The Finer Points of Sausage Dogs Quiz

Answer: Arkansas

Prinzel gets an invitation to speak at a conference at the University of San Antonio. Von Igelfeld feels that this will change American views of Germans for the worse, so he plans to go to America before Prinzel and make sure that Americans feel good about Germans. Von Igelfeld plans to get an invite by contacting a local institute (as suggested by Unterholzer), and he is quickly set up as a guest speaker at a university in Fayetteville, Arkansas two weeks earlier than Prinzel's visit to Texas.

Answer: Professor Igelfold

When Von Igelfeld arrives in Arkansas, he stays with Professor R. B. Leflar. Before the conference, Leflar takes Von Igelfeld around Arkansas visiting farms filled with pigs and chickens in order to talk about their diets. Von Igelfeld finds this odd, but he decides that it's okay since he's never experienced American culture.

At the conference, he is asked about his upcoming talk about sausage dogs, and he realizes that the institute that set up the talk made a mistake with his name. Everyone thought he was the late Professor Igelfold, the world's leading expert on the sausage dog. With fifteen minutes before his talk, he was nervous, but he pulled it together with useless information about sausage dogs. Surprisingly, the audience was thrilled with the easy-to-understand information and the ideas that 'Igelfold' had about sausage dogs.

He was even invited back for another talk.

Answer: Hotel Angst

After the conference in Arkansas, Von Igelfeld gets a note from Leflar in Germany. The note says that Leflar is visiting Germany, and immediately, Von Igelfeld became worried. After all, he was accidentally known as the world's leading (and deceased) authority on sausage dogs in the world. Von Igelfeld decides to show Leflar around during his stay, but he tries to prevent him from visiting the institute where he works as a romance philologist.

He also plans to keep Prinzel and Unterholzer away from him for the duration.

Answer: Turkey

On one of the days during Leflar's Germany trip, Von Igelfeld planned a trip to the nearby Veterinary Institute. Although he was minutely worried that the tour guide might make Von Igelfeld accidentally reveal that he was no expert on sausage dogs, he remained confident that it was a good idea. During the tour, the three talked about the institute's latest programme based on researching the genetics of degenerative diseases in turkeys, and they discussed different chemical formulas used during the process.

The tour guide rushed off to a meeting, and as Von Igelfeld was taking Leflar to the door, a young man rushed up to the professor requiring his assistance. Since the young man was unskilled to perform an operation on a wounded sausage dog, Von Igelfeld was forced to assist him with Leflar watching.

They attempted to calmly amputate the fractured leg, but the wrong leg was taken off. In the end of the procedure, only one leg remained. Von Igelfeld felt that this was only a minor setback and remained calm, but when he realized that the owner of the sausage dog was Unterholzer, he knew his lies would be revealed.

Answer: False

After the incident with Unterholzer's sausage dog, Von Igelfeld had a hard time communicating with his friend. They often took verbal jabs at each other in order to feel better, but it never seemed to help the fact that Unterholzer had to oil his dog's prosthetic legs every morning.

When Von Igelfeld sat down with his latest issue of 'The Zeitschrift', he ended up finding an article written by Unterholzer called 'Irregular Verbs: Flaws in the Von Igelfeld Hypothesis'. This, of course, sent Von Igelfeld over the edge.

He decided to play it cool at first and pretend that he never noticed or read the article, but he continued to see Unterholzer happy around other people. It wasn't until Von Igelfeld talked to a local librarian that he found out that Unterholzer had been seeing a psychoanalyst. Von Igelfeld decided to visit Dr. Hubertoffel (just in case he could dig up any info or possibly see if they were in the plan together), and during the appointment, he couldn't help but think of the sausage dog.

Answer: At a military school

During his visit with the psychoanalyst, Dr. Hubertoffel, Von Igelfeld attempted to make a story about his life. He pretended that he had to attend a strict military school where he attempted to protect a bullied student named Unterholzer. This shocked the doctor, who remained quiet about the situation, and Von Igelfeld left optimistic because he'd gotten back at Unterholzer. While walking home, he looked into the window of a bookshop and saw the title "Truth: A Philosophical Defence". Feeling guilty, Von Igelfeld went to a church and sat in the confessional where he was absolved of his sins.

He decided to write a letter of apology to Dr. Hubertoffel and apologize to Unterholzer for both the sausage dog incident and the psychoanalyst ordeal. Unterholzer was glad that Von Igelfeld did this and in the next issue of 'The Zeitschrift', there was an article from Unterholzer about the positive points of "Portuguese Irregular Verbs".

Answer: Beatrice

After the psychoanalyst incident, Von Igelfeld was asked to go to Italy with the Prinzels. When they stopped in beautiful Siena, Von Igelfeld was approached by the Duke of Johannesburg while admiring a view and they discovered a mutual acquaintance. The Duke invited Von Igelfeld to a small party which he decided to attend. Before the party, Von Igelfeld and the Prinzels decided to visit a cathedral library before the Japanese tourists flocked to the attraction, and they debated the qualities of hedgehogs. Since the 'Igel' in Von Igelfeld's name literally translates to hedgehog, he tries to defend the creature, but the argument is cut short when Japanese tourists try to get their pictures taken with Von Igelfeld and other tall Germans. During the party, Von Igelfeld is introduced to the Duke of Johannesburg's attractive assistant, Beatrice. Von Igelfeld is quite smitten with her, and Prinzel later comments that many people don't hire research assistants for academic capabilities (which Von Igelfeld is unsure of).

He is also introduced to an Orthodox priest known as the Patriarch of Alexandria before dinner. The following morning, Von Igelfeld reflects on the previous night's conversations about schisms and the story of the Holy House, and he wonders if he believes in what was said the night before.

Answer: A waiter

Before leaving for Rome, Von Igelfeld decided to travel through the alleys of Siena, and because of this, he ran into the Patriarch of Alexandria, whom he'd met the night before. The Patriarch took him to an isolated courtyard and asked him for a favor. Von Igelfeld was given a reliquary and was asked to hold onto it for a month so that he could return it to the Patriarch in Rome. The reliquary contained the bones of St. Nicholas, the Bishop of Myra in Turkey in the fourth century, and since the bones could fall into the wrong hands if the Patriarch held onto them during his business in Siena, they'd be safer with Von Igelfeld in Rome. Von Igelfeld was intrigued that he would be carrying the bones of the man who modeled Father Christmas and accepted the challenge.
The following day, on the way to Rome, the Prinzels and Von Igelfeld stopped for lunch, and Von Igelfeld carried an overnight bag containing the reliquary to their seat. The Prinzels inquired about what was in the bag, and the waiter of the table was also concerned that Von Igelfeld was a terrorist, so they decided to leave feeling that their lunch had been spoiled. Unluckily, Von Igelfeld accidentally forgot the bag under his seat on their departure and the waiter returned it to him saying that he looked inside for the safety of his customers. Von Igelfeld decided to reveal the fact to the Prinzels so that they could help him, and they too were excited about this.

In Rome, Von Igelfeld spent most of his time studying manuscripts in the Vatican Library, but this was halted on the third day when a noisy patron of the library interrupted his work. When he was finally fed up with it, Von Igelfeld walked over to the man and shushed him for being too loud. The next day, Von Igelfeld was embarrassed that the man he shushed was in fact the Pope. Von Igelfeld instantly demanded that he apologize, and the next day we met with Cardinal Ponthez de Cuera to do this. The Cardinal greatly admired Von Igelfeld's work and suggested that they have lunch before introducing him to the Pope himself. After a small coffee break with the Pope, Von Igelfeld finally apologized and felt great for it. After this, he had lunch with the cardinal and saw a familiar face at the restaurant: The Duke of Johannesburg. This led him to believe that the Duke could be a schismatic trying to steal his reliquary.

Answer: Camaldoli

Near the end of the trip to Rome, Von Igelfeld received a letter from the Patriarch of Alexandria telling him to take the reliquary to him in Camaldoli. The Prinzels and Von Igelfeld took the trip and booked into a nice hotel there, and in order to make sure that the reliquary was safe, they took turns leaving the hotel.

While Von Igelfeld sat in the lobby of the hotel, Unterholzer, his wife, and his sausage dog arrived. Surprised at this, everyone greeted each other and walked around town. When they returned though, Von Igelfeld found that his reliquary had been raided.

He ran to tell the Prinzels and Unterholzers and found that Unterholzer's sausage dog had eaten the contents! When the Patriarch of Alexandria arrived, the group was forced to tell him about the horrible situation. Unterholzer found a solution though.

He would give the dog to the Patriarch and the schismatics would not know that St. Nicholas' bones were within the dog. When the dog died, they would put the bones into the reliquary. In the end, Von Igelfeld discovered that the Duke of Johannesburg was really working against the Patriarch of Alexandria, and Beatrice, his assistant, was working with the Patriarch.

After the adventure, Beatrice would no longer be needed as the Duke's assistant, so the Patriarch found a new, permanent place for her as Unterholzer's assistant. Von Igelfeld was obviously angry at this as well. Not only did Unterholzer steal his possible wife, but Beatrice as well.

Answer: Naples

In the final portion of the book, Von Igelfeld receives a letter from a cruise entertainment coordinator requesting that he perform a series of lectures for a cruise ship that will take him around the Mediterranean and Portugal. He is initially disgusted by the idea, but when he mentions it to Unterholzer and Prinzel, he changes his mind because they're both interested.

When he arrives at the cruise, he is given a tiny room, so he talks to the captain of the ship and is given the captain's quarters for the trip.

When he performs his first lecture, there are only seven people attending (two of whom leave early, and three who fall asleep). Von Igelfeld decides that they were all in the lecture of Hans-Dieter Dietermann and they must have been misguided at the time.

When the ship's newspaper editor asks him a few questions, he says that he's not married, and when this is published, all of the divorcées and widows on the ship start fighting for him. They even fill Von Igelfeld's second lecture and invite him to dinner. Three of the women send him gifts in order to woo him. Von Igelfeld finds this overwhelming, and when they stop at Naples, he escapes in a taxi and goes to Siena for the remaining week. During this time however, the cruise ship assumes that he's fallen overboard and declare him dead. During his stay in Siena, Germany publishes articles about him in their national newspapers, and when he returns to the institute, he finds that Unterholzer has taken his office.

When Unterholzer sees Von Igelfeld, he is surprised and relieved enough to call him by his first name. After this, they decide to talk to each other on a first name basis, and they enjoy the rest of their day.