
Answer: We never find out
We never actually find out what Alan keeps in the drawer... but the mind reels in a number of unpleasant directions! Lynn accidentally opens it and Sophie steals a peek, but the audience is not let in on the contents. The hotel staff is also found crowding around it at Alan's leaving party.
From Quiz: Alan Partridge - The Man, The Myth, The Legend!
Answer: Jurassic Park
This is from the last episode of series one. Tony Hayes (the head of the BBC) has just died from falling off his roof and one of his old friends takes over his job and offers his TV slot back.
From Quiz: 'I'm Alan Partridge' A-haaaa
Answer: Cheese
'Smell my cheese you mutha!'
From Quiz: 'I'm Alan Partridge!'
Answer: "Smell my cheese."
Alan: [Sniffs the large block of cheese on the end of his fork] "Mmm. Quite nice. Smells. Do you want to smell it?" [He offers the cheese to Tony.]
Tony: "No thanks."
Alan: "Smell the cheese."
Tony: "No I don't want to."
Alan: [More forcefully] "Smell my cheese!"
Tony: "Alan, please."
[Alan stands up thrusting the cheese at Tony]
Alan: [Shouting] "Smell my cheese, you mother!"
The lap dancing scenes are (fortunately for Alan's already fairly damaged career) all in his head.
From Quiz: Alan Partridge - The Man, The Myth, The Legend!
Answer: Lynx Africa
We find this out when he meets his old high school headmaster. Alan tells Dan he uses Lynx Java.
From Quiz: 'I'm Alan Partridge' A-haaaa
Answer: "Beefburgers."
Funnily enough, all of these answers have been involved in the conversation with Peter. The mutated plums are from Alan's accusation that Peter has plums in his mouth... "and the plums have mutated and they've got beaks". The spinal column in a bap one is from Alan's assertation that a farmer that didn't laugh at his joke must have eaten an infected spinal column in a bap and that it was this that hade made him a little slow on the uptake. Chips are another unlikely foodstuff that Alan accuses Peter of feeding to his animals, but it is donkeys that Alan thinks Peter feeds chips to, not swans.
From Quiz: Alan Partridge - The Man, The Myth, The Legend!
Answer: Ladyboy
After meeting with some people who want to hire him to present one of their holiday videos, he's already ordered some drinks for him and Lynn. So to look more masculine he orders a pint of lager and mixes all of them and makes up the name.
From Quiz: 'I'm Alan Partridge' A-haaaa
Answer: Jet
From Quiz: 'I'm Alan Partridge!'
Answer: Fernando
We find this out from the first series one after he phones him up.
From Quiz: 'I'm Alan Partridge' A-haaaa
Answer: Lexus
He is very proud of what he drives.
From Quiz: 'I'm Alan Partridge' A-haaaa
Answer: Bono
Unfortunately his ruse is uncovered by a very poor impersonation by one of Lynn's Baptist friends.
From Quiz: Alan Partridge - The Man, The Myth, The Legend!
Answer: Farmers
From the first series, he upsets them after saying that they sell spinal columns in baps and do experiments on chickens to make them bigger.
From Quiz: 'I'm Alan Partridge' A-haaaa
Answer: Mince
'Oooooooh Mince'!
From Quiz: 'I'm Alan Partridge!'
Answer: Walking away from the pulping plant after seeing 'Bouncing Back' being pulped.
Alan appears to take this latest disappointment quite well. Perhaps the best he's ever taken anything that hasn't gone his way.
It's a minor miracle that he didn't get sacked from Radio Norwich, considering the numbers of complaints from farmers and his regular outbursts during conversations with Dave Clifton (played superbly by Phil Cornwell).
From Quiz: Alan Partridge - The Man, The Myth, The Legend!
Answer: Climbing over a fence
After proving that the security is terrible at his country club, he gets denied access after the last time he said he was part of the IRA. He's supposed to be hosting a presentation and attempts to climb over an iron fence and slips.
From Quiz: 'I'm Alan Partridge' A-haaaa
Answer: Cook Pass Babtridge
From Quiz: 'I'm Alan Partridge!'
Answer: Radio Norwich
From Quiz: 'I'm Alan Partridge!'
Answer: He was trying to steal a traffic cone
Policeman: 'Where are you going now?' Alan: 'I'm going to go home, and just probably go straight to bed and keep out of trouble'
From Quiz: 'I'm Alan Partridge!'
Answer: Close To You
From Quiz: 'I'm Alan Partridge!'
Answer: Chris Morris
From Quiz: 'I'm Alan Partridge!'