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Quiz about Die Laughing
Quiz about Die Laughing

Die Laughing Trivia Quiz


Death is no laughing matter, unless you happen to be a comedian. See if you can match the quips with the person attributed with saying them and hopefully you too will be laughing in the face of death.

A matching quiz by Mightybear. Estimated time: 3 mins.
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Author
Mightybear
Time
3 mins
Type
Match Quiz
Quiz #
411,230
Updated
Dec 16 22
# Qns
10
Difficulty
Average
Avg Score
7 / 10
Plays
311
Awards
Top 35% Quiz
Last 3 plays: Guest 135 (1/10), ptc123 (10/10), Minister (10/10).
(a) Drag-and-drop from the right to the left, or (b) click on a right side answer box and then on a left side box to move it.
You cannot keep a good joke down. I am aware that some of these quotes have been attributed to more than one person or that some may well be apocryphal so some of these quotes need to be matched to those best associated with the one-liners. Have fun!
QuestionsChoices
1. "Some sad news from Australia: the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today."  
  Johnny Carson
2. "it's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."  
  Steven Wright
3. "I always remember the last words of my grandfather who said "a truck!"  
  Joan Rivers
4. "I intend to live forever, or die trying."  
  Bob Monkhouse
5. "At my funeral I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents."  
  Stan Laurel
6. "Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours."  
  Groucho Marx
7. "I'm glad he died before me because I didn't want him singing at my funeral."  
  Yogi Berra
8. "If anyone at my funeral has a long face I will never speak to them again."  
  Emo Phillips
9. "I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my father. Not screaming and terrified like his passengers."  
  Woody Allen
10. "My uncle was a clown for Ringling brothers' circus and when he died all his friends went to the funeral in one car."  
  Spike Milligan





Select each answer

1. "Some sad news from Australia: the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today."
2. "it's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."
3. "I always remember the last words of my grandfather who said "a truck!"
4. "I intend to live forever, or die trying."
5. "At my funeral I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents."
6. "Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours."
7. "I'm glad he died before me because I didn't want him singing at my funeral."
8. "If anyone at my funeral has a long face I will never speak to them again."
9. "I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my father. Not screaming and terrified like his passengers."
10. "My uncle was a clown for Ringling brothers' circus and when he died all his friends went to the funeral in one car."

Most Recent Scores
Mar 26 2024 : Guest 135: 1/10
Mar 25 2024 : ptc123: 10/10
Mar 22 2024 : Minister: 10/10
Mar 13 2024 : Guest 73: 1/10
Mar 12 2024 : Guest 144: 0/10
Mar 10 2024 : MargW: 4/10
Mar 01 2024 : camhammer: 6/10
Feb 28 2024 : Guest 174: 3/10
Feb 23 2024 : Aiyetoro: 10/10

Quiz Answer Key and Fun Facts
1. "Some sad news from Australia: the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today."

Answer: Johnny Carson

Johnny Carson pioneered the celebrity chat show format in which the host added their own bag of jokes and barbed witticisms aimed at his guests. He hosted the Tonight show between 1962 and 1992 perfecting a format not only emulated in the US but throughout the world.
2. "it's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."

Answer: Woody Allen

This quote has been attributed to several other comedians including Britain's Spike Milligan, featured elsewhere in this quiz.

Certainly plagiarism isn't unknown on the comedy circuit, indeed many comics were flattered when a 'heavyweight' comic used one of their lines.

The legendary Al Jolson took it a stage further, sending his agents around the stand-up circuit and not only using their best material but also applying to copyright the jokes and then banning the author from using their own material.

This line was published in one of Allen's earliest works 'Death' a one-Act play published in 1975.
3. "I always remember the last words of my grandfather who said "a truck!"

Answer: Emo Phillips

US comedian Emo Phillips' fame peaked in the 1980s, briefly finding fame in Europe as well as the US.

His surrealism and neurotically weird stage persona meant that he was never going to become established as fully mainstream.

For the connoisseur of surreal humour he has some jokes to rival the Monty Python's uncanniness. My favourite Phillips joke is: "a computer beat me at chess but was no match for me at kickboxing".
4. "I intend to live forever, or die trying."

Answer: Groucho Marx

Julius "Groucho" Marx was arguably America's greatest comedian and undoubtedly master of the one liner.

HIs virtuoso performances in movies like 'Duck Soup' were entirely improvised.

Groucho found it impossible not to make a joke out of any situation, however bad. When he and his daughter were refused entry to a swimming baths because he was Jewish he used his wit to cut through the illogicality of intolerance with the retort: "Well, my daughter is half-Jewish - can she go in up to her waist?"

Groucho's witticisms are very distinctive, having both a particular rhythm and use of conjunctions to deliver the killer punchline. Consider this great quote from 'A Day at the Races' (checking the patient's pulse): "Either he's dead or my watch has stopped".
5. "At my funeral I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents."

Answer: Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers rose to prominence in the mid 1960s on the 'Tonight' programme hosted by Johnny Carson.

Joan was not only an accomplished stand-up comic but also turned her hand to acting, writing, production and hosting her own chat show. She found success both in the US as well as in the UK.

Joan built a career on pushing boundaries, often controversial. Her humour was both waspish and self-deprecating. A lot of her best jokes are a bit too near the knuckle to repeat here, although this one is pretty good:
"When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off."
6. "Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours."

Answer: Yogi Berra

I cannot decide whether Lawrence Peter "Yogi" Berra was an intentional or unintentional genius.

Apart from being one of the all time greats as a baseball catcher for the New York Yankees he was also a hugely successful coach. It is unusual for great players to become great coaches but Yogi Berra was a giant in both fields.

If that was not enough he coined some of the funniest and most used one liners on the planet. The phrase "It ain't over 'til it's over" is a phrase so commonly used that I assumed it's always been part of modern speech but this is but one of the great lines he come up with.

As I say, his sayings are very funny although I cannot decide whether they were intended or not. Irrespective, his one liners are some of the funniest you will find anywhere. Here's one of my favourites: "When you come to a fork in the road - take it". Pure genius.
7. "I'm glad he died before me because I didn't want him singing at my funeral."

Answer: Spike Milligan

Spike Milligan was one of the founder members of the Goons along with Peter Sellers, Michael Bentine and Harry Secombe, who also carved out a career as a singer. The Goons were trailblazers in absurd humour and were one of the key inspirations for Monty Python. He was notoriously unpredictable and anarchic in his humour which often got him into trouble with TV and radio stations who struggled to control this unruly but brilliant comic.

He did a brilliantly funny cameo for the Pythons in their movie "The Life of Brian" although, unpredictable as ever, failed to turn up for the afternoon's filming to complete the shot. What was filmed made the final cut.

Spike cared little for what people thought of him and so would often say outrageous things. Prince Charles (now King Charles III) was a keen fan of the Goons and become a close friend of Spike. On being handed a lifetime award at the 1994 Comedy Awards and having a letter read to him from the (then) Prince of Wales, an unphased Spike called him "a grovelling little bastard" which brought the house down. The clip is available on You Tube - see it for yourself.

Spike is credited by Professor Richard Wiseman with writing the funniest joke in the world. The comment by the way was made upon hearing of the death of fellow Goon, Harry Secombe and was vintage Spike Milligan. Ironically, when Spike himself died in 2002 a recording of one of Harry's songs was played at his funeral.
8. "If anyone at my funeral has a long face I will never speak to them again."

Answer: Stan Laurel

Stan Laurel was born Arthur S. Jefferson in Ulverston. Best known for his partnership with Oliver Hardy they were best known for their slapstick humour, although Stan would take his art very seriously, writing and re-writing his lines, Ollie would prefer to play golf and turn up when he had to in order to deliver his lines.

Stan's jokes were usually ridiculous statements like "A lot of weather we're having lately" or "you can bring a horse to water but a pencil must be lead".

The genius of Laurel and Hardy was their timing which turned the simple act of falling over into an act of hilarity. The pair made it look natural and effortless where, in fact, pulling off such moves are very hard and left to many lesser comics look contrived and unconvincing.
9. "I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my father. Not screaming and terrified like his passengers."

Answer: Bob Monkhouse

Better known in the UK than the US, Bob Monkhouse was a stand up comic and TV personality, predominantly as host to game shows.

He was a prolific writer of gags and a keen supporter of comics from 'over the pond'. Amongst others he introduced Jim Carrey, Kelly Monteith and Robin Williams to the UK.

He also wrote jokes for American and Canadian comedians, most famously for Bob Hope when he performed in the UK.

Bob Monkhouse's stand-up style was quickfire and has been copied by several UK comics, notably Jimmy Carr. I think my favourite Bob Monkhouse joke is "People laughed when I told them I wanted to be a comic. Well they're not laughing now."
10. "My uncle was a clown for Ringling brothers' circus and when he died all his friends went to the funeral in one car."

Answer: Steven Wright

In the same way the Bob Monkhouse is best know in the UK, so Steven Wright is better known in the USA, which is a shame. Steven's deadpan delivery is the perfect counter-point to his absurd sense of humour.

Despite winning numerous awards and being considered by critics 'stateside' to be one of America's finest his wit has somehow failed to be appreciated outside of his home country. It's baffling when you consider such gems as these:
"Whenever I think about the past it just brings back so many memories." and;
"I remember the day the candle shop burnt down. Everybody just stood around and sang 'Happy birthday'." and; "I bought some powdered water but I don't know what to add" and "If you were in a vehicle travelling at the speed of light and you turned the lights on, would they do anything?"

That final brilliant line came from Steven's explosion onto the American consciousness on 'Friday Night Live' in 1982, introduced by Johnny Carson. Which brings me full circle.
Source: Author Mightybear

This quiz was reviewed by FunTrivia editor skunkee before going online.
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