A Deep Dive into Weirdo Cinema [9] Quiz

Answer: Showgirls

Directed by Paul Verhoeven, known better for his sci-fi works of the late-1980s and early-1990s, "Showgirls" was always intended to be the R-rated thriller/drama to spark a wave of strong narratives with adult themes...but it kind of flopped in the best way. A lengthy movie about one woman's arrival in Vegas to escape her past and become a star in a topless stage show called 'Goddess', it starred Elizabeth Berkley as Nomi Malone. The movie bombed in theatres but developed a strong cult following in later years because of the so-bad-it's-good element.

In addition to winning seven Razzie Awards (a record at the time), "Showgirls" would end up becoming a popular midnight movie a la "Rocky Horror"; it's so bad you can't look away. Critical reevaluation in later years has changed the focus of the film with many claiming it to be satirical. Despite all of this, most of the cast distanced themselves from the movie with Berkley receding, in a large way, from film altogether. Verhoeven would go on, next, to make "Starship Troopers".

Answer: Gundams

Though made by Polestar Entertainment, this movie was overseen by Bandai Namco to ensure that it fell in line with their brand because "G-Saviour", for all its flaws, was still a part of the Gundam universe and utilized the giant robot mechs that can be seen in the anime and Japanese-made films bearing the name. And oh boy is it weird.

Filmed entirely in British Columbia in 1999, the movie has a distinctive feel of being CanCon (Canadian content), which generally feels a little bit different from your normal North American release. On top of requiring a significant contingent of Canadian cast and crew to be eligible for government funding, a lack of polish was apparent throughout what ended up being (a) dubbed into Japanese per the original intent and (b) an occasionally graphics-heavy TV film that relied on giant robot suits. It didn't help, either, that the plot of the movie, about the intergalactic goings-on of a world facing a food shortage, a quick and low-hanging love affair, and a murder-framing plot, didn't make much sense for a mobile suit to solve.

Answer: A Wrinkle in Time

Though Disney made an attempt to adapt Madeleine L'Engle's "A Wrinkle in Time" for TV in 2003, they took another shot at it fifteen years late with Ava DuVernay at the helm, and what resulted was a visually-arresting, but overall confusing movie with Oprah Winfrey, Reese Witherspoon, and Mindy Kaling playing the mysterious roles of Mrs. Which, Mrs. Whatsit, and Mrs. Who, respectively. A young girl played by Storm Reid manages to pass through space and time with a tesseract to hunt down her missing astrophysicist father, played by Chris Pine, and if that wasn't absurd enough, there's a scene where a young child caresses Oprah Winfrey's giant astral face and it is deeply concerning.

Unfortunately, Disney's gamble with this sci-fi work didn't really pay off. Though it had CGI in spades, the film managed to bomb massively in the box office, losing out the equivalent of double its box office intake in advertising alone. Critics considered it a bold movie, but too grand to focus on any given element. Maybe if they just focused more on the giant Oprah head.

Answer: China

Now here's a movie that knows what the people want. After his parents die in a car fire (not added in post, sadly), a pastor travels to China and grabs an artifact that turns him into a dinosaur to fight off bad guys. A knowing B-movie in every sense of the word, the plot inevitably has him face off against ninjas as well.

And oh boy, if you want something mindless and silly, this movie is made for that. A short and sweet modern schlock entry, it quickly became a viral meme for horror fans, being pushed to streaming early to take advantage of a waiting audience. Despite being distributed by Wild Eye, it managed to take in modest reviews, partly because it lays out its cards before the action happens. You know you're going to get a man of God turning into a dinosaur, even if that dinosaur is just a costume, and it delivers that in spades.

Answer: Dr. Seuss

Extrapolating on the Dr. Seuss story about a cat that comes to a house one rainy day and wreaks havoc, this 2003 adaptation puts Mike Myers in the role of the titular cat and sets him loose in one of the most colourful and...gooey kids movies of a generation. With the success of Ron Howard's "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" a few years earlier, Universal and DreamWorks really thought they had this one in the bag. They did not.

The movie, while it recouped its budget in the box office, ultimately turned out to be a bomb when marketing was factored in. On top of this, it started a chain of live-action flops that Mike Myers never really recovered from in the long run. Although the "Shrek" movies would continue, his later films, like "The Love Guru", would miss the mark. Allegedly, Myers was difficult on set. It's hard to say if he was method acting. Critics hated the film, and Universal dropped the idea of more Seuss live-action adaptations altogether.

Answer: Bruce Campbell

Tabletop gamers didn't deserve this. Created with the name 'Dungeons & Dragons' in mind, but not really paying attention to anything that came from the games, the 2000 not-quite-adaptation of the same name was a basic fantasy tale in which a pair of low-class thieves faced off against the evil mage Profion to save a kingdom. Yes, there were dungeons and yes, there were dragons (at least one) but that doesn't really bring the game to life now, does it?

The film looked cheap and fans didn't turn up-- it bombed in the box office and got blasted by critics. What's interesting is that it would take more than two decades before fans got a film in the series that hit the right notes. Chris Evans starred in the well-received "Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves" in 2023 and it had nothing to do with the 2000 film (or its two straight-to-DVD sequels). And they set it in 'Forgotten Realms'! What a treat!

Answer: Heathers

The directorial debut of Michael Lehmann, this 1989 movie might be one that wouldn't fly in a modern world (Christian Slater tries to blow up his high school), but it epitomized the silly, dark comedy high school movies of the 1980s. Written as an antithesis to John Hughes, it was originally penned with the intent to woo Stanley Kubrick to direct (which did not happen). In it, Winona Ryder played Veronica who, after joining a clique with a group of girls all named Heather, falls for the problematic J.D.

"Heathers" would become a cult classic pretty quickly. Despite flopping in the box office it was a slow-burn for attention, ultimately garnering significant approval from fans and critics alike. It would continue to inspire high school black comedies for decades including "Mean Girls" in 2004, and generate lasting quotes for the ages. ("I love my dead gay son!") Naturally, it got adapted for musical theatre in 2010, and it might be considered the ideal venue for it.

Answer: The Wolf House

"La casa lobo", created in Chile, is a masterclass in stop-motion, telling an almost unnerving story about a little girl named Marķa who stumbles upon a seemingly abandoned house only to discover the terrifying nature of it once she's inside.

What might be most interesting about this movie is that the film hides its true nature; it was intended to be a fairy tale told by a cult leader, designed to teach young viewers its lessons. While this wasn't a dangerous work, per se, it created a new layer of meaning for the already avant-garde work. In 2018 "The Wolf House" made the rounds at film festivals, won awards, and garnered great critical acclaim. It's definitely something to check out for anyone into unsettling, weird animation.

Answer: John C. Reilly (as Watson)

Director Etan Cohen's sophomore film (after the Will Ferrell movie "Get Hard"), "Holmes & Watson" is a tough watch where you can get a front-row seat to a car crash of bad jokes, all framed as a Sherlock Holmes mystery from Hell. Ferrell and Reilly played Holmes and Watson (in that order) as they set out to stop Moriarty from killing Queen Victoria...culminating to a bomb scare on the Titanic...which wasn't around in Victoria's lifetime. Lot of problems start-to-finish.

On a budget of $42,000,000 USD, "Holmes & Watson" made $41,900,000 (ouch), and that might be too much. Sony tested the film and found it was poorly-received even before it hit theatres, and when they tried to course correct, failing to sell it off cheap to Netflix, they dropped it at the cinema without screening it for critics. Said critics despised the movie and the Razzies put it up for six awards, winning four (including Worst Picture). Reilly won for Worst Supporting Actor, but Ferrell lost for Best Actor to, of all people, Donald Trump for his passive roles in "Death of a Nation" and "Fahrenheit 11/9".

I'd recommend watching if you're a masochist.

Answer: Duffy

Now here's a fascinating movie. Directed by prolific filmmaker of very little you've heard of, David DeCoteau, "A Talking Cat!?!" (yes, an exclamation mark, a question mark, and another exclamation mark) involved a father and son...and their neighbours and friends... coming across a magical, talking cat by the name of Duffy who seemed to have an impact on all of their lives by giving them good advice. As to why he was talking, that didn't quite matter (and how he talks, with an animated slit of a mouth just opening and shutting, is bonkers), but what did matter was the hi-jinx this cat got into. And for that I need to recommend this movie.

Eric Roberts, who played the voice of Duffy, the cat, recorded his lines in fifteen minutes over the phone with little-to-no affect, and that's just one of the real treats of this absurd film. You'll marvel at the countless shots of sweeping canyons and babbling brooks; you'll wonder how many cheese puffs one can make in a single oven; you'll have questions about how a book light can scan labels on clothing. It's a movie that shouldn't exist, but we should all feel good that it does. Don't settle for the RiffTrax; the movie without dubbing is all you need.