Stuff Happens Trivia Quiz

The cards from which these situations were selected was an expanded edition, for which the original 200 cards (ranging from 0.5 to 100) had an extra 100 cards with 0.1 for their decimal value. In the original game, the least distressing card was 'Step on a piece of LEGO in bare feet' (0.5).

Game play involves players deciding where a new card should be placed in the line formed by the ones they currently hold in what is called their Lane of Pain. Each player starts with three cards, then one player has the first play card read out to them. If they guess where it fits in, they keep it; if not, the next player gets a chance. If nobody guesses before all the non-readers have had a go, the card is discarded after its point value was revealed (and generally some discussion about why nobody thought it would be that).

Ingrown toenails cause physical pain which can vary depending on the extent of the ingrowing. In mild cases, it only causes slight discomfort, and can be remedied simply by placing something under the nail to help it grow in a different direction instead of growing into the flesh. But even more serious cases are generally treated with processes that may initially involve some painful cutting, but which then resolves quickly.

Cards you might have seen that fit between a papercut and an ingrown toenail include 'A $115 parking ticket' (5.5) and 'Telemarketer calls' (8.1).

The Misery Index, as mentioned earlier, is a number determined after consultation. The process (which you may or may not consider to be factual) involves consultation with a panel of experts, including "marriage counsellors, therapists, career counsellors and social workers; collectively representing over 150 years of clinical psychiatric experience. ... They carefully evaluated each event (even the moronic ones) considering such factors as: Anxiety level / Emotional trauma / Long-term psychological damage."

This card is one of those where it is more embarrassment than pain which creates the stress. (There are actually many more of them in the game than could be included, because many of the situations involve situations, real or imagined, which are the reason why the game is rated 18+.)

Okay, I reckon that just being locked out of the house is worthy of this ranking, as you need to explain to whoever is going to help you get back in how you managed to do it. Adding nudity, however, is in line with a number of other hypothetical situations you will encounter in the game. And that extra dimension helps to see why it is determined to be more stressful than 'Root canal' (28.5) or 'Drink curdled milk' (31.1). Maybe - I have never had root canal surgery, but I understand it is pretty unpleasant!

This situation is one the game instructions use as an example of how to approach each situation in determining its Misery Index. Basically, don't try to shrug it off. You should "assume the WORST POSSIBLE yet STILL PLAUSIBLE scenario. If a card says 'Phone falls in toilet', don't assume that you fished it out, did the whole rice thing, and miraculously it still works. NO. Your phone is ruined, all your data is lost, and you don't have insurance. Way to go."

Slightly more stressful (47) is the related disaster 'Lose your laptop'. Personally, I would reverse these, but my phone use is restricted to phoning and text messages, with the occasional photo. The laptop, however, that's another matter!

We're about halfway up the scale here, and if you had read all the cards along the way, you would now realise that the game's rankings place a lot more emphasis on embarrassment than on physical pain. Not only are there more of those cards, but the situations seem to create more distress than necessary for a rational adult.

Not that anyone wants to lose a swimsuit in public, but is it really worse than 'Two Week Migraine' (51.5) or 'Chronic Insomnia' (52.5)? And only one step less distressing than 'Passing a kidney stone' (55.5)? For that matter, what about the trauma associated with the nearby 'Pet sit for a friend; pet dies' (56.1)?

Even without needing to consider the possibility of anaphylactic shock, this is likely to involve some serious pain, well worth a ranking in the 70s. I think we can all agree that it is more distressing than 'Next door neighbour's son gets drum kit for Christmas' (60.1), but the emotional pain of 'Win the lottery; lose the ticket' (69) might make some argue that scenario's ranking. What's a bit of a bee sting, anyway?

Here we are in the 80s, where I chose this card from the expanded edition (you can tell by the .1 in its score) rather than the nearby 'House burns down' (84). As was explained for the phone, we need to assume the worst: the car (the most expensive one you could afford, whether that was a second-hand runabout or a Mercedes) is a write off, and the insurance (assuming you have any) won't cover the damage for some reason. Possibly it is because you let your friend drive it even though their license was suspended, and they had a few drinks before deciding to drive out for a burger at midnight, then forgot to turn on the lights. Whatever, you have not only lost your transportation, you may or may not have lost a friend.

Here in the 90s, the game offers a lot more physically problematic scenarios and fewer embarrassing ones than is the case for much of the middle-ranked events (but they are still around). We also have blindness (although going deaf is much less stressful, presumably on the assumption that hearing aids are getting better all the time) and being struck by lightning.

This scenario, horrific as it is, reminds me of Dr Nick Riviera, a character from an episode of 'The Simpsons' titled 'Homer's Triple Bypass'. It is clear why the family can afford his services when he introduces them to a former patient: "Well, if it isn't my old friend, Mr. McGreg! With a leg for an arm, and an arm for a leg!"

This may be the easiest card to put in place, as the imminence of death means it is likely to have serious psychological consequences, even if one is rescued before actual death. Unlike many of the game's scenarios that have been omitted from this quiz because of their scatological nature, this is something that really does happen, a common aftermath of earthquakes, for example.