Who Said It?: "Addams Family Values" Quiz

Quiz Answer Key and Fun Facts

1. "I wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade."

Answer: Morticia

Morticia (Anjelica Huston) says this line to Gomez (Raul Julia) shortly after Pubert is born. She laments not having enough free time to explore her hobbies because she is too busy with the children, mainly making sure Wednesday and Pugsley (Christina Ricci and Jimmy Workman) don't kill the new baby. It is at this point that Gomez and Morticia decide to hire a nanny.

2. "He could stay this way for years! Forever! He could become a lawyer."

Answer: Grandmama

Grandmama (Carol Kane) says this line after Pubert falls "ill" and becomes a rosy cheeked baby with blonde, curly hair. Consulting her book of spells, she determines the reason for the transformation is because Fester (Christopher Lloyd) is absent, having run off and married Debbie (Joan Cusack). Grandmama lists various professions that Pubert might grow up to be if he is not healed immediately. Among these are lawyer, orthodontist and president.

The family cringes at these thoughts. Ironically, Gomez is a lawyer himself, at least in the original television series.

3. "I am a turkey. Kill me!"

Answer: Pugsley

Pugsley says this line during Gary's (Peter MacNicol) historically inaccurate production of the First Thanksgiving at the summer camp. Pugsley plays a turkey in the play in which he declares that he is a turkey and he should be killed and eaten. He also sings "eat me" several times but otherwise has no other major role in the production.

4. "Do you know what just might turn their sad and potentially wasted little lives right all around?"

Answer: Gary Granger

Gary, the camp director, says this after he, his wife Becky (Christine Baranski), Amanda Buckman (Mercedes McNab) and the other campers catch Wednesday, Pugsley and their outcast friend Joel (David Krumholtz) escaping from camp. All three kids hate the upbeat attitude of Camp Chippewa. Wednesday, in particular, wants to escape so she can rescue Fester and avoid being Pocahontas in Gary's play.

Gary and Becky are the overly cheerful directors of Camp Chippewa but they have an obvious hatred of outcasts like Wednesday and Pugsley and frequently punish them by forcing them to watch Disney movies in the Harmony Hut.

5. "I have almost the whole series. I'm only missing Jack the Ripper and that Zodiac guy."

Answer: Joel Glicker

Joel says this to Wednesday and Pugsley while looking through their collections of "Schizos and Serial Killers" trading cards. Wednesday and Pugsley previously had told Joel about Debbie and their belief that she is a serial killer. Joel confirms this as he has the trading card of the Black Widow, who looks just like Debbie.

6. "No, that's the baby's nickname, What. From the obstetrician."

Answer: Margaret Addams

Margaret (Dana Ivey) is the wife of Cousin Itt (John Franklin). In the previous film, she was married to the Addamses' lawyer Tully. She says this line to Morticia and Debbie at the latter's bachelorette party. Around the same time Pubert is born, Margaret and Itt have a baby of their own, nicknamed What, who travels around in a coffin-shaped stroller. What looks like a miniature version of Cousin Itt, covered in hair but with a pacifier in its mouth.

7. "I have seen the unholy maggots which feast in the dark recesses of the human soul!"

Answer: Gomez

Gomez says this to the policer officer played by Nathan Lane. Gomez and some of the other members of the family attempt to have Debbie arrested for marrying Fester. Although Gomez is correct in that Debbie has obvious ulterior motives for marrying Fester and his life is in danger, he presents this fact in a terrible way.

The police officer is under the impression that Fester is happily married to Debbie and because Gomez mentions the tortures she is putting him through include a vacation to Hawaii and living in a mansion in the suburbs.

8. "That's not what I wanted! That's not who I was. I was a ballerina, graceful, delicate!"

Answer: Debbie Jellinsky

Debbie says this line to the Addamses during the denouement. Having failed to kill Fester quickly, Debbie chases him back to the Addams mansion where she attempts to kill the entire family by strapping them to electric chairs. Before she flips the switch, she shows them a slideshow of her life and explains why she kills.

In this instance, she killed her parents years prior when she was a little girl because they bought her a Malibu Barbie for her birthday instead of a Ballerina Barbie.

9. "When he was asleep, I opened his skull, and removed his brains."

Answer: Uncle Fester

Uncle Fester says this to Gomez, Wednesday and Pugsley at the beginning of the film. Soon after Pubert is born, Wednesday and Pugsley hate the baby and try to kill him. Gomez and Fester explain to them that sibling rivalry is normal and then list the various cruel things they did to each other as children. Fester apparently nearly choked Gomez to death and once removed his brain. Gomez, on the other hand, once tied Fester to a tree and pulled out his teeth.

10. "She wasn't sick. She was sloppy."

Answer: Wednesday

Wednesday says this line toward the end of the film. Joel visits the Addamses to see Wednesday and to celebrate Pubert's first birthday. Outside in the cemetery, Joel laments Debbie's death, believing her to be mentally unstable. Wednesday corrects him and says she was a perfectly sane woman (in Wednesday's mind) but just went about her murders the wrong way. Wednesday says that if she wanted to kill her husband, she would scare him to death. Joel brushes this off and places flowers on Debbie's grave in the cemetery when all of a sudden a hand pops up from underneath ground and grabs him. Joel screams as Wednesday smiles, ending the film.

Source: Author Joepetz

This quiz was reviewed by FunTrivia editor jmorrow before going online.
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Questions		Choices
1. "I wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade."		Joel Glicker
2. "He could stay this way for years! Forever! He could become a lawyer."		Wednesday
3. "I am a turkey. Kill me!"		Gary Granger
4. "Do you know what just might turn their sad and potentially wasted little lives right all around?"		Pugsley
5. "I have almost the whole series. I'm only missing Jack the Ripper and that Zodiac guy."		Grandmama
6. "No, that's the baby's nickname, What. From the obstetrician."		Margaret Addams
7. "I have seen the unholy maggots which feast in the dark recesses of the human soul!"		Uncle Fester
8. "That's not what I wanted! That's not who I was. I was a ballerina, graceful, delicate!"		Gomez
9. "When he was asleep, I opened his skull, and removed his brains."		Debbie Jellinsky
10. "She wasn't sick. She was sloppy."		Morticia

Match the creepy and kooky quote to the character who said it in "The Addams Family Values".