War Is Hell! But Sometimes Hilarious - Allo, Allo Quiz

Answer: Nouvion

Although the establishment which is central to the programme is supposedly fictitious; there must be thousands of 'Cafés René' in France, the village of 'Nouvion' actually exists. Nouvion, which is also referred to as Nouvion-en-Ponthieu, is a small village or commune of around twelve hundred souls located in the Picardy region of north-eastern France. During the making of the programme, no filming ever took place in Nouvion but was instead filmed in the county of Norfolk in the east of England.

Answer: 'The Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies' by Van Klomp

When the town of Nouvion fell to the German Forces, its valuable artworks were stolen by the Germans, one of which was Van Klomp's painting 'The Fallen Madonna' referred to by everyone who has seen it as the 'Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies'. The painting is kept by the local German Commandant and his senior staff officer to provide them with a nest egg for once the war is over.

However, Hitler himself learns of the painting and sends Herr Otto Flick of the Gestapo to Nouvion to retrieve the painting and return it to him in Berlin. Reproductions of the painting are made by a local forger but these get mixed up with the real painting which are rolled and concealed in knackwurst sausages and secreted in the cellar at Café René for safekeeping.

It is strange to see, on a visit to Longleat House, a British stately home, a copy of the painting of 'The Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies' that had been commissioned by the BBC and presented to 6th Marquis of Bath for his assistance with the programme.

Answer: Earplugs or cheese

"Boom!
Why did my heart go boom,
Me and my heart go boom,
Boom titty boom once I found you".
"Boom!
(René - "Edith, you've cleared the room!")
I can see love in bloom,
Boom titty boom all around you".

Only slightly more tuneless than Madame Edith's singing voice is that of her mother, Madame Fanny La Fan, played by Rose Hill, and on those occasions when they both entertain the patrons the sound is dreadful; so bad in fact that the locals were known to stick cheese in their ears to block out the sound! Search for this and other musical gems from the show and I promise you lots of sniggering! Ironically both Carmen Silvera and Rose Hill could both sing well; Rose Hill particularly, had enjoyed a long and successful career as an operatic soprano having performed with both the Royal Shakespeare Company and Sadler's Wells Company which later became the English National Opera.

Answer: Vicki Michelle (Yvette Carte-Blanche)

Wet celery, a flying helmet and occasionally an egg-whisk are all implements used by Yvette to entertain German officers in the rooms above the café. However, Yvette loves René and wants to run away with him to get married in Switzerland. Unfortunately for Yvette, events conspire to ensure that René must remain with his wife Edith. Unbeknown to Yvette, he was also having a relationship with the other waitress at the café, both Mimi LaBonq and Maria Recamier albeit on different occasions during the show's run, neither of which had any idea that he is seeing the other at the same time!

Answer: The Gaullist Resistance

The Gaullist Resistance was one branch of a much wider organisation that carried the war to the Wehrmacht in the occupied areas of France. Michelle Dubois was the leader of the Nouvion cell and was always devising plans for disrupting the German lines of communication and for helping with any plans for the return of the British airmen to England. Confusingly, and this arises because the viewer is expected to imagine the cast speaking French and not English, she is the only character that can actually speak English.

In order to obtain help from René with an operation that Michelle has planned, she leads René to believe that she has a crush on him... Unfortunately for her, he believes this to be true!

Answer: Bedknobs on her bed flashed

It is common knowledge in Nouvion that many years ago, Mme Fanny La Fan had a secret admirer; a young artist who gave her paintings and cut off an ear as a token of his admiration for her. Mme La Fan is constantly being 'courted' by Roger LeClerc, a local forger who was originally asked to produce the forged copies of Van Klomp's 'Fallen Madonna' and who believes himself to be a master of disguise; which he most certainly is not! Mme La Fan lived in the attic rooms above Café René which unfortunately for her was where the British airmen were also hidden away. On rare occasions Mme La Fan will join her daughter, Mme Edith, in providing song a dance entertainment for, if it can be called entertainment, the locals and the occupying Germans in the bar at Café René. For those who might be unfamiliar with the term, a 'gazunder' is a slang name that was used to refer to a chamber pot; it takes its name from the fact that it 'gazunder' (goes under) your bed.

Answer: The British airmen

A thread that ran through all nine series of 'Allo, Allo', were the attempts to return the British airmen back to England. Royal Air Force Flight Lieutenants Fairfax and Carstairs, played by John D. Collins and Nicholas Frankau respectively appeared in series one to seven of the programme's run, finally escaping back to England at the end of series seven although the viewer is given no further information as to how this was achieved; given the comedic effort that the writers had put into previous series, and the importance to the programme as a whole that had been placed on the return of the British airmen, this was something of a disappointment.

Answer: False

Barely an episode would pass where René was not caught in a compromising situation with at least one of his waitresses; in some instances Edith may catch him out on more than one occasion in a single episode. René would always respond with "You stupid woman!" before formulating any one of a number of outlandishly unbelievable excuses for doing so! For example, after being caught downstairs, in the dark and wearing only his dressing gown and holding Yvette in his arms, Rene's answer to his wife was that Yvette was upset that he and Edith had not been able to elope together and that the reason that she was wearing roller skates is that she was "skating to the orphanage, the only place where she knows true 'appiness"... What is even more unbelievable is that Mme Edith always believed everything that she was told!

Answer: GENERAL ERICH VON KLINKERHOFFEN!

Private Helga Geerhart was the apple of Herr Flick of the Gestapo's eye; although he would never admit as much. Barely an episode of 'Allo, Allo' went by where Helga wouldn't display her stocking tops or find herself reduced to being dressed in nothing more than her Basque or her silk knickers, "ze ones mit ze little swastikas" that Herr Flick was so enamoured of. Perhaps Helga's most popular catchphrase was "May I kiss you, Herr Flick?" Kim Hartman, the actress who played Helga, now has her own production company, 'Quinton Arts', which she founded and runs in partnership with her husband.

Answer: 1992

Between 1982 and 1992 85 episodes, in nine series, including the pilot and two Christmas specials were broadcast. In 1994 a special edition was broadcast by the BBC which consisted, in the main, of clips from the show interspersed with cast interviews.

In 1990 Gorden Kaye was seriously injured whilst driving home after filming when gale force winds blew a piece of an advertising board through his car windscreen resulting in him suffering severe head injuries; the scar with which the storm left him can be clearly seen in subsequent episodes. Who says that the Germans don't have a sense of humour? In 2008 a German television channel purchased the rights to broadcast all nine series which were to be overdubbed into German!