One Quarter - A Day at the Arcade in 1987 Quiz

Answer: Asteroids

"Asteroids" is a classic black and white arcade game that turns a basic geometry lesson into a stressful interstellar nightmare. You control a tiny, white triangle representing a spaceship trapped in a deadly cosmic boulder field where giant rocks drift across the screen like drifting minivans on ice. Your goal is to blast the giant rocks into medium rocks, and then into tiny, super-fast rocks that are impossible to dodge. To make matters worse, the game features realistic momentum, meaning if you press the thrust button too hard, your ship will slide uncontrollably off the screen or straight into a space rock.

It also includes an ominous, heartbeat-style soundtrack that speeds up as you play, perfectly mimicking your actual heart rate as you frantically mash the hyperspace button to avoid getting flattened by a rogue pebble.

Answer: Karate Champ

"Karate Champ" is the precursor of modern fighting games...step aside Chun-Li. However, in this game, players to use two joysticks at the same time just to throw a single punch. You control a martial artist in a white gi fighting a clone of yourself in a red gi while a referee stands in the background like a disapproving principal, yelling out commands and waving flags.

There are no health bars here; instead, the action stops instantly whenever you land a clean hit so the judge can award points.

The game also includes bizarre bonus rounds where you are forced to punch incoming charging bulls right in the face, proving that real karate masters do not need a gym, they just need a total lack of fear and a very questionable approach to animal safety.

Answer: Dragon's Lair

"Dragon's Lair" is a stunning LOOKING arcade game that is essentially a high-stakes, animated cartoon movie that hates you and wants your character to die and you to be forced into penury. You play as Dirk the Daring, a clumsy knight who must infiltrate a magical castle to rescue Princess Daphne from a giant, fire-breathing dragon. Unlike normal games where you freely move around, this game used cutting-edge LaserDisc technology to play a continuous cartoon film. Your only job is to watch the screen and twitch your joystick or press the sword button at the exact right microsecond to avoid a booby trap. If you press the button a fraction of a second too late, the game instantly cuts to a "hilarious" animation of Dirk melting into a skeleton, getting crushed by a giant bowling ball, or falling down a bottomless pit.

It was famous for eating up quarters like candy, proving that beautiful graphics in 1983 came at the price of massive frustration at best and a homicidal rage at worst.

Answer: Black Tiger

"Black Tiger" is a brutal action-platformer that basically asks what would happen if a muscular barbarian went shopping in the middle of a dungeon apocalypse. You control a hero armed with a spiked chain whip and a seemingly endless supply of throwing daggers that fly out every time you attack. Your main quest is to explore massive, maze-like levels to slay three evil dragons, but you spend most of your time smacking walls to find hidden treasures or freeing frozen old wise men who thank you by opening up literal retail shops in the middle of a monster lair. You collect a unique currency called Zenny, which you immediately spend on stronger armor and anti-poisoning potions because the local wildlife-including aggressive mummies, spinning skulls, and toxic plants-wants nothing more than to end your journey. It is a tough-as-nails manly arcade classic where managing your wallet is just as important as dodging deadly falling rocks.

This game is also almost the exact opposite of "Dragon's Lair", because while "Dragon's Lair" would leave you impoverished in twelve minutes, you could play "Black Tiger" for nearly two hours on a single quarter. Something I did on more than one occasion at the Cork 'n Bottle to the ultimate frustration of the owner. The machine was gone the day after my last epic run.

Answer: Battlezone

In "Battlezone" you look through a plastic periscope and step directly into a glowing green neon nightmare - like a monochromatic "Tron". You control a tank in a first-person perspective, navigating a flat, virtual plain populated by weird geometric shapes, volcanoes, and enemy tanks out for your blood.

Instead of realistic graphics, the entire game is made out of "vector graphics," which means everything looks like it was constructed out of glowing, futuristic neon wire. You have to use two joysticks simultaneously to drive and turn your tank like a real military vehicle while listening to the loud, rumbling engine sounds shaking the cabinet.

It even features a random, fast-moving UFO(!?!) that flies around the sky doing absolutely nothing except distracting you right before an enemy tank missile blasts you into glowing green pieces.

Answer: Centipede

"Centipede" turns basic backyard gardening into an intense, hyper-speed alien invasion. You control a tiny weapon called a Bug Blaster confined to a small safety zone at the bottom of a screen covered in colorful mushrooms. Your main goal is to shoot a giant, multi-segmented centipede that slithers down the screen toward you, but there is a major catch: every time you shoot a segment, it turns into a new mushroom, forcing the creature to change direction and speed up. To make your life a total panic, the game constantly drops aggressive fleas that spam the screen with more mushrooms, poisonous scorpions that drive the centipede insane, and a hyperactive spider that bounces around just to ruin your day. It uses a trackball controller that requires you to roll your hand across it so fast you might actually get friction burns.

The tabletop version had a trackball so heavy it left blood blisters. Yard work in the '80s was a hazardous job.

Answer: Space Invaders

"Space Invaders", the granddaddy of all arcade shooters and along with "Pac-Man" is still one of the most iconic early video games. You control a lone laser cannon stuck at the bottom of the screen, desperately shooting at rows of pixelated aliens that slowly march back and forth, descending upon you like a creeping wall of doom. You have four green bunkers to hide behind, but your own panic-fuelled lasers will blast holes through your shields just as fast as the alien bombs do. The absolute best part of the game was actually an accidental glitch: because the early computer hardware struggled to move so many graphics, the aliens moved slowly at first, but sped up dramatically as you killed them off and lightened the system's load, proving that a computer programming mistake could accidentally become the most stressful and addictive gaming mechanic of the decade.

Answer: Ms. Pac-Man

"Ms. Pac-Man" is the legendary sequel that took everything great about the original maze game, slapped a pink bow and some lipstick on the main character, and created an absolute arcade masterpiece. Your job is still to gobble up dots inside a maze while being chased by four colorful ghosts, but the developers smartened up the enemy ghosts so they no longer follow predictable, easily memorized pathways - memorizing that Yours Truly was inordinately proud of being able to do. To make things even more chaotic, the mazes change colors and layouts across different levels, and the bonus fruits randomly hop around the screen like escaping snacks instead of sitting safely in the center.

The game was actually created by a group of college kids who built a modified version of the original game, called "Crazy Otto", without permission, but the game was so much fun that the official company bought it up and made it one of the best-selling arcade cabinet games in history.

Answer: Joust

"Joust" asks what would happen if medieval times were held in a volcano and horses were replaced by giant, flightless birds. You play as a knight riding a giant ostrich who must flap his wings furiously to navigate floating stone platforms and defeat enemy knights riding buzzards.

The combat rules are completely ridiculous: if you collide with an enemy and your ostrich is even a millimetre higher than theirs, you instantly crush them into a floating egg; but if they are higher, you get instantly vaporized. If you don't collect the floating eggs quickly enough, they will hatch right on the screen, spawning an even faster and more annoyed knight. To make the arena an absolute panic, if you take too long to clear a level, an invincible, terrifying pterodactyl flies onto the screen at hyperspeed just to chew on your ostrich.

Answer: Punch-Out!!

"Punch-Out!!" turned professional boxing into a high-speed lineup of massive, cartoon stereotypes...[Yours Truly pauses recalling Manny 'The Mexecutioner' Pacquiao, Marcos 'El Chino' Maidana, Jimmy 'The Jew Killer' McLarnin...Jeezus!! So exactly like real boxing.]

You play as a green-haired challenger seen from a behind-the-back view, which makes you look tiny compared to your towering opponents like Glass Joe or Bald Bull. Instead of just button-mashing, you have to carefully watch your opponent's face. If a giant boxer winks, shakes his hips, or flashes his eyes yellow, it means he is about to throw a punch that will knock you into next week.

The original arcade cabinet was a massive spectacle because it featured two monitors stacked on top of each other, allowing the top screen to show stats while the bottom screen showed you getting pummeled. It also featured a loud, robotic voice synthesizer that constantly yelled instructions at you, ensuring the entire arcade could hear your (read "my") humiliating defeat whenever you failed to dodge a giant hook.