My Flower Garden Killed Grandpa Quiz

Answer: Giant Hogweed

Giant hogweed is one of those evil plants that would twirl a mustache if it had one. Native to the Caucasus region, it was originally introduced to Western gardens in the 19th century because of its impressive size and ornamental appeal... if prehistoric jungles appeal to you. The plant's broad leaves and towering flower clusters make it look almost whimsical, but that whimsy ends the moment you touch it.

The plant's sap contains furanocoumarins, compounds that cause phytophotodermatitis when exposed to sunlight. This results in severe skin inflammation, blistering, and long-lasting scars. In some cases, contact with hogweed followed by sun exposure has led to third-degree burns. If it gets in your eyes, it can even cause temporary or permanent blindness. Invasive and dangerous, it's now on many noxious weed lists and subject to active eradication efforts in the U.S., Canada, and the U.K.

Answer: Hemlock

Hemlock (Conium maculatum) may look harmless with its delicate little white flowers and twee fern-like leaves, but make no mistake. This plant is up to something. Historically infamous for being the beverage of choice in ancient Greek executions, hemlock was administered to condemned prisoners, most famously the philosopher Socrates in 399 BCE. His death, reportedly calm and measured as he succumbed to paralysis, made the plant a grim reminder of the inherent dangers of philosophy run amok. (Think about the children!)

The plant is rich in coniine--a real word I assure you--a neurotoxin that disrupts signals between nerves and muscles. When ingested, symptoms include trembling, salivation, paralysis, respiratory failure, and ultimately death. Even a small amount of the plant - especially the seeds and roots - can be fatal. Its stems can remain toxic for years, making old, dried hemlock no safer than the freshly-picked stuff (Pardon me, Todd. Why are you picking poison hemlock?). Misidentification is another hazard, as it resembles wild carrot and parsley, but is not as welcome on a salad.

Answer: Deadly Nightshade

Deadly nightshade (Atropa belladonna) is the femme fatale of the plant world: dark, alluring, and lethally toxic. With shiny black berries and dusky purple bell-shaped flowers, it looks like something that belongs in a fairy tale... one with a terribly tragic ending. You know, the original versions where everyone dies horribly.

Its name is a nod to its past use as a cosmetic: during the Renaissance, some women used drops made from the plant to dilate their pupils in the pursuit of seductive beauty (I don't get it, but then I don't get the whole Goop scene either). The side effects included blurred vision, rapid heartbeat, and, of course, possible death, all in the name of making someone look stoned.

The plant is loaded with tropane alkaloids, including atropine, scopolamine, and hyoscyamine, which interfere with the parasympathetic nervous system. Ingestion can cause dry mouth, hallucinations, delirium, seizures, and cardiac arrest. Children have died after eating just a few berries, which look alarmingly like blueberries. The whole plant is toxic, but the berries are especially treacherous because they taste mildly sweet.

Answer: Manchineel

The manchineel (Hippomane mancinella) is the botanical equivalent of a cartoon villain: smiling on the outside, pure malice in its soul. It's an unassuming coastal tree with bright green leaves and small fruit that resembles crabapples. Tourists unfamiliar with its dark legend (and the whole little-apple-of-death thing) have occasionally tried the fruit... once. Known locally as the "beach apple" or the more evocative "manzanilla de la muerte," this tree is so toxic that many areas now label it with warning signs or paint red rings around its trunk to keep people away.

Its bark, sap, leaves, and fruit all contain potent toxins, especially phorbol esters, which cause severe dermatitis and blistering. Rainwater dripping from its leaves can carry enough sap to burn exposed skin. Inhaling the smoke from burning manchineel wood can result in serious respiratory distress and temporary (or even permanent) blindness. And although few dare to eat the fruit, anecdotal reports suggest violent gastrointestinal distress followed by the Big Sleep.

Answer: Oleander

Oleander (Nerium oleander) may look like a beauty, but inside there lurks a beast. With its lush green leaves and blooms in pink, white, red, or yellow, it's a popular ornamental plant from California to the Mediterranean. It thrives in warm climates, tolerates drought, and doesn't mind pollution. All in all, it's the kind of plant that seems like it's doing you a favor just by existing.

But here's the catch: it hates you. Every part of the plant from root to flower is laced with cardiac glycosides. These compounds mess with the electrical activity of your heart, potentially leading to nausea, vomiting, erratic heart rhythms, and death. Even a single leaf can be fatal to a child. There are documented cases of accidental poisonings, including from people using oleander sticks to roast marshmallows (FunTrivia does not endorse this practice in any way). Despite this, it continues to be widely planted. Some people just like to live dangerously.

Answer: Rosary Pea

The rosary pea (Abrus precatorius) is one plant you want to keep an eye on, because it's watching you... and waiting. Native to parts of Asia and Africa, it has since spread its wrath across the tropics and subtropics, becoming an aggressively invasive species. It climbs and strangles other plants with cheerful abandon, displaying adorable and dainty pink or purple flowers and bright red seeds with a black spot, seeds that look so charming, you'd never guess they contain a murder-grade toxin.

That toxin is abrin, which is similar to ricin but significantly more potent. The outer shell of the seed is actually very hard and most probably kind of harmless if swallowed whole (that's not a dare). But if chewed or cracked open at all, abrin can enter the bloodstream and cause symptoms such as vomiting, organ failure, and death. Just one chewed seed is considered enough to kill an adult. Despite this, the seeds are still used in rosaries, necklaces, and traditional instruments like maracas. In fact, accidental poisonings often occur during jewelry-making when the seeds are drilled. This is why I don't do crafts.

Answer: Pong-Pong

The pong-pong tree (Cerbera odollam) may sound like a party game, but it's more of a funeral director's marketing assistant. It grows in coastal and swampy regions, particularly in India, Sri Lanka, and Southeast Asia. A member of the Apocynaceae family, it produces milky sap and small green fruits that contain a potent secret weapon: cerberin.

Cerberin is a cardiac glycoside that disrupts the electrical signals in the heart, causing arrhythmias, cardiac arrest, and sudden death. Unlike some other poisonous plants that prefer to kill by accident, pong-pong is infamous in forensic toxicology. Its seeds have been used in suicides, especially in parts of India where the tree grows readily and the fruit is easily accessible. Because the symptoms can resemble a heart attack and standard toxicology screens often miss cerberin, some murders involving pong-pong have gone undetected. In short: if you see a fruit that looks like an unripe mango and it's growing on a tree that's watching you funny... walk away.

Answer: Wolfsbane

Wolfsbane (Aconitum napellus) is the kind of plant that should line the inside of a prison wall, but instead, it shows up in cottage gardens with charming purple or blue hood-shaped flowers, smiling like the pretty liar it is. Native to Europe and found in mountainous regions, it's long been associated with dark folklore. Its name references its former use in poisoning wolves (and occasionally, people who irritated medieval herbalists, one imagines).

The plant contains potent alkaloids, particularly aconitine, which interferes with nerve signaling and can lead to vomiting, numbness, paralysis, arrhythmias, and death. It's so toxic that simply handling it with bare hands can cause symptoms, especially if there are cuts or abrasions. Ingesting even a small amount--say, nibbling on a root, leaf, or flower for some reason--is potentially fatal. Historically, it's been used in arrow poisons, and in more recent times, it's occasionally turned up in criminal cases. Despite the danger, it's still widely sold as an ornamental plant. So pretty. So polite. So deeply hateful.

Answer: Gympie-gympie

"For two or three days the pain was almost unbearable; I couldn't work or sleep... I remember it feeling like there were giant hands trying to squash my chest... then it was pretty bad pain for another fortnight or so. The stinging persisted for two years and recurred every time I had a cold shower...There's nothing to rival it; it's ten times worse than anything else."

--Ernie Rider of the Queensland Parks and Wildlife Service

The Gympie-gympie (Dendrocnide moroides) may sound like a children's game, but it's actually one of the most painful plants on Earth. It grows in rainforest areas of northeastern Australia and parts of Indonesia and is technically a type of tree nettle. Its soft, velvety-looking leaves are heart-shaped, and if that seems charming, know this: every inch of it-leaves, stems, even the fruit-is covered in tiny, needle-like silica hairs filled with a potent neurotoxin.

Contact with these hairs causes excruciating pain, described by victims as akin to being burned with hot acid or electrocuted. The pain can last for days, weeks, or even longer, with some people experiencing recurring flare-ups months after exposure. Even brushing lightly against the leaves is enough to trigger symptoms. There are stories - probably true - of horses dying after bumping into one, and of soldiers needing to be sedated because of the agony. So if you ever find yourself in the Australian rainforest and see a bush with a "do not touch" sign, it's probably this one. And if you're still not convinced, reread Ernie Rider's endorsement above.

Answer: Castor Bean

The castor bean plant (Ricinus communis) is a tall, dramatic-looking ornamental with star-shaped leaves and prickly seed pods that seem to shout, "Touch me, I dare you." Despite its striking beauty, this plant has one of the most infamous reputations in the world of toxicology. The seeds contain ricin, a protein that inhibits ribosomes and shuts down cell function, effectively turning off your body's ability to stay alive.

Ingesting even a few chewed castor seeds can result in abdominal pain, vomiting, diarrhea, seizures, and death. Ricin was notably used in a Cold War-era assassination (the umbrella murder of Georgi Markov), and continues to appear in headlines anytime someone tries to mail toxic substances to politicians. Castor oil, derived from the seeds after ricin has been carefully removed, has been used medicinally for centuries primarily to evacuate bowels with extreme prejudice. It was also once employed in more coercive ways, including as a punishment in fascist Italy. So whether you take it in oil form or in bean form, the castor plant has a long history of discomfort.