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1. Charlie Muffin, Britain's scruffiest spy, eased his aching feet from his battered Hush Puppies and sighed; it always felt so good. He picked up one of the cold case files on his desk. In one he would find the identity of a Soviet double agent. The first looked promising, an actor - always suspect in the eyes of the Secret Intelligence Service (SIS). What's more, it was an actor with a funny moustache and a walking stick, (probably tipped with poison). Who did Charlie Muffin think the double agent might be?
2. Charlie Muffin, leaned back in his SIS-issue office chair and examined a stain on his tie. He sniffed: it smelled like curry sauce. "That'll never come out", sighed Charlie. The tie had cost him $1 on a visit to New York. He bemoaned the wasted greenback and picked up a cold case file still looking for a Soviet agent. Incredibly, he learned that its subject was a man who was loved and dismissed in almost equal measure. This was a man who talked to flowers and loved the planet but threw architects into a rage. Who was the Charles that was born to be king?
3. Charlie Muffin worked diligently in his SIS office folding a piece of cardboard in two and covering every surface tightly with sticky tape. He placed the finished 'patch' in his shoe. If it didn't rain too heavily, that would keep the sole intact while he continued the search among his cold case files for a Soviet double agent.
He picked up a file and could not help singing to himself:
"Is anybody goin' to San Antone
Or Phoenix Arizona
Anyplace is alright as long as I
Can forget I've ever known her"
Which American country singer was allegedly in the frame to be the Soviet Union's best spy of the last 100 years?
4. Charlie Muffin moved closer to the one-bar electric fire concealed behind his desk. It was the end of September, but Civil Service rules said the heating would not come on until October 1st, no matter how cold it was. Charlie had liberated the fire from the typists' pool and successfully concealed it through the resulting full-scale investigation. He picked up a cold case file from his desk Aha! A man who had tried to disguise the fact that he was born with the name Charles by changing it. If he had been a spy he would have earned a Hero of the Soviet Union Medal and it would now have to be plucked from his cold, dead hands. Which rifle-toting, politician-baiting macho actor was the subject of the file?
5. Charlie Muffin turned the dial on the safe in his office. It was supposed to be for Top Secret files but Charlie used it for his store of blank taxi receipts and the electric fire he had stolen from the typists' pool. Before he could fill in a fictitious bill, he was distracted by one of the cold case files, the subject of which had been judged to be a conman of the highest order. Whose crime became a byword for crooked investments selling?
6. Charlie Muffin examined his shirt collar in the mirror behind the office door. It was a bit frayed and he had worn the shirt two days before. With a bit of luck it was fit for one more day this week. The cold case file he opened spoke of a member of an acting dynasty. His father, brothers and sister were all thespians, though confusingly not all shared the same surname. Charlie felt this file packed a lot of potential - maybe this man was a troublemaker like his frequently-arrested father. Whose name was on the cover?
7. Charlie Muffin limped across the foyer of Century House, the old SIS headquarters and still home to the SIS dregs not deemed good enough for the palatial new Vauxhall Cross offices overlooking the Thames. He'd had to walk to work this morning because the tube was on strike - again - and it had rained and his right shoe had leaked. He looked at the material in the cold case file pointing to a politician some had called the "Teflon Man", a politician who always seemed to live beyond his means. Which three-times leader of his country must have kissed the Blarney Stone to have got away with it (if there was an it) for so long?
8. Charlie Muffin began to study the "Expenses Allowable" section of the Civil Service Handbook. It was his favourite section, the pages were now dog-eared, while the rest of the book was pristine. Maybe he could claim for ripping his trousers on a casually abandoned bike. He began to study the cold case file of Soviet spy suspect who preferred a nickname to his real first name. Could Charlie pin this on him? "That'll be the day" he snorted. Think it over: which of these was the subject of the reports and photographs in the MI6 folder?
9. Charlie Muffin caught sight of his reflection in the mirror in the lift to his office on the third floor. The suit was looking a bit shiny about the knees. He'd read about the £30 suits that a German store now on every British high street was advertising. If he caught the tube out to Croydon in his hunt for the cold case spy but claimed a taxi fare, maybe he could make up the money. It was funny, Charlie mused, how so many Americans preferred the diminutive 'Chuck' to their given first name. Charlie Muffin doodled X-1 on the file. Who was the the one-time fastest man in the world that the Secret Intelligence Service pondered just might have been a Soviet spy?
10. Charlie Muffin knew it was going to be a bad day. Other people knew it when they saw a single magpie; Charlie could tell by the amount of pain in his feet. Today it had reached nine on a scale of one to ten. He picked up the last cold case file from his desk. He knew this was the one that would reveal the KGB's top spy in the west for 100 years. It read like a novel, the story of a secret agent who had betrayed the SIS chief and the CIA boss to the Soviets; a spy who had an affair with a glamorous Russian agent. Whose name was on the cover of the file?
Source: Author darksplash
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