Aaargh...! Trivia Quiz

Answer: Tim the Enchanter

King Arthur and his knights had reached a mountainous area with rocky outcroppings when they saw explosions happening on the bluffs. It became apparent it was caused by an individual (wearing ram's horns) who soon appeared before them in a puff of smoke and fire.

When asked what sort of man can create fire without flint, the stranger replied that he was an enchanter and he was called "Tim". After several more examples of fire creation, he pointed them in the direction of the Holy Grail.

Answer: The Black Knight

King Arthur "rides" through a forest and stops when he sees two knights in a sword fight by a small stream. When the knight in black handily defeats the knight in green, King Arthur approaches. King Arthur asks the knight to join his court, but the knight is silent. He then simply says "None shall pass". They then proceed to get in a sword fight so that Arthur can cross the bridge.

King Arthur hacks off the Black Knight's arm. Instead of standing aside, the knight says "Tis but a scratch". Soon the other arm is cut off and the knight is fighting with his legs by kicking and saying he only has a "flesh wound". When he is only a torso, King Arthur crosses the small bridge.

Answer: Black Beast of Aaargh...!

King Arthur and his knights venture into the Cave of Caerbannog. There they find an inscription carved into the rock by Joseph of Arimathea. Upon translation, it says they can find the Holy Grail in the Castle of Aaargh. (with the spelling and punctuation drawn out). King Arthur claims if Joseph was dying he would not carve the groan but simply say it.

Suddenly the knights saw a horrible sight. It was an animated green (despite its name) creature with horns and sharp teeth and a multitude of eyes. It proceeds to eat Brother Maynard and chase the group. Fortunately for King Arthur and his knights the animator had a heart attack and the beast disappeared.

Answer: The French Taunter

King Arthur and his knights come upon a castle. A soldier appears on the battlements and tells them the castle belongs to his master. King Arthur then tells the soldier that if the master gives them food and shelter, he can join them on the quest. The soldier then tells them they are not welcome since they are English and he and his fellow soldiers are French.

The soldier, in a very strong French accent, begins to mock King Arthur and the knights and calls them a variety of names. At one point he says "your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries". He then proceeds to direct his fellow soldiers to catapult a cow over the castle walls toward the English.

Answer: Zoot

Sir Galahad the Chaste finds himself wandering alone through a deep forest during a violent thunderstorm and spots what he mistook for the Holy Grail glowing at the top of a tower. Galahad struggled through the pouring rain and battered the castle's heavy door with his armored glove until it opened and he collapsed inside.

He was greeted by Zoot, who welcomed him to Castle Anthrax. She admitted it was a poorly chosen name. It turns out the castle is full of young, beautiful, and tempting women. The glowing object was actually just a grail-shaped beacon lit by Zoot and the women of the castle.

Answer: Knights Who Say "Ni!"

King Arthur and his knights are progressing through a dark, foggy forest where they see shadows and hear twigs snapping. Suddenly they come across a tall, large knight. The knight informs the group they have run across the Knights Who Say "Ni!". The Knights of Ni said they would continue to yell out the word (which can drive humans crazy) until they get a sacrifice.

They then demand a shrubbery. The Knights of Ni say that if they get "one that looks nice" they will allow King Arthur and his knights through the forest and will quit saying "Ni!". Upon returning the shrubbery, however, it is learned they are now the Knights Who Say "Ekke Ekke Ekke Ptang Zoo Boing!"

Answer: The Bridgekeeper

King Arthur and his knights arrive at the mysterious Bridge of Death over the Gorge of Eternal Peril. The old man they see is the Bridgekeeper. He will ask each man three questions. Only those that answer correctly will pass over the bridge. If someone gets a question incorrect, he is cast into the gorge.

Sir Lancelot easily answers the questions. Sir Robin misses the geography question and is catapulted into the gorge. Sir Galahad misses the question about his favorite color and gets the same fate. King Arthur turns the table and asks the Bridgekeeper to clarify a question. When the Bridgekeeper is stumped, he ends up in the gorge.

Answer: The Killer Rabbit

King Arthur and his knights arrive at the entrance of the Cave of Caerbannog where they hope to find the Holy Grail. They have been warned of a fearsome monster with sharp teeth that guards the cave. Fearfully, they creep up and peer over some rocks. They see a little white bunny hop out of the cave and ask if the monster is behind the rabbit. They are told the bunny IS the monster.

They all laugh in relief, even though the rabbit is hopping amongst a pile of bones. Sir Bors heads over to take on the creature and get some "rabbit stew". However, the bunny leaps up and decapitates the knight. The rabbit goes on a rampage killing the knights until they decide to run away.

Answer: Prince Herbert

Prince Herbert is in a tower room at Swamp Castle talking to his father. His dad tells him the castle and lands will be his one day. He also talks about the history of the castle. It was built on a swamp against all advice. It sunk into the swamp three times but they are sure this fourth castle is fine.

Prince Herbert says he does not want the inheritance. He wants to stay in his room and sing. He is told he must get married in twenty minutes so the kingdom can get more land (that is not swamp). Prince Herbert is upset and starts to sing again before getting cut off by his father (and the film's director).

Answer: Dennis the Constitutional Peasant

King Arthur is passing through some farmlands on the way to a castle in the distance. He asks an old lady who owns the castle. It turns out it is a man and he is not old. He says his name is Dennis. Dennis then proceeds to tell Arthur that he got to be king by exploiting the workers and "hanging on to imperialist dogma".

King Arthur is told there is no lord in the castle and the serfs working in the field and muck are part of an anarcho-syndicalist commune. Dennis refuses to listen to the king because he didn't vote for him.