"I'm sorry sir" said Hardy, "I cannot decipher it, it all looks
to me."
"I don't want excuses Hardy, you're the wonder kid and we're relying on you" retorted the General.
"Sir, we're working like a Russian rolling down a hill, but I have to tell you, Rome was not built in a day."
"Listen Hardy! Right now we look as effective as an Oklahoma dustbowl. Our defense lines have flaws everywhere, we have more holes than
cheese. The opposition are getting ready to launch against us and we're looking like we're gathering stores for an
summer. Do you have anything, anything at all that will make me smile?"
"Not really sir, we seem to be at a bit of a stalemate, a bit of a
stand-off you could say, and the information that we have gathered is about as reliable as a set of
whispers."
"Oh shoot!" screamed the General, "Pardon my
. We're making as much progress as a slow boat to China and it's looking like we'll need the unpredictability of something as loose as an
pennant to get us out of this mess."
Hardly takes a swig of gin for a bit of
courage and confronts the General. "Can I make a suggestion sir?"
"It had better be good Hardy."
"Can I recommend that we put our pastry cook, William Wallis, onto this. I know that he's a bit of a rebel sir, but..."
"REBEL! That young
is a lunatic, his patriotism jumps about like a
shower. Are you off your rocker?"
"That may be your opinion sir, but the man has more energy than a Mexican jumping bean, he thinks well outside the boundaries sir, and, between you and me, he may well be our only hope."
"Wonderful, we're on the precipice of disaster and you want me to put the fate of our nation in the hands of a Swedish chef."