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Subject: Cat's Corner

Posted by: Catreona
Date: Nov 11 20

A virtual blog to post updates on my mother's illness and other thoughts

629 replies. On page 1 of 32 pages. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32

Catreona

Nov. 09, 8:30 PM
Friends, my mother, Barbara Walsh Ervin, is very ill. As far as we can tell, she suffered a stroke this evening. Please keep her in your prayers.

MOM UPDATE: Nov. 10, 1:30 PM
Things aren't great. She rallied somewhat during the night, but by morning she couldn't stand and was having difficulty turning over or sitting up in bed unaided. Her speech is now all but unintelligible and she's having difficulty drinking, as if her lips and tongue were numb. She's understandably confused, distressed and exhausted, having gotten little sleep last night.

Please continue to pray for her as well as for my dad and sister, Honore, who are working valiantly to take care of her. As I write, Dad is contacting the company with which he has longterm care insurance. Please add a prayer that all goes well with this and there are as few delays as possible.

Reply #1. Nov 11 20, 1:49 PM

Catreona

MOM UPDATE:
It's not looking good. She doesn't seem to be sleeping, though she does rest quietly much of the time. occasionally she has clear bursts. For the most part, though, communication remains very difficult. She's barely eating or drinking - Sis got some orange juice in her this morning, but that's all. She remains agitated and confused, understandably.

Dad has been in contact with the insurance company, so that process has started. If I understand correctly, the home care company needs to do an evaluation. This would normally be in person, but in light of the pandemic it will probably be virtual. We're waiting on that. In the meantime, Sis and Dad are working hard to keep Mom comfortable. My roll has become night watchman so they can get some sleep.

Reply #2. Nov 11 20, 1:52 PM

terraorca

She is in my prayers.

Reply #3. Nov 11 20, 5:43 PM

rubytops

Thanks Cat for putting up the blog on here. Still praying for you all.

Reply #4. Nov 12 20, 1:43 AM

Catreona

Things looking slightly better. Mom had a quiet night last night. She has been eating a little: Thin oatmeal with raisins for breakfast, a clementine (small orange) and some cheese for a snack, and her coffee frappe in the afternoon. Broth is planned for supper.

Dad has been wrestling with the official end of things. The practice Mom had been going to for years closed this summer (without so much as sending out a letter to patients! So, Dad had already been chasing around, trying to find a new doctor for her, but noone in the area is taking new patients. Then this happened, and no agency or company etc. can do anything without a doctor's say so. He ghinkx he's finally found someone. Keep fingers crossed that the tele-appointment scheduled for tomorrow morning works out so things can go forward with getting her the care she needs.

Reply #5. Nov 12 20, 4:11 PM

Catreona

Thanks, Mark and Ruby! ♥

Reply #6. Nov 12 20, 4:12 PM

rubytops

Thank you for taking the time to update Cat.
Glad you mom seems a little better and is taking some food and liquid. Awful to be in the middle of doctors no man's land and especially in these times. I hope the telephone discussion goes well and your father can arrange for the care she needs.
Stay strong.
Ruby

Reply #7. Nov 12 20, 4:55 PM

Catreona

Thanks, Ruby. I'll definitely let you know what happens.

Reply #8. Nov 12 20, 6:28 PM

Duchess716

All the best to you and your family, continued prayers.

Reply #9. Nov 13 20, 10:32 AM

Catreona

MOM UPDATE:
The tele-conference went well; so, the home care company can get things started. Evaluation scheduled for early next week.

Mom herself is little changed. She's eating and drinking some. Having someone with her seem to calm her somewhat, but then she sends you away after a short time saying she wants to rest or sleep. Mostly her speech is garbled, but once in a while it's crystal clear. I pointed out that her kitty was in the chair keeping guard to which Mom responded clear as a bell, "She's a sweet girl." So, I don't know what to think. Cautious optimism maybe? Trying to stay upbeat for her sake anyway. The last thing she needs is to be discouraged by our attitude.

I found therapy balls and requested priority shipping. Hopefully, they will arrive promptly and we can at least get her started on that basic therapy.

Reply #10. Nov 13 20, 3:07 PM

rubytops

Good news that the evaluation will be early next week. One step further on.
Glad you got the stress balls on order, hope they arrive soon.
Good she is still eating and drinking something and communicating with you. You are all doing what you can supporting your mom and each other.
God bless,
Virtual hug,
Ruby

Reply #11. Nov 13 20, 4:30 PM

terraorca

Eating and drinking is a good thing.
Don't forget about taking care of yourself.

Reply #12. Nov 13 20, 5:25 PM

Catreona

MOM UPDATE:

So far today, little to report (which is a good thing, I suppose). Mom had a quiet night. This morning she is confused and agitated. Wasn't able to finish her oatmeal. Right now she's resting.

Reply #13. Nov 14 20, 11:11 AM

rubytops

Thanks for update.

Reply #14. Nov 14 20, 4:33 PM

Catreona

MOM UPDATE:
No particular change from yesterday.

Reply #15. Nov 15 20, 2:39 PM

Catreona

MOM UPDATE:
She had a quiet night and was able to sleep a little in the morning. She asked for something to eat not long ago and seems more aware of the world around her.

Dad had a call in late morning from the hosp is people. Come to find out, they do not actually *do* anything or provide any services. They coordinate and arrange. The social worker who called gave Dad yet another company to contact.

Meanwhile, it has been a week since my mother's stroke and she is not getting the proper nursing, OT and other care. Sis does all the day to day, hour to hour caring and she is on the ragged edge. Dad does what he can and is distraught and exhausted. I am useless. No, that is *not* self pity; it is mere stark fact. And this social worker told Dad someone would call him tomorrow. Pardon my French, friends, but bloody hell and holy sh*t! While the for profit health care bureaucracy grinds along, my mother is suffering and my father and sister get ever closer to nervous breakdown. There's got to be a better way! There's got to be someone who can get my family the help they need!

Please, everybody, carry on storming the heavens. Pray for my mother's recovery and that Dad and Sis may find the physical and emotional strength to carry on until help arrives.

Reply #16. Nov 16 20, 12:41 PM

Catreona

MOM UPDATE:
Progress! The nurse came this afternoon. She did a thorough evaluation. At first Mom seemed pretty out of it, but she rallied, being able to answer questions remarkably clearly. Sis told the nurse this was by far the sharpest Mom has been since the stroke. It tired her, of course, so she's resting now.

The preliminary prescriptions are already at the pharmacy and Dad has gone to pick them up. They will make her more comfortable. And there will be a big box of palliative care supplies coming tomorrow.

It's going to be quite a production, but they're coming tomorrow to get the hospital bed set up.

Don't know about Sis and Dad, but I feel my anxiety much lightened now things are falling into place. I don't know whether she will recover (or to what extent(, or if these are her last days. She'll be comfortable though, and that's what matters.

Reply #17. Nov 16 20, 4:01 PM

rubytops

Cat, I read your first mom update of today and felt really concerned and didn't really know how to reply apart from saying that although you are not able to physically do much your presence and support in the situation will be worth such a lot to your father, sister and mom. After reading your first mom update for today as requested I did pray for you and for all aspects of the situation the family were in. I have just gone back into your blog to reply and saw the further update you had posted in the meantime. God surely answers our prayers. It is so good that things have moved on and the evaluation has now been made and the meds are in the pipeline and care package arriving. I continue to pray for you all.
I am off to bed now here in the UK.
Ruby

Reply #18. Nov 16 20, 4:40 PM

agony

Hi, Catreona, just saw this blog. Hope that things get better for you and your family soon. Navigating the ins and outs of the healthcare system is hard enough at the best of times, and we always seem to have to do it when under terrible stress. My experience has been that when I finally get plugged into the right part of the system, things start to fall into place. Hope it works out that way for you.

Reply #19. Nov 17 20, 11:47 AM

Catreona

MOM UPDATE:

Busy day today. The nurse and social worker came in the morning. They really pushed for Mom to be moved to a nursing home. The compromise is that she has to be moved downstairs or they won't do anything. What can you do? Mom seemed to understand the compromise. She is adamant that she won't go to a nursing home, so she accepted the inevitable. She didn't seem too upset about it.

Cousin Cathy drove out from Boston to see Mom., who was remarkably bright and sharp, obviously very glad to see her. The visit was wonderful but, of course, very tiring. The rest of the day hasn't been good. Not eating or drinking and agitated late in the afternoon into evening. The nurse told Sis lack of interest in eating and drinking is common at the end of life. Also, of course, evening is always the worst part of the day. It's still worrying.

If all goes according to plan, the hospital bed will be delivered first thing in the morning. After that, there may be some delay getting the EMTs and nursing staff coordinated, but all seems on track.

Please continue your campaign of prayers - it helps tremendously. Thank you all so very much for your ongoing support in this most difficult time.

Reply #20. Nov 17 20, 5:47 PM

629 replies. On page 1 of 32 pages. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32

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