Neighbourhood Trivia Quiz

Answer: Sardines

The title of the episode is 'Sardines', so that would be a giveaway! 'Sardines' is set at an engagement party in a rich couple's home, and the guests play a game of sardines, hiding in a large wardrobe and in other parts of the room. The wardrobe becomes increasingly claustrophobic as more and more people enter it, including the bride's brother and his boyfriend (played by Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith respectively), Ian (one of the groom's colleagues, played by Tim Key), the groom's boss (Julian Rhind-Tutt) and his girlfriend. It is revealed that the bride's father (Timothy West) had an obsession with making people play sardines, and insists that everyone in the room hides in the wardrobe, including a man known as 'Stinky John' due to his fear of washing. It is also implied that the bride's father sexually abused children, including a boy called Pip. At the end of the episode, it is revealed that 'Ian' is Pip, and he locks the door of the wardrobe, holding a lighter.

The 'number 9' in this episode is the number of the mansion where the party is being held.

Answer: Macbeth

Like a Shakespeare play, 'The Understudy' is divided into acts. Tony Warner (Steve Pemberton) is playing the lead role in 'Macbeth', a play rumoured to be unlucky, while Jim (Reece Shearsmith) is his understudy. Jim hallucinates seeing blood everywhere and fantasies about taking Tony's role for himself, egged on by his fiancée Laura (Lyndsey Marshal). He becomes Macbeth for real after Tony is injured, and later plays the title role in 'Richard III'. Although Laura is set up to be a Lady Macbeth-esque character, it's actually Kirstie (Rosie Cavaliero), Tony's former dresser and now carer, who is the real villain of the episode. She reveals that she spiked Tony's drink, pushed him off the battlements and caused him to be paralysed, got the company manager sacked and stole Laura's engagement ring after she committed suicide.

The 'number 9' in this episode is the number of a dressing room in a theatre.

Answer: A train

'La Couchette' is set on a train crossing France. 'Couchette' comes from 'voiture-couchettes', which is French for 'sleeping car'. Maxwell (Reece Shearsmith), a doctor, is on his way to an interview with the WHO in Bourg-St-Maurice. To his annoyance, he has to share with several noisy passengers: Kath and Les, an English couple going to their daughter's wedding (Julie Hesmondhaigh and Mark Benton); Jorg, a drunk German doctor (Steve Pemberton); Shona, an Australian backpacker (Jessica Gunning); and Hugo, a posh English tourist travelling without a ticket (Jack Whitehall, essentially playing himself). A dead body falls out of the top berth, and the passengers argue over whether they should stop the train. The next day, Kath is missing and thought to have been hit by the train, but she is alive and well, and the train has hit a deer instead. It is revealed that Max killed the dead man, believing him to be Dr Meier, a rival doctor and interview candidate; however, it turns out that he got the wrong man and Jorg is Dr Meier.

The 'number 9' in this episode is the number of the sleeping compartment on the train where the episode takes place.

Answer: Christine is dying, and the whole episode is her life flashing before her eyes.

'The Twelve Days of Christine' stars Sheridan Smith as the titular character. The episode chronicles various events in her life; her new boyfriend Adam (Tom Riley), Valentine's Day, her dad getting Alzheimer's, becoming pregnant with her first child, her 30th birthday, Halloween and Christmas. At the end, a group of people, including her parents - even though her dad has died - her housemate, her friend Bobby (Steve Pemberton) and Adam gather together and give her a book of photographs. She comments that she feels like her life is flashing before her eyes, and realises what's going on; she is dying in a car crash, and everything that happened is a flashback. Her son appears dressed as an angel, and her mother tells her it's time to go. A mysterious man (Reece Shearsmith) keeps appearing throughout the episode, and it's revealed that he was the cause of the crash. The egg smashing on the wall earlier on is a reference to the broken eggs in her car.

The 'number 9' in this episode is the number of Christine's flat.

Answer: It is filmed entirely on CCTV.

All of the episode takes place on CCTV; while the main action takes place on the largest portion of the screen, you can see shots from other cameras at the same time. Andy (Steve Pemberton) is a newcomer at Comfort Support Line, a Samaritans-esque helpline for people in crisis. His first caller is a teenage girl called Chloe, who is suicidal and asks him to sing a Take That song to her. She hangs up, and when his next caller is an old woman who is upset about her cat dying, he is rude to her. Andy's colleague Liz (Jane Horrocks) gets a call from a distraught ex-soldier, who is the son of the old woman who phoned the night before; she has committed suicide. Chloe phones again and again, and Andy blames her for the old woman's death. He and his colleague Joanne discover that 'Chloe' is their boss, George (Reece Shearsmith), and the CCTV shows them talking to 'Chloe' on one screen and George pretending to be her on another. The footage is then paused while another camera shows George running out of the office. He quits his job, but phones Andy and tells him he just wanted someone to listen to him, and drops the bombshell that he has told the old woman's son where Andy works...and said son is none other than the new volunteer, Glen, who points a gun at Andy's head.

The 'number 9' in this episode is the number of the desk where Andy sits.

Answer: A snuff movie

'The Devil of Christmas' appears to be a pastiche of a '70s horror movie at first, until Dennis (Derek Jacobi), the director, starts talking about the production of the film, and the annoying habits of the actors. The film is about a family who go on holiday to Austria, with Steve Pemberton playing dad Julian, and their tour guide Klaus (Reece Shearsmith) tells them the legend of the Krampus, a German monster who punishes naughty children. Toby, the couple's son, finds switches in his shoes, which Klaus claims were left by the Krampus. Toby gets covered in scratches, and he and Celia (Rula Lenska), Julian's mother-in-law, leave. Kathy (Jessica Raine) also gets covered in scratches and finds switches in her shoes. Julian dies of a heart attack and the Krampus appears, except he's actually Klaus in a costume and Klaus is actually Kathy's boyfriend Simon. The film ends with Simon attacking Kathy while she is tied to a bed...but when Simon's actor leaves, the cameras keep rolling, to the actress's confusion. The crew gag her and put plastic sheeting under her, and she screams as Dennis attacks her with a machete. It's revealed that this was a snuff movie, the actress was murdered for real, and that Dennis is being interviewed by the police.

The 'number 9' in this episode is the number of the chalet where the family are staying.

Answer: Empty Orchestra

'Empty Orchestra' is a literal translation of 'karaoke'. It is set at a karaoke party, celebrating the promotion of Roger (Steve Pemberton) to manager. Several of the characters come dressed as pop stars, including Michael Jackson, Britney Spears and Amy Winehouse. Throughout the episode, the pop songs sung by the characters mirror events happening to them. For example, Greg (Reece Shearsmith) and Connie (Tamzin Outhwaite), who are having an affair with each other, sing the Human League's 'Don't You Want Me'; Connie and Fran (Sarah Hadland), Greg's girlfriend, both sing 'I Know Him So Well' from 'Chess' while looking at Greg; and Duane (Javone Prince) sings 'Wham! Rap' while his colleagues are worrying about their jobs. Incidentally, Janet, the deaf character, is played by a deaf actress, Emily Howlett. Howlett had to learn the rhythm of the song Janet sings, 'Only You' by Yazoo, and trained herself to sing different pitches. Parts of the episode are heard from her point of view, via a hearing aid.

The 'number 9' in this episode is a room in a karaoke bar.

Answer: They are entirely in iambic pentameter.

'Zanzibar' is basically a farce, and is set in the Hotel Zanzibar. Fred (Jaygann Ayeh), a bellboy, acts as the narrator, and all characters recite their lines in iambic pentameter, as though they were in a Shakespearean comedy. There's a major misunderstanding involving a prostitute, a wedding ring, an apple pie, a man with a strange fetish and the elderly mother of Robert (Steve Pemberton), but as this is a family website, I can't go into details! Henry (Reece Shearsmith), the minder of Prince Rico, is plotting to kill him, but a hypnotist (Kevin Eldon) stops him. Prince Rico and Gus, another guest (both played by Rory Kinnear), are revealed to be twin brothers, and Mr Green (Bill Patterson), a suicidal old man, is their father. It's also one of the few episodes with a happy ending.

The 'number 9' in this episode is the number of the floor of the hotel where the episode takes place.

Answer: Len is dead, and the episode is taking place at his funeral.

Bernie Clifton is a British comedian, and the entire episode is a love letter to British comedians. Tom (Reece Shearsmith) was once part of a double act with Len (Steve Pemberton), and they performed under the name of Cheese and Crackers (like Morecambe and Wise, Little and Large, Punt and Dennis, and so on). Tom has given up comedy, while Len is a homeless alcoholic; his alcoholism is what eventually ended their career, and Tom walked out on Len. They haven't spoken for 30 years. They perform various sketches, many of which are dated and even racist by today's standards (such as a job interview sketch where Len does different comedy accents while wearing different hats). At the climax of the episode, Len's daughter (Sian Gibson) comes in, and it is revealed that Len is dead; Tom is in a church hall, where Len's funeral is due to be held. Tom and Len sing one last song together.

The 'number 9' in this episode is the number on a wicker box containing costumes and props.

Answer: A hare

The writers stated that each episode would feature a statue of a hare as a kind of Easter egg for viewers to look out for. The hare is more visible in some episodes than others; for example, it appears very early on in 'The Bill' on a shelf on a pillar in the restaurant, and in 'Tom & Gerri', it's on a mantelpiece, while it's hidden in a photograph in 'La Couchette'. The hare statue finally becomes important in 'Tempting Fate', the final episode of the fourth series, when it is found in the flat of Frank, a hoarder (Nigel Planer), and revealed to be cursed. Like the monkey's paw, it grants wishes, but at a terrible price; for instance, Frank's wife wishes to lose weight, and ends up with cancer. Frank is also immortal thanks to the statue, despite having been filmed hanging himself.

The 'number 9' in this episode is Frank's house.