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Answer: A sound made by bagpipes

The word most associated with skirling is the high, haunting, and rather beautiful, sound that the bagpipes make when played. The word has also been used to refer to shrill laughter or screams, none of which is particularly flattering when associated with bagpipe music.

Then again, some people could be said to laugh like bagpipes instead. In one of the old English dialects, a skirl is also a small trout or salmon.

Answer: A short comical verse of four lines

A clerihew is a small verse of four lines. It usually refers to some well known person in the first line, is supposed to be comical in nature, and, quite frankly, is the worst example of rhyming verse you'll ever come across. It's meant to be this way, however, with a rhyming pattern of AABB. This literary piece of whimsy was invented by Edmund Clerihew Bentley (1875-1956) when he was a sixteen year old pupil at St Paul's School in London. Never let it be said his education was wasted. Below, for your edification, are three well known examples of clerihews.

"Did Descartes/ Depart/ With the thought/'Therefore I am not'" (Anonymous)
"Sir Henry Rider Haggard/ Was completely staggered/ When his bride-to-be/ Announced I am She!" (The poet W.H. Auden wrote this gem)
"Sir Humphrey Davy/ Abominated gravy/ He lived in the odium/ Of having discovered sodium" (That from Edmund Clerihew Bentley himself)

Perhaps we could try writing them ourselves? Here's one from me.

"Poor President Nixon/ Got a few nasty kicks an' /The odd dirty look/ When he said 'I'm no crook'"

Answer: A mathematical term

This is a ghastly mathematical term that means the square of the square of a square. A number to its eighth power in other words. As I can't even pronounce it, let alone put it into practice, will have to leave the explanation at that. Fortunately for all concerned, this is an obsolete term no longer in common use. Sometimes we get lucky.

Answer: Rib of a ship

A futtock is one of those beautifully curved timbers that form the rib cage of gracious old sailing ships constructed from wood. For the purpose of this question, anyhow. There are four or five to each ship, depending on the size of the vessel. Some other parts of the ship are called futtocks as well, but this question doesn't deal with them.

The ones nearest the ground in this rib cage of a ship are known as navel futtocks, while the ones higher up are called, surprise, surprise, upper futtocks. Goodness, their navel is in an odd spot. If my navel was close to the ground, it would tend to suggest I'd had too much to drink and had toppled over as a result.

After a rousing chorus of "Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum" of course.

Answer: A rain gauge

Oh Pluvio, Pluvio, wherefore art thou Pluvio? A pluviometer is also known as an udometer. Why couldn't they just call it a rain gauge? This instrument is used by meteorologists and others who want to measure the amount of rainfall received in a particular area over a given period of time. Earlier forms of this device were used as far back as Ancient Greece and early India to enable authorities to measure rainfall, so that they could predict the expected crop production. Do you know what those vultures did this for? Not to help the farmers, oh no.

Instead, they wanted to gauge the amount of tax they could charge on the land. The information I researched on this word gravely went on to inform me that rain gauges aren't reliable in hurricanes. How stupid do they think their readers are, I wonder? Of course they wouldn't be reliable in a hurricane.

They've probably been blown clean into the middle of the Sahara Desert under those circumstances.

Answer: Climbing the outside of buildings

Dear me, what next? I love to climb buildings as well though. From the inside - and in an elevator. Some people like to climb mountains, some people like to climb the corporate ladder, some people just climb plain old ladders, usually while painting houses.

A stegophilist, however, gets his enjoyment from scaling public building, and the taller the better. Oh well, why not - it seems harmless enough. Barring unfortunate accidents, that is. The thought occurs that a stegophilist, with a bucket of water and a nice big sponge with which to clean windows, could make an absolute killing with this hobby.

Answer: An implement for sprinkling holy water

Does holy water ever spring a leak? An aspergillum is a hand-held instrument which has a small container at one end containing strategically placed small holes. Holy water is placed into this ball and the priest then uses it to sprinkle this sanctified water either over objects such as coffins during sorrowful funeral services, or over the congregation at various special masses held during the year. If one tiny dot of this holy water lands on a member of the congregation during any of these ceremonies, it feels special somehow, and just adds that little bit extra closeness to the Lord that one feels during the sanctity of these services. Of course one doesn't need a ceremony to grow close to the Lord, that can happen anytime, but if this ceremony works for some people in times of deep distress and trouble, and helps to ease their pain, then it is a wonderful thing indeed.

Answer: A room for storing treasures

An aerary is a room in a building, usually a very old edifice, that is used to store treasures, or valuable papers, or items of deep historical or religious significance. An example of one of these can be seen at St George's chapel at Windsor Castle in England.

The aerary porch to this was completed in 1354. It was said at the time to contain revered religious relics, including a fragment of the cross on which Jesus was crucified. Much of this construction suffered great damage and the loss of these treasures of incalculable value during the ravages of the English Civil War from 1642-1651. What a dreadful crime.

Answer: A public urinal

This is a VERY public urinal I might add. These are small constructions seen commonly in Europe, at which men can relieve themselves in a hurry, and in full view of passers-by. There is also a form of the same for women, except that theirs is slightly more secluded from a public viewing. Pissoirs were first constructed in Paris - where else? - in 1834, with the purpose of stopping men urinating against the sides of buildings, or in the street. Well, they still do it in the streets now, with the only different being that, instead of the haphazard hit or miss method used previously, it's a little more orchestrated, and with something definite to aim for instead. All this and frog's legs too.

Answer: Weekly

This is an expression meaning to last seven days, or weekly. Do you honestly know anyone who would use that word to mean weekly, instead of weakly using the word weekly instead? Not I, she cried, waving her zenzizenzizenzic leg in the air. And now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to my hebdomadal meeting for the committee set up to simplify the English language.