Soy You Think You Know Your Condiments? Quiz

Answer: Tomato Ketchup

Ketchup is the undisputed king of American condiments, its realm stretching from the fabulous French fry to the magnificent meatloaf. It's a simple mix of tomato paste, vinegar, sugar, salt, and a blend of spices, often including onion powder, garlic powder, and allspice.

Ketchup has an exotic history. It evolved from a fermented fish sauce called "kę-tsiap", brought to Europe from Southeast Asia in the 17th century. The English, known for their culinary prowess and love of flavor, tinkered with the recipe trying various bases such as mushrooms, but much like stargazy pie (don't look it up), it just never really caught on.

However, it did finally make it to the American colonies, and it was the United States which perfected the sugary acidic version we know today.

Answer: Vegemite

If you're hungry, you've come to the wrong place, because vegemite is the condiment only an Aussie could love. It is made from leftover brewers' yeast extract along with wheat and malt extract. Vegemite was invented in 1922 by an evil chemist named Cyril Callister as an alternative to British Marmite after World War I disrupted imports from the motherland.

It's thick, dark brown, extremely salty, and ready to wrestle a crocodile. It has a rich umami taste that makes it more of a savory seasoning than most spreads, but for some reason, it hasn't quite caught on with the rest of the world.

Answer: Mayonnaise

It's thick. It's white. It's creamy. It's mayo, and it's made primarily from oil, egg yolks, and an acid such as vinegar or lemon juice. The magic happens during the emulsification process, where the egg yolks act as a stabilizer, allowing the oil and vinegar (which would normally not mix) to form a smooth, unified sauce.

Its origin story is debated, but it's believed to have come from Spain and brought to France in the eighteenth century. The Russians can't get enough of it, Americans put it on cold pasta, and the Japanese put it on ice cream, because of course they do.

Two tablespoons of mayo have about 180 calories, more than a typical American bottle of beer, so choose wisely.

Answer: Brown Sauce

Brown sauce, a name as flavo(u)rful as British cuisine, is a savo(u)ry condiment enjoyed across the UK and Ireland, especially as a companion to a full English breakfast or a bacon sandwich. Its signature flavo(u)r comes from a blend of tomatoes, malt vinegar, molasses, dates, tamarind, and spices. The result is a dark, rich, and slightly sweet sauce with a sharp, fruity kick that I'm told goes well with greasy or hearty foods.

The most famous brand is HP Sauce, named after the Houses of Parliament. Introduced in the late 19th century, it became a staple in British kitchens. While A1 Steak Sauce in the U.S. shares some similarities, brown sauce is typically tangier in flavor.

Answer: Relish

Relish is a broad term for any condiment made of finely chopped vegetables, fruits, or herbs preserved in vinegar or brine. In the United States, the most iconic version is sweet pickle relish, often made from chopped cucumbers, onions, sugar, vinegar, and spices. It's a hot dog stand staple and a key ingredient in tartar sauce and deviled eggs, all of which make up three of the four food groups here in the States.

Globally, relish comes in many varieties. India has its chutneys, which can be sweet or spicy. I'm told the Brits love piccalilli, a mustard-based relish with cauliflower and other veggies. In the American South, chow-chow combines cabbage, peppers, and green tomatoes, typically served with beans and cornbread.

Answer: Salsa

Salsa is Spanish for "sauce", proving that Mexicans would rather just get on with the cooking than spend too much time thinking up fancy names. It's a catch-all term in Mexican cuisine that covers a huge range of spicy, savory, and sometimes sweet sauces. The kind most of us think of is salsa fresca or pico de gallo, made from chopped tomatoes, chili peppers, onions, cilantro, and lime juice. It's served raw with tortilla chips, tacos, or grilled meats.

Variations include salsa verde (made with the mysterious tomatillo), salsa roja (cooked red salsa), and salsa macha (oil-based with dried chiles and nuts). Some are cooked and blended until smooth, while others are raw and chunky. The heat level can range from mild to mildly volcanic.

Answer: Worcestershire Sauce

Good old Worcestershire sauce. The word is pronounced WUSS-ter-sheer according to the dictionary, but an informal poll conducted around my home finds that other acceptable pronunciations include WORST-a-sheer, WUST-eh-sher, or WASH-a-shor.

It is a fermented liquid condiment that originated in England in the 19th century. Created by chemists John Lea and William Perrins in the city of Worteshtashire, the sauce blends vinegar, molasses, sugar, salt, spices, onions, garlic, tamarind, and anchovies. It was originally developed as a medicinal tonic but quickly became a staple around the world, kind of like cocaine.

The fermentation process, which lasts over a year, gives Wirshtoshor its umami flavor that adds a little depth to dishes like Caesar salads, burgers, stews, and apparently Welsh rarebit. It's often used as a secret splash in marinades and gravies. While vegetarian versions of Washtasheer now exist, the classic recipe remains one of the few common condiments made with fermented fish. Enjoy!

Answer: Soy Sauce

Soy sauce is a salty, umami-rich condiment made by fermenting soybeans, wheat, salt, and water, an ancient technique that dates back over 2,000 years in China. The fermentation process can take months, allowing the flavors to develop. The result? A savory, dark liquid that adds a little oomph to everything from stir-fries and sushi to soups and marinades.

There are many regional variations: Chinese soy sauce comes in both light (thin and salty) and dark (thicker and sweet) Japanese soy sauce (shoyu) tends to be slightly sweeter and less intense, while tamari is a thicker version with less wheat.

Answer: Vinegar

Vinegar is the result of a two-step fermentation process. First, sugar-rich substances (like fruit juice, grain mash, or rice) are fermented by yeast into alcohol. Then, bacteria convert that alcohol into acetic acid, the compound that gives vinegar its sharp taste and powerful cleaning power. Most culinary vinegars contain about 4-7% acetic acid, diluted in water.

If versatility is what you want, vinegar has it all. It pickles your veggies, dresses your salads, and scrubs out the toughest bathroom grime. When it's not feeding your cravings, it's murdering weeds with ruthless efficiency in your sidewalk cracks. And just when you think it's done, surprise! It been moonlighting as a curing agent in silicone caulk all this time.

Answer: Honey

Honey is made when bees collect flower nectar, partially digest it in their stomachs, and then spew it back up into their honeycombs, where it's fanned by their wings until most of the water evaporates. The result is a thick, sugary substance humans have used as a natural sweetener, preservative, and even medicine for thousands of years.

While it lacks the cleaning power of vinegar, it makes up for it by being the only trace of humanity that will survive a major extinction event. Honey is so low in moisture and high in acidity that it's nearly impossible to spoil. Archaeologists have found pots of still-edible honey in ancient Egyptian tombs. If you're wondering as I did... yes, they tasted it.