"The Fast Show" - Catchphrases Quiz

Answer: Boutros Boutros-Ghali

Just what was that language that the "Channel 9" presenters used? A mixture of several European languages and manufactured words mixed with names of people and places; footballer "Chris Waddle!" was often thrown in at random. Boutros Boutros-Ghali was a former United Nations Secretary General, his name was used purely for its phonetic qualities.

Answer: Scorchio

Poula Fisch (played by Caroline Aherne) almost always put huge stickers of the sun showing 45 (degrees C) on her weather map, "Scorchio" was her adjective of the day pretty much every day; however in one forecast a tiny cloud put in an appearance, poor Poula really couldn't cope with that!
"Scorchio" (based on tabloid newspapers' cliche, "What a Scorcher!") has now passed into common usage.

Answer: "Even better than that..."

The lady of the house would send her nerdy husband (Mark Williams) to the shops to get some fairly mundane items; bread, milk that sort of thing. Unfortunately her husband had an eye for a 'bargain' and would always return delighted to have found some obscure objects which had little or no use whatever.

Answer: "I'm afraid I was very, very drunk."

Most of the time Rowley Birkin (Paul Whitehouse) spouts complete gibberish but his facial expressions and dramatic non sequitur interjections are quite brilliant. The sketch where he impersonates a submarine's radar device is suberb.

Answer: Jumpers for goalposts

"What do you think Ron?"
"Small boys in the park, jumpers for goalposts, isn't it?"
It is possible to detect several football commentator's styles in Paul Whitehouse's brilliantly observed Ron Manager. Paul has often hinted that at least some of Ron's idiocyncracies are based on Alec Stock, ex-professional football player and manager.

Answer: In the Jazz Club

John Thomson plays Louis Balfour the 'oh so cool' presenter of "Jazz Club", where everything is "nice". Balfour is a gentle take on music presenters such as Bob Harris.
You might be unlucky enough to run into Archie in the pub who will bore you to death.
Keep well clear of Colin Hunt at work, a distinctly unfunny office joker.
Ken and Kenneth loiter with suggestive intent in the tailors' shop.

Answer: Ed Winchester

This was a running gag in the show; poor Ed Winchester never ever got to file his report, technical errors or some other problem always thwarted him.

Answer: Does my bum look big in this?

From routine occasions to being stopped for speeding and even when being mugged, 'Insecure Woman' was only concerned with how her rear end looked.
Arabella Weir later used the catchphrase "Does My Bum Look Big in This?" as the title of her best-selling book.

Answer: The hardest game in the world

Archie was desperate to talk to people and always told them that he had done their job, whatever it was, "thirty years man and boy" so he knew how hard it was. From lorry driver to professional boxer and even being a priest, Archie had apparently done it all!

Answer: Johnny Depp

Apparently Johnny Depp is a huge fan of the show and asked Paul Whitehouse if he could take part.
The story goes that Depp tried to use the "Fast Show" catchphrase "I'll get me coat" in the filming of "Pirates of the Caribbean" but unfortunately the scene was cut. He does, however, say at one point in the movie "...and then they made me their chief" to which all "Fast Show" fans would surely reply, "which was nice!"