Officer Reporting! Trivia Quiz

Answer: Climsy

Climsy is, if not errantly killed, going to prove one of the most solid, resilient officers in the game, and possibly in unsung fashion too. He has above average growth in his stats and begins the game loyal, making him reliable as well as promising. At the very beginning of the game, Climsy comes to the player already with a maxed out Strength stat. This is notable due to Climsy's age, as older police officers actually have lesser Strength stats. Climsy also has above average accuracy, incentivizing the player to later lean into his Shooting score and making him an asset on Tactical Missions. Moreover, Climsy loses energy at the same rate as younger officers, while he will never report to work drunk like they might, as older officers do not get drunk in this game.

While the player may find themselves wanting to replace older police officers, Climsy should absolutely be the exception.

Answer: Go on Tactical Missions

Bradhi will actually refuse to go on calls, but only if he is being asked to go alongside one or more officers who are not wearing their proper uniforms. Ironically, Bradhi will express that he does not feel comfortable going on a call with a uniform-less officer, despite the fact that he himself rarely ever wears his proper uniform. He will, however, go on a call as long as he is either alone or going with officer(s) wearing their proper uniform.

Bradhi will, with one single exception, refuse to go on Tactical Missions. He will tell the player that the reason for this is that he does not want to get whatever costume he is wearing that day dirtied. The one exception comes at the very end of the game, when the department is being assaulted and the officers must defend the station.

Answer: She is asked to work with low skilled men

Spurlock will refuse any assignment in which she is going alongside a man who has a lower Professionalism score than she does. The player cannot force her to do so, the only form of recourse they have is to "fire" her, which is a plainly horrible idea.

In exchange for dealing with Officer Spurlock's sexism, if the player only sends her by herself, or only sends her with other female officers, everyone involved with the call will earn double experience. This makes Spurlock fantastic at helping officers level up... If they're female, anyway.

Answer: He is asked to work alongside women

Officer Spurlock is willing to at least work with men if they're more skilled than her. Officer Mustard won't even do that, refusing to work with women under any circumstances. With Spurlock, the player has some incentive to keep her around for the long haul. For Mustard, he is useful very early on, but he becomes expendable later.

The player may wish to consider firing him down the road, especially if they end up recruiting a lot of women to their police force.

Answer: Rosencratz & Guildenstern

When these two are on the same call, their combined Professionalism will be straight up doubled. Rosencratz starts with a very high Professionalism of 340, but Guildenstern begins with a paltry 25. Even this is still pretty powerful, as it means they'll have a 730 rating right out of the box when paired together. Thus, the player is incentivized to develop Guildenstern and to a lesser extent Rosencratz throughout the game, as pairing these two becomes more and more powerful the stronger they get.

Answer: Penkin

For the first seven in-game days, Penkin will forcibly take the day off for all manner of incredibly dumb reasons. After that though, he will never request a day off or report to work drunk, so he technically becomes the most reliable officer in the game after Day 7. However, his Professionalism is almost as low as can be, with just a meager 10. This will make Penkin totally useless by himself, mandating another officer to go with him to respond to calls until his Professionalism increases.

On the flip side, Penkin actually has some pretty ridiculous growth potential. The way his growth works is weird, as it's extremely slow until he hits about 115 Professionalism, then it skyrockets into being the cop with the single best growth until roughly 700 Professionalism, then it plateaus into being fairly average the rest of the way.

Answer: Horsemoon

Officer Mercedes Horsemoon is extremely superstitious, which apparently involves being afraid of the dark. That said, her growth is pretty terrible and she has no standout features, so the player could be forgiven for wanting to get rid of her.

Answer: Belmont

Belmont's case is a little bit special. He will very, very angrily refuse a baton if the player tries to equip it on him. If the player tries a second time, this will actually trigger the Disloyal mechanic, and Belmont will no longer be loyal to the player while still refusing the baton. While probably unintentional, the player actually can force a baton on him if they continuously use the "Auto Assign" function with their equipment, as this can randomly give Belmont a baton he will not negatively react to.

Belmont also begins the game with a very low Professionalism of 80. Combined with his aversion to very useful batons and, on paper, it may seem as if he is a prime candidate to get fired.

However, Belmont is extremely useful if invested in. He has an ultra high growth in Shooting, the single highest in the game. He also notably already has access to Freeze! right from the start of the game, which otherwise requires two levels in Shooting to get. This makes Belmont an asset on Tactical Missions, but only if the player does the work to raise his poor beginning Professionalism score.

Answer: He can only do one call a day

Right from the start, the player has to put up with Kurosawa's nonsense in a never-ending sequence of pure annoyance. On Day 1, he isn't even loyal to the player just yet. The only actual good thing to say about him is that he thankfully is made loyal extremely easily, and is done so in a way that that the player gets introduced to the loyalty system entirely.

Even after becoming quickly loyal, though, Kurosawa still sucks. He will only respond to one call a day. Even if it's an easy call or a false alarm, he will refuse to work any further. As well, Kurosawa is the only officer in the game who will not work more than two days in a row under any circumstances.

Having said that, Kurosawa is generally useless throughout the day, but because he comes with above average Intelligence, he is surprisingly useful in Investigations. He is total dead weight on Tactical Missions, however.

Answer: Basant Persy

Persy has the (dis)honor of being the one and only officer in the entire game to begin with a Professionalism score of 5, not even a double digit number! This was also the case in the first "This is the Police", as an officer by the exact same name was in the exact same situation.

Persy's situation is unique. Instead of having to pay him, the player is actually paid to hire him by the Sheriff's department.

Unfortunately, Persy's Growths are actually all fairly average. Unlike Officer Penkin, the game does not actually manually reward the player for training Persy. As such, there isn't any reason, on paper, to keep Persy around, apart from the one-time payment the player receives for hiring him.

However, as this is a video game with a video game community of human being players, of course, there are people out there who decided to, in the words of a fellow Redditor, "Show your defiance of Weappy by making him your best cop, just like you did in the big city."