Quiz about Absurd French 594
Quiz about Absurd French 594

Absurd French 594 Trivia Quiz


Here's yet another absurd French quiz for those Francophiles at FT. Simply choose the best equivalent in English for the French sentence. After all, how else will you say no to a 500 kilo gorilla

A multiple-choice quiz by Bruyere. Estimated time: 6 mins.
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Author
Bruyere
Time
6 mins
Type
Multiple Choice
Quiz #
201,018
Updated
Dec 03 21
# Qns
10
Difficulty
Average
Avg Score
8 / 10
Plays
5091
Awards
Top 10% Quiz
Last 3 plays: nmerr (7/10), snhha (10/10), marianjoy (6/10).
This quiz has 2 formats: you can play it as a or as shown below.
Scroll down to the bottom for the answer key.
1. What is the English equivalent of this sentence?
Non, non et non! ! Tu as beau être un gorille de cent kilos, mais nous ne servons pas le dîner avant sept heures et demie au plus tôt !!
Hint

No, no, no! You have a beautiful five hundred kilo gorilla there, but we can't give it dinner until seven thirty sharp!
No, no, no! You are a beautiful five hundred pound gorilla, but, we dine at seven thirty instead!
No, no, no! You may be a one hundred kilo gorilla, but we don't serve dinner till seven thirty at the earliest!
No, no, no! You may be a beautiful five hundred kilo girl, but, we don't serve dinner until seven thirty at the earliest!

2. Choose the best English equivalent: Alphonse? Pourriez-vous venir m'aider avec ma loutre, s'il vous plait? Elle refuse de sortir de la baignoire. Hint

Alphonse? Could you please help me with my fight? It's difficult to get out of the ring.
Alphonse, could you please come help me with my mother? She refuses to get out of the bathtub.
Alphonse, could you please come help me with my otter? She refuses to get out of the bathtub.
Alphonse? There's something rotten in the State of Denmark, don't you think? There must be refuse building up.

3. What's the English equivalent of the following sentence? Elle vend des coquillages au bord de la mer. Hint

She makes mistakes when she's on board a boat.
She sells seashells by the seashore.
She sells property by the seashore.
She picks grapes in the autumn.

4. Lorsque j'ai soulevé le capot de ma voiture, il y avait un serpent à plumes. Je l'ai vite fermé, je me suis passé de l'eau fraîche sur le visage et ensuite, c'était parti quand je suis retourné. Il faut que j'arrête de regarder ces vidéos gags. Hint

When I lifted up my car's hood, there was a pink plumed cockatoo in there. I quickly plucked it out, put cold water on its face, and then it flew away. I must stop opening the hood without my video camera.
When I opened my car door, there was a snake in there writing with a quill pen. I quickly closed it, sprayed my face with cold water, and then, it was gone when I returned. I must stop keeping those quill pens in the car.
When I lifted up my car's hood, there was a feathered serpent in it. I quickly closed it, put cold water on my face, and then it was gone when I went back. I've got to stop watching those home video programs.
When I lifted up my car's trunk, there was a stuffed snake in there. I quickly closed it, passed the water fountain on my way, and then realized there was a party going on. I must check my calendar more often.

5. J'ai compté un troupeau de moutons hier soir, mais sans aucun succès. Je n'ai pas réussi à dormir. What's the English equivalent?

Hint

I did my accounts last night for the sheep I sold, but, we didn't succeed this year. It kept me from sleeping.
I counted a flock of sheep last night, but to no avail. I couldn't manage to sleep.
I saw the Count Troupeau with his sheep last night, but he didn't see me. I couldn't manage to flag him down.
I counted a flock of geese last night, but to no avail. I couldn't manage to catch them to make pillows out of them.

6. Le mystère est où est donc passé le mari de Madame Lupin ? Un jour il promenait leur rhinocéros dans les rosiers, et puis hop, il est parti. What would the English equivalent be?

Hint

The mystery is with whom did Mrs Lupin's husband run off? One day he was taking roses to the neighbor with a rhinoceros and then, oops, he was gone.
The mystery is who is Mrs Lupin's husband? One day he was walking around with roses in his arms and then oops, a rhinoceros was left in his place.
The mystery was who was Mrs Lupin seeing when she disappeared? One day she was walking her husband through the rosebushes, then they were seen with a rhinoceros and ooops, they were gone.
The mystery is where did Mrs Lupin's husband go? One day he was walking their rhinoceros in the rose bushes and then oops, he was gone.

7. Que celui qui a mis le chewing gum sur la chaise de Monsieur Dupin lève la main! Il va falloir chercher des glaçons. English equivalent? Hint

The one who put the chewing gum on Mr Dupin's chair should raise his or her hand! We'll have to go get some ice cubes.
What is happening to Mr Dupin's chewing gum is that it is turning blue. He will have to go get us some ice cream now.
Anyone with chewing gum under their seats, come see Mr Dupin!
Whosoever placed the gum on Mr Dupin's head get up out of their chair! He will have to replace his toupee.

8. Ma mère a un chihuahua qui joue et chante du Beethoven mais seulement la sonate au clair de lune. Il ne joue pas "L'Hymne a la joie". English equivalent "s'il vous plait". Hint

My mother is from Chihuahua and she can play and sing Beethoven but only the Midnight Sonata. She cannot play the "Ode to Joy".
My mother has a chinchilla who plays and sings Beethoven but only the Midnight Sonata. He doesn't play the "Ode to Joy.".
My chihuahua's mother can play and sing Beethoven even the Moonlight Sonata. She can't play the "Ode to Joy."
My mother has a chihuahua who plays and sings Beethoven but only the Moonlight Sonata. He doesn't play the "Ode to Joy".

9. What is the English equivalent of this sentence? Savez-vous compter les feuilles de chou ou les ecureuils roux? Hint

Do you know what your stock portfolio in the savings and loan bank?
Do you know if cabbage leaves can hide red squirrels?
Do you know if squirrels eat red cabbage leaves?
Do you know how to count cabbage leaves or red squirrels?

10. Nous serions très heureux de vous inviter à dîner ce soir si seulement notre horoscope nous le permettait. Malheureusement notre lune est en verseau. Hint

We will be terribly overjoyed to invite you to dine with us tonight if only your horoscope were not in particularly bad aspects: your moon is in Pisces.
We would be very interested in inviting you to a diner tonight only to do your horoscope with your permission. Unfortunately, it is raining on the moon.
They would be very happy to invite you to dinner if only your clock weren't set to lunar time and you were unfortunately so late.
We would be very happy to invite you to dinner tonight if only our horoscope would permit us to do so. Unfortunately, our moon is in Aquarius.


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Quiz Answer Key and Fun Facts
1. What is the English equivalent of this sentence? Non, non et non! ! Tu as beau être un gorille de cent kilos, mais nous ne servons pas le dîner avant sept heures et demie au plus tôt !!

Answer: No, no, no! You may be a one hundred kilo gorilla, but we don't serve dinner till seven thirty at the earliest!

'Tu as beau' plus infinitive is a way of saying, you might very well have...You might very well be. Therefore, if you say, 'Tu as beau lui dire non, il veut toujours sortir', No matter if you tell him no, he still wants to go out.'

Here's an online translation of it for your amusement: "You have beautiful being a gorilla of one hundred kilos, but we do not serve the dinner before seven hours and half as soon as possible!"
2. Choose the best English equivalent: Alphonse? Pourriez-vous venir m'aider avec ma loutre, s'il vous plait? Elle refuse de sortir de la baignoire.

Answer: Alphonse, could you please come help me with my otter? She refuses to get out of the bathtub.

"La loutre" is otter. Some of the distracters in this quiz come from these words: "la lutte" is the fight, the battle and wrestling, though "le catch" is what they call professional wrestling. "Pourrir" is to rot, "pourri" is rotten, and therefore potpourri means rotten pot literally.
"Pourriez" however, is the conditional form of pouvoir.
3. What's the English equivalent of the following sentence? Elle vend des coquillages au bord de la mer.

Answer: She sells seashells by the seashore.

Though they don't have this as a tongue twister in French, they do have 'Un chasseur sachant chasser" and others. Une coquille sometimes means an error, or typo in a manuscript. La coquille is a shell, like eggshell or even walnut shell. The French absolutely adore 'coquillages' or 'Fruit de mer' in general.

When you stroll through any city you'll see a case outdoors displaying the seafood in its shell and you can order plates of it to be opened and served at your table, raw of course to better slurp. Bruyère of course, doesn't practice this custom being French by alliance rather than birth. Slurping raw oysters with lemon on them or delving into the sea urchin's gonads isn't my idea of good food. To each his own however.

A chacun leur goût.
4. Lorsque j'ai soulevé le capot de ma voiture, il y avait un serpent à plumes. Je l'ai vite fermé, je me suis passé de l'eau fraîche sur le visage et ensuite, c'était parti quand je suis retourné. Il faut que j'arrête de regarder ces vidéos gags.

Answer: When I lifted up my car's hood, there was a feathered serpent in it. I quickly closed it, put cold water on my face, and then it was gone when I went back. I've got to stop watching those home video programs.

« Soulever » is to lift up. Le capot is the hood or bonnet. A common remedy for everything that ails you is 'passe de l'eau fraîche sur le visage.' Merci Maman. "Les video gags" are what they call the numerous video programs sent in from people in France, but they use those from other countries. Weddings, birthdays and the ever-popular people falling from backyard playground equipment into mud or falling off ladders tend to be the standard fare.
5. J'ai compté un troupeau de moutons hier soir, mais sans aucun succès. Je n'ai pas réussi à dormir. What's the English equivalent?

Answer: I counted a flock of sheep last night, but to no avail. I couldn't manage to sleep.

Un troupeau is a flock. Un mouton is a sheep, but un agneau is a lamb.
6. Le mystère est où est donc passé le mari de Madame Lupin ? Un jour il promenait leur rhinocéros dans les rosiers, et puis hop, il est parti. What would the English equivalent be?

Answer: The mystery is where did Mrs Lupin's husband go? One day he was walking their rhinoceros in the rose bushes and then oops, he was gone.

Les rosiers, rosebushes, roses. Ou es-tu passé? = where did you go? Un rhinocéros is the same in both, with an accent in French. The rhinoceros gag is straight from Bill Cosby. Neighbor is walking a rhino past another guy. The guy tries to act as if it's normal. "Oh yeah, we used to have one".
7. Que celui qui a mis le chewing gum sur la chaise de Monsieur Dupin lève la main! Il va falloir chercher des glaçons. English equivalent?

Answer: The one who put the chewing gum on Mr Dupin's chair should raise his or her hand! We'll have to go get some ice cubes.

Que celui...might be translated in some contexts as 'let he who' but in this context, it's a more spoken version. I've always wondered if teachers actually thought the culprits of practical jokes like putting chewing gum on their teacher's seats would raise their hands and admit it! By the way, ice cubes really do help get the chewing gum off of fabric. Peanut butter will dissolve pitch in your hair too. Les glacons are ice cubes of course.
8. Ma mère a un chihuahua qui joue et chante du Beethoven mais seulement la sonate au clair de lune. Il ne joue pas "L'Hymne a la joie". English equivalent "s'il vous plait".

Answer: My mother has a chihuahua who plays and sings Beethoven but only the Moonlight Sonata. He doesn't play the "Ode to Joy".

Believe it or not, my mother's Cairn Terrier did sing and play the piano and it was pretty funny. "La Sonate au clair de lune" is obviously the "Moonlight sonata". "L'Hymne a la joie" is played for ceremonies from time to time in French town plazas.
9. What is the English equivalent of this sentence? Savez-vous compter les feuilles de chou ou les ecureuils roux?

Answer: Do you know how to count cabbage leaves or red squirrels?

Un ecureuil is one of those words that non-native speakers find very hard to pronounce. It's the symbol of the savings and loan bank throughout France and synonymous with savings.
Une feuille de choux is a cabbage leaf as you've ascertained, however, you can sometimes refer to a small child as a 'feuille de chou'. Yes, the word 'mon petit chou' is used from time to time. 'Mon chou' or my cabbage literally is said and 'c'est chou' is cute.
Ah yes, un ecureuil roux is a red squirrel or a russet colored squirrel that may be found in the French Alps. They have little tufty ears and are very cute.
10. Nous serions très heureux de vous inviter à dîner ce soir si seulement notre horoscope nous le permettait. Malheureusement notre lune est en verseau.

Answer: We would be very happy to invite you to dinner tonight if only our horoscope would permit us to do so. Unfortunately, our moon is in Aquarius.

The French tend to really go all out for formal phrases that are rather difficult to master not only for foreigners, but for the French people themselves. In fact, you can purchase examples of formal letters for any occasion in the bookshops there. How to tell your tax agent you weren't hiding anything, or how to tell your neighbor you're suing him for his wall that blocks your view of the sea.

In fact, there's lots of material for my quizzes in your average letter writing book...nah...don't miss that one bit! Clock= horloge, la lune = moon, verseau is Aquarius and Pisces is 'poissons' or fish literally in French.
Source: Author Bruyere

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